Etiquette after taking in a neighbour's parcel?

We live on a country lane with no house numbers but very similar house names so parcels get delivered to the wrong address or in some cases just dumped in a shelter at the end of our garden or thrown in the hedge.

It's not just the odd letter or birthday card. We once had a package of 20 bottles of spring water! Usually too the names and address are correct - the delivery person can't be bothered to check.

Eventually my husband put a notice in the shelter telling people not to leave parcels there and explaining exactly where our house and a some others were. It seems to be working...so far.

Delivery drivers always leave a calling card, so unless #i happened to see the person walking up the path, I wait until they come and collect

I used to take in parcels for a few neighbours and a friend and neighbour opposite. Then things changed and people were getting more and more parcels. I then would only take in small things in perfect packaging, as if you are signing for them you are stating you accept them as being ok and you cannot open and check them if they are not yours. If I was unhappy with the packaging I would not accept it, as I was concerned that the person might not be able to return it if I had signed for it. I was happy to help where I could but would not have accepted big parcels at all. I have now moved so am not involved any longer .

Haven’t seen this recently, but I found it amusing every time I watched it.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtG_FAzb5bw&feature=share&utm_source=EJGixIgBCJiu2KjB4oSJEQ

I find that parcel-taking has changed over the period of the pandemic. Amazon deliverers certainly no longer ring the bell but just leave the parcel in the porch or on the doorstep and that's part of their working arrangements now to 'protect' those people. So the incidence of them knocking on doors and getting no reply then searching for a neighbour to relieve them of the parcel is a lot less. Before all of that happened I would take a parcel but only for a neighbour I knew and who would collect that day. The big problem is that once the parcel is inside your premises you're legally responsible for it. Who wants that extra burden?

Just leave it on their step

Only very occasionally do we take in parcels for immediate neighbours, which we are happy to do as they would do the same for us. They usually collect as soon as they get home.

Sometimes delivery men don't leave a card to say where they have left a parcel.

I shop online a lot but don't often miss deliveries. If we have to go out we have a large parcel box by the door big enough for anything except furniture.

We are both home always so take in loads of parcels except one neighbour who never collected. The regular couriers know and don't even try to leave their parcels. Next time just refuse and you can send back the one you have if they don't collect in a timely fashion

Totally agree.

Back in the 1980s when my generation were in their thirties, we jokingly woman to woman had a concept that can be roughly translated into English as " the nice college".

Graduates of " the nice college" were all the women who had difficulty saying no, and allowed themselves to take in parcels that were not collected, feed neighbours' pets /walk their dogs at the drop of a hat because said neighbour hadn't the guts to tell her boss she couldn't do unscheduled overtime, ran endless errands for mum and MIL.

You can all add things to the list, can't you?

Whenever one of us fell into the trap, one of the others would say, "Time to forget you went to "the nice college" SAY NO NEXT TIME THEY ASK.

Forty years later, it is still good advice.

It never happens down our road. We all have porchways and delivery drivers just leave them there. I never wait in for a parcel because I know it will be left in the porch, even my veg delivery each week.

My NDN used to run a business from their garage and I could guarantee that deliveries were made on a Wednesday (seemed like every Wed).
What day did the 2 of them go out ALL day - a Wednesday ! Why they arranged delivery that day I do not know.
Anyway, the courier would knock at mine with very large boxes and I'd accept them, thinking NDN would come and collect when they got home as a card was left in their door No. I'd be left with a giant box (sometimes 2) cluttering my hall for 2-3 days each week
In the end I refused to accept them.

I think being nice to neighbours is important, so even though I'm busy I always help when I can. However, I would not act as a regular delivery person. Sometimes is okay but to tell the truth I've got rather a lot to do, and might well forget! As far as I'm concerned the item can remain in my house until it's collected. If it is too large to store conveniently, then there's the shed.

nanna8

They won’t deliver to the wrong house here. They make you go and collect it at the local P.O.if you are not home. Perhaps suggest that happens.

The Royal Mail does that here too, nanna8 but these are probably delivery companies.
Some just dump it outside.
Some don't even check they have the right address and postcode and just dump it outside!

The last time round doorstep deliveries occasioned a thread it seemed to me a non- problem and guess what? It still does.
I always get emails and texts from the courier companies (DPD, Evri, Yodel) as well as Royal Mail to tell me when an order is coming - usually with a one hour time slot. I do have a “safe place” out of sight of the road as I have a longish drive and the front door is hidden from the road so have no problem with parcels being left there if I miss the courier/ postie. But if I was asked to take in something huge and unwieldy which blocked the hall or for a complete stranger I woukd refuse if I wanted to.
How hard is it to say no? I am unlikely to though as I value the friendly atmosphere around where I live, good neighbours are worth their weight in gold IMO.
But what it highlighted for me then and does again this time round , is that “neighbourliness” can be thin on the ground for some people.
If you know for a fact your package has mistakenly gone to your next door neighbour, why on earth would you say you had no intention of asking the NDN for the package. She had made no attempt to bring it around or let me know it was there
Isn’t that cutting off your nose to spite your face?
I appreciate many people do not have friendly relations with their neighbours, but what goes around , comes around .
Sadly what an indictment of society.

Yes, they will often try to leave it with a neighbour.

My neighbour popped in with a parcel for me last evening. I have reciprocated on frequent occasions.

They usually leave a note to say where the parcel is, although not always.

I don’t mind, it is a neighbourly thing to do and gives a chance to catch up with things.

Same here Nanna8. If there is nobody home, a card is left and an address for pick up at a depot. I'm having a hard time understanding all this.

Do people order items and give a neighbour's address for deliver? Or do the delivery people just look for a nearby house and ring the bell?

They won’t deliver to the wrong house here. They make you go and collect it at the local P.O.if you are not home. Perhaps suggest that happens.

My NDN has stolen at least one piece of mail from me and once attempted to steal another. During the christmas period I ordered a glitter bomb for one of my nephews - he was invited to an outdoor occasion and wanted to liven things up (with permission from organizer). When package was over due I rang the company and checked the address. They had put next doors number on it and my CCTV showed film of a courier delivering it. I demanded and got a refund as I had no intention of asking the NDN for the package. She had made no attempt to bring it around or let me know it was there. I just got my card refunded and ordered another one from Amazon.

Knowing my dishonest NDN she left it a few days to see if anyone called for the package and then opened it. It was in a plain package and spring loaded with tons of red glitter dust. I hope she enjoyed the glitter bomb! She is probably still trying to clean up the bits from inside her house. Oh joy! And of course she could not say a word or complain.

BlushingSheep
I wonder what was in the parcel? This neighbour can't be that bothered about their parcels if they cbb to come and collect them.

A friend told me years ago that they know a neighbour used to keep deliveries that she took in for neighbours ?

You could give them a week then tell them you're asking it to be returned to sender or keep it.

This is not a NDN but someone a little further down the street

I'm imagining postie trying everyone, on the way along the street, and them all saying No until Muggins BlushingSheep is reached. ?

Maw.

sodapop

OK I just have to ask - what is the story behind your user name Blushingsheep ?

A not unreasonable question?
Perhaps an unfortunate pair of initials though

Feelingmyage55

MissAdventure - do you ask for ID?

Also, how is your young grandson doing/? Well I hope.
I am glad your neighbour looks in on you.

While she’s asleep ?!

I am interested by the use of the word “etiquette” as if there was some formula written down in a handbook for polite usage.
I wonder why you used it OP?
Does it matter?
Why not just do what pleases you - be accommodating for friends or the neighbours who are helpful to you, and say No to the others.
Surely by our time in life we have enough life experience and social skills to make our own judgements?