Daughter is paying a flying visit today before going out to dinner and a concert with friends. The original plan was that she would call here for a quick cup of tea and I will leave her to the train. Now my ex has got involved and is going to take her out to lunch first and when son heard this he is going to join them. By the time they have done that it will be almost time for her train . Why do they do this?
My in-laws do just this. They are lovely folk but we tell them we are coming x day and would like to treat them to y. There reply is always come z day and we'll do abc. Consequently we try never to tell them our plans too far in advance. We organised a huge family party about 2 years ago, we were fully prepared for their wanting it to be re-arranged so we decided up front they could do whatever they wanted to do the other 20+ guests were doing what we had arranged and were more than happy to go along with it. It was over three days and they did actually miss bits of the celebrations because they wanted to prove a point and were not on a couple of Group Photos, which have been explained away as "that was the day I was unwell and had to stay in bed". Everyone knows that wasn't so but it is never discussed. I like to keep to arrangements when made.
She must feel what ever she chooses she will let someone down. Very difficult one for you. It does seem fair that she should stick to original/first made arrangement but who knows what emotional pressures she's wrestling with.
Yes, families can be difficult. Goes with the territory, and requires constant readjustment/compromise/ dialogue/ patience/feedback etc... Is anyone surprised by that?... It usually all works out in the end, although there are always some lost causes who are just not worth the effort, and who frankly, should just be put down to experience and then forgotten about.
I don't think she knows yet as plane is still in the air - no wonder people want to see her. We have this issue when my son "drops in" for 5 days from America and "needs" to see friends - but family think he needs to see us.
It is your daughter who is rearranging things, She suggested calling in for a quick cup of tea, and she should arrange meetings with her father and brother around the first invitation. Manners! Alternatively, father could invite you to the meal.
Have you warned your daughter about these proposed changes of her plan? She will need time to 'get her act together and decide what she wants to do. Depending on her personality she may go happily along with the new arrangements, or alternatively (if she's as bolshy as my daughter) she may be furious and stay away, just seeing her friends - so none of you will get a look-in. Could they all stick to her plan and join her at your house for the original 'quick cup of tea'?
No I hardly ever read the date. I'd dearly like to know what happened. I must say I used to lose track of my posts on here until I noticed the "I'm On" option across the page top. We could use a tutorial for newbies showing how to navigate the site and also explaining where to find the abbreviations for laugh, cry, agree etc. It took me ages to work out who DH and DD were!