DDoD- DD on diet, phone, hobby horse(es)

So sorry to hijack this thread but just feel i need to comment on this.

We have a vegetarian relation and know when we go out they take ages to put their order in, the little waitress has to go and ask the chef things like "Is the gravy made with meat juices? When they are ordering veggie lasagne or what is used as a setting agent? When the food is clearly marked for vegetarians

Vegetarians unfortunately do have to ask a string of annoying questions Yammy.
I assure you that I loathe doing it!
It can really take the shine off a nice meal out.

Two weeks ago at a Chinese restaurant I went to had labelled on the menu all sorts of "vegetarian" dishes - two I would have liked to try but they contain fish sauce and oyster sauce respectively.

At a Thai restaurant last year I had wanted to order a green Thai curry (supposedly vegan) and that also had fish in. Apparently nearly all Thai green curry in restaurants is fish based.

In an Italian restaurant a few months ago the waiter told me which dishes were Vegetarian but the cheese they used in the dish I asked about was made with calf's rennet.

I was told (again last year) that "all the deserts" at the (gastro) pub were Vegetarian - but they turned out not to be so.

The list is endless. And yes. very annoying. Don't blame your vegetarian friends/family and be rude to them. Please speak sternly to the restaurants who are misleading. This would eventually improve everyone's dining experience.

Maybe all these places need visiting by Trading Standards. I'm sure if people expecting a chicken dinner were served something that wasn't chicken they would be p**d off.

Probably best to just go to vegetarian restaurants then. My DS is a restaurant manager and has had a very difficult few years thanks to Covid. It's hard enough trying to work out menus and buying the relevant stock and planning preparation without trying to tick every vegetarian, vegan, GF, CF etc etc box.

Aveline, that us a ludicrous suggestion.

If someone doesn't know whether something is or isn't vegetarian/ gluten free/ vegan/ kosher or whatever they simply should not be selling it as such.

I'm sorry your son is having a tough time (like almost everyone) "thanks to covid". Using your solution - maybe he should go somewhere else? You can see how silly this is.

Aveline

Probably best to just go to vegetarian restaurants then. My DS is a restaurant manager and has had a very difficult few years thanks to Covid. It's hard enough trying to work out menus and buying the relevant stock and planning preparation without trying to tick every vegetarian, vegan, GF, CF etc etc box.

There is a difference between someone preferring to eat vegetarian or vegan food and a person who needs to have gluten-free or duty-free food.
A coeliac or someone with a nut allergy could become seriously ill or die if restaurants etc treat these dietary requirements casually.

Autocorrect again!

*NOT duty-free - nut-free

Not silly at all NotSpaghetti. If a vegetarian has these concerns they would be safer going to a vegetarian restaurant. There are plenty of them these days.

Some people do not prefer to eat vegetarian/ vegan, that's is how they choose to eat according to their believes

It is not a chicken or fish kind of thing

I meant to say - it is not what am I in the mood for today- chicken or fish, as if you are in the plane while you are offered a meal

It is a lifestyle people usually stick to, not an on and off practice

Sometimes I fancy a vegetarian dish sometimes I don't. It's not a lifestyle choice for everyone.
Gluten free us a different matter .

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

If you're blaming the parents, then you're blaming yourself!!

I'd be very careful on a carb diet as it can lead to illness, and should be done with specialist help!!!

And what's a 'DDoD-DD'?

@OxfordGran you do sound quite frustrated that you don’t have the level of control over your daughter’s life that you would like. She is an adult and capable of making her own decisions. The tasks you had to do on her visit describe sound quite intense - have you considered that this may have affected her energy? Perhaps she didn’t feel ready to do them? I do think your attitude towards vegetarianism and veganism is very antiquated and unhelpful.

Seemed to me that Oxford was concerned about how thin her dd looked.

Eating vegetarian and vegan food is a choice of belief, not dictated by religious or health reasons. I had friends who years ago complained because the only menu options were cheese or mushroom omelettes; now most restaurants endeavour to provide for their customer 'tastes and offer a wide range of dishes and , but I wonder how many know that a particular cheese is made with calf's rennet. Sounds more like a moral crusade to me.
I remember a dinner party where a particularly strident vegetarian was discovered in the host's kitchen going through the refuse bin to check that the stock cube she had used was in fact gelatin free, after disputing her assertion that it was. She was proved right, and that particular guest got a dressing down for his rudeness towards his host from the other guests, (he had questioned the vegetarian ethics of every course) but it spoilt the evening.

Hithere

I meant to say - it is not what am I in the mood for today- chicken or fish, as if you are in the plane while you are offered a meal

It is a lifestyle people usually stick to, not an on and off practice

You can book your meal when you book your flight.

However the message doesn't always get through even if it is vitally important like gluten or nut free.

"Eating vegetarian and vegan food is a choice of belief, not dictated by religious or health reasons."

Incorrect
In Hinduism, Buddhism and Sikhism, it is highly encouraged to show respect to all living beings

In Jainism, it is mandatory

Some people do eat vegetarian or vegan for health reasons - such as cholesterol, for example

Callistemom

Then it is a failure on the catering companies

There is nothing special about vegetarian or vegan food, it is all made from ordinary ingredients available for all. Whether you choose to make a meal with chicken, fish, cheese or just vegetables, all the ingredients are available on the shelves of every supermarket.

I cannot remember a time in my life when my diet did not include dishes that were entirely made from plant foods, or didn't include meat.

Quite by accident recently, I realised that I had effectively had a day of eating food, all of which would have been acceptable to a vegan - so what! I was merely choosing my meals from the vast variety of recipes and individual food items available to us today.

I can see no reason why restaurants should not understand the basics of vegan and vegetarian cooking. Most of their kitchen staff have attended catering courses and should understand the principles of a range of cuisines. Lets face it most pubs and restaurants always seem to offer one curry dish, so to always have at least one fully vegan or vegetarian dish on the menu, should not be beyond the capacity of any restaurant and will probably be chosen as often by people who are neither vegan nor vegetarian as chosen by people who specifically rquire that choice. I frequently choose the vegetarian/vegan option when eating out.

In fact the sooner vegan and vegitarian food is mainstream in restaurants, the sooner we can be saved from the virtue signalling and martyrdom complex so many vegans seem to enjoy indulging in.

You have had a few, in my opinion, unwarranted critical comments OxfordGran. Your daughter’s behaviour during her visit would surely have tried the patience of any mum!

Until you mentioned that your daughter does eat some meat, I was wondering if perhaps she could be deficient in the B vitamins, especially vitamin B12, a shortage of which can I believe lead to mood swings and irritability.
This deficiency is often found in those on faddy, restrictive diets, and I have even read that a shortage of those vitamins can lead to depression.

JenniferEccles

You have had a few, in my opinion, unwarranted critical comments OxfordGran. Your daughter’s behaviour during her visit would surely have tried the patience of any mum!

Until you mentioned that your daughter does eat some meat, I was wondering if perhaps she could be deficient in the B vitamins, especially vitamin B12, a shortage of which can I believe lead to mood swings and irritability.
This deficiency is often found in those on faddy, restrictive diets, and I have even read that a shortage of those vitamins can lead to depression.

hello! thank you for these kind words. I realised too late that I had posted on AIBU when I meant to be on Ask a Gran, seeking wisdom, experience, insouciance, and see, I invited a maelstrom of self indulgent judgemental comments.
I never said my daughter was vegetarian/vegan. I never said I opposed either eating decisions. I never said many things I was accused of. That my daughter is anoexic, has MH issues, or worse : that I am disapproving, controlling, have antiquated ideas, rests in the heads of the posters.
What this thread has shown is that many posters have poor comprehension skills ; do not read or understand the query, so anxious to pin the tail on the donkey.
Nevertheless a few respondents have been kind and soothing. I have tried to ignore the more outlandish opinions.

I'm not sure if it's the catering companies or the message doesn't get through from airline to the catering company.
They must provide the exact number of meals for the number of passengers.

JenniferEccles

You have had a few, in my opinion, unwarranted critical comments OxfordGran. Your daughter’s behaviour during her visit would surely have tried the patience of any mum!

Until you mentioned that your daughter does eat some meat, I was wondering if perhaps she could be deficient in the B vitamins, especially vitamin B12, a shortage of which can I believe lead to mood swings and irritability.
This deficiency is often found in those on faddy, restrictive diets, and I have even read that a shortage of those vitamins can lead to depression.

yes I understand this - what I could not understand was the moodiness.
Since she has left she is returned to her normal affectionate self in a high powered job and a devoted bf.
She has also described the source of her angst, being hungry, irritable etc in a few days meant to be devoted to family business.
My tiny daughter was meant to be matching a weight for a charity steeplechase, didn’t say as she knew that I would be anxious. She retired from this at 30. Now it has been cancelled the pressure is off, for all of us.
We understand the essential B12 and zinc, multivits, Guinness,
green veg, we always had a good diet, all my girls have thick hair, clearskin, stamina.
Faddy diets! yes, for a year we suffered from her post Uni veganism, not entirely as a concept or lifestyle, more of a strident declaration, as someone here posted, going through bins and castigating devout carnivores. We resolved to let her work through it which we did, I cannot be the only mum to have tolerated this hobby horse, giving credence to the truism - how do you know when someone is a Vegan? cos they tell you within 15 seconds of meeting you. Depression yes, bound to be, food is fuel.
Thank you for your tolerant kind post

"what I could not understand was the moodiness.
Since she has left she is returned to her normal affectionate self in a high powered job and a devoted bf.
She has also described the source of her angst, being hungry, irritable etc in a few days meant to be devoted to family business."

Your dd seems to have a total normal reaction given the circumstances

Everybody is happy to be back to their normal happy lives with the people they love

May I ask what you were expecting to happen in the visit?

A little harsh on vegans!