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AIBU

Should we be accepting these behaviours?

(224 Posts)
Sago Tue 24-Jan-23 13:15:15

So an adult male is dressing in a primary school uniform and loitering around the school gates and Police say this is harmless behaviour.

This is a step too far.

Have we been brainwashed into accepting this anti social behaviour?

reduxx.info/uk-man-loitering-near-school-while-wearing-a-schoolgirl-uniform-does-not-pose-risk-says-police/

M0nica Tue 24-Jan-23 19:32:56

But there are two sides to this story and no one is doing seems to being doing anything to help the parents and children deal with this very complex matter.

Norah Tue 24-Jan-23 19:32:26

volver

^you cannot tell the difference just by looking at someone.^

Exactly. So just as GSM said, its quite right that the police were involved. They will have more information about the man and what his background is, than any of the concerned parents are likely to have. If we get to a situation where we think we know better than the Police about random people we see in the street, then we are talking about anarchy.

Precisely.

volver Tue 24-Jan-23 19:30:46

you cannot tell the difference just by looking at someone.

Exactly. So just as GSM said, its quite right that the police were involved. They will have more information about the man and what his background is, than any of the concerned parents are likely to have. If we get to a situation where we think we know better than the Police about random people we see in the street, then we are talking about anarchy.

Norah Tue 24-Jan-23 19:28:28

AGAA4

We don't know what the price have said to this man or what he has told them.

Without facts we shouldn't villify anyone.

This ^

M0nica Tue 24-Jan-23 19:24:47

What bothers me is that all the consideration is being exercised on this man's side. No one is taking any notice of the fears the parents quite rightly feel faced with his behaviour. He may not be a threat, but the problem is, that often men behaving as he is are a threat, and you cannot tell the difference just by looking at someone.

I think much more consideration should be given to the parents and children involved.

AGAA4 Tue 24-Jan-23 19:23:19

Police!

Philippa111 Tue 24-Jan-23 19:23:12

Red flags big and loud!! I am presuming they have checked to make sure he is not on a sex offenders register.... and this may be a 'yet'. This should be stopped! I certainly wouldn't let any child from that school walk home alone! Just to have to see this is disturbing enough for the children.

AGAA4 Tue 24-Jan-23 19:23:01

We don't know what the price have said to this man or what he has told them.

Without facts we shouldn't villify anyone.

Callistemon21 Tue 24-Jan-23 19:22:55

Ilovecheese

It is not a crime to wear school uniform. How could that possibly be against the law.

It it is not a crime to wait outside school gates.

Better mental health care is in short supply for everyone.

Violetsky didn't say either of those was a crime, she said he should not be allowed and I agree.

We all on this thread agree that mental health care is inadequate.

JaneJudge Tue 24-Jan-23 19:21:03

I know it's none of my business but i did wonder f he was known to social services or receives support from them and this is why the decision as made that he was not a risk.

Callistemon21 Tue 24-Jan-23 19:19:14

Seen on Mumsnet:

That’s not all he’s doing. He’s riding the bus where school children are riding, dressed in the uniform, and taking pictures of the kids

No risk? 🤔

Ilovecheese Tue 24-Jan-23 19:13:47

It is not a crime to wear school uniform. How could that possibly be against the law.

It it is not a crime to wait outside school gates.

Better mental health care is in short supply for everyone.

Ilovecheese Tue 24-Jan-23 19:11:05

Would it not have been better if the police had been more forceful in telling him to stop what he is doing, havn't they left him in a rather exposed and vulnerable (to vigilantism) position. I accept they couldn't actually forbid him, but warn him strongly of the possible consequences. Or maybe they did and he took no notice.

VioletSky Tue 24-Jan-23 19:06:39

He should not be allowed to wear yhe schools uniform

He should not be allowed to loiter around a school he has no attachment to, no one should.

He should be receiving better mental health care

Norah Tue 24-Jan-23 18:56:18

Aren't people presumed innocent, even as they look odd? Do we want to live in a country (Iran, Russia) where people could judge us by our looks?

Sounds like calling PA guilty. He was found guilty of nothing.

I'd advocate to watch your children vigilantly, better than ever, be timely at drop-off and pickup, warn your children, keep them in groups, volunteer at their school, eyes wide open at all times.

Don't go on with unfounded accusations.

What if your (hypothetical) family member was falsely accused and it proved nothing? What then?

Callistemon21 Tue 24-Jan-23 18:54:14

Wyllow3

The police are likely to have contacted local MH services in an assessment not just done a brief assessment themselves. He is causing distress I agree and needs to be moved on from school gates, unfortunately the state of care is inadequate to deal with him.

Possibly not if he knows his rights to be able to identify as he wishes. The police may think anything they say may be regarded as discrimination.

Yes, MH services are wholly inadequate now.

I agree, no risk cannot be the right assessment, Iam64.

Wyllow3 Tue 24-Jan-23 18:43:35

The police are likely to have contacted local MH services in an assessment not just done a brief assessment themselves. He is causing distress I agree and needs to be moved on from school gates, unfortunately the state of care is inadequate to deal with him.

Allsorts Tue 24-Jan-23 18:42:34

He shouldn’t be there, move him on, preferably to get help with his mental health.

Iam64 Tue 24-Jan-23 18:38:31

This man doesn’t appear to be a risk to himself or others, he hasn’t committed an offence. I assume he has no history of sexual offending against children and this, along with talking with him led the police to conclude he poses no risk.
That’s a brave conclusion, unless they’ve involved sone one with forensic psych knowledge. I’m in no way disrespecting the police ability to assess risk, they’re often very good at it. Having worked with sex offenders, I’d feel more reassured by a ‘low risk’ assessment. No risk - really. This man is causing distress. His own needs dominate.

Wyllow3 Tue 24-Jan-23 18:31:57

lemsip

'The police will surely know if he’s a dangerous pervert' what?

they don't even recognise those among there force.

that's because they are very good at hiding and deception - this man is clearly not.

Wyllow3 Tue 24-Jan-23 18:29:25

I have no doubt that the police have considered the Mental Health Act, they have to consider it all the time when dealing with all kinds of issues day and night.

He is clearly not judged to be a danger to self and others at the moment.

It sounds like he need a lot more care than he is getting atm*.

That doesn't mean to say that he can't be asked to move on - he should - no one but a parent or staff relative should hang around school gates.

*this man, a number of years ago, may have been given a bed in a more suitable environment but they do not exist anymore due to cut backs except In Extremis.

lemsip Tue 24-Jan-23 18:25:04

'The police will surely know if he’s a dangerous pervert' what?

they don't even recognise those among there force.

Callistemon21 Tue 24-Jan-23 18:10:41

BlueBelle

Oh Fanny I don’t think you can say categorically
The man is clearly a pervert getting his kicks around kids
I would think it’s much more likely he’s a vulnerable old man with severe mental health problems and for his sake alone he should be kindly moved on The police will surely know if he’s a dangerous pervert
I agree he shouldn’t be there but it should be done kindly unless they know anything to the contrary

I pondered earlier about help and wonder what the criteria is for sectioning under the Mental Health Act is and if he might be considered a danger to himself or others.

Or is this behaviour permissible if he claims he is identifying as a 10 year old girl?

Joseanne Tue 24-Jan-23 18:02:07

Callistemon21

Your reasoned and knowledgeable input is always welcome, Germanshepherdsmum.

Yes, I respect your comments, GSM, always succinct and useful.

BlueBelle Tue 24-Jan-23 18:00:48

Oh Fanny I don’t think you can say categorically
The man is clearly a pervert getting his kicks around kids
I would think it’s much more likely he’s a vulnerable old man with severe mental health problems and for his sake alone he should be kindly moved on The police will surely know if he’s a dangerous pervert
I agree he shouldn’t be there but it should be done kindly unless they know anything to the contrary