Should we be accepting these behaviours?

Who has said it’s perfectly acceptable?

I’m not overly concerned about his MH making him need to dress as a schoolgirl. So many men think it’s OK to dress as women nowadays, what’s one more?
I am concerned about his MH making him want to dress as a schoolgirl and hang about schools.
Unless we’re saying all fetishists or cross-dressers have mental health issues, people without mental health issues, dress as schoolgirls, French maids, nurses, etc.
But if they did that in public, they would be accused of disturbing the peace, or causing public disorder. Why is he different?

As for the children, particularly older children, if they see a man dressed as a girl outside school, they are quite likely to see it as a joke, and probably point that out in hearing distance of the man.
Would his mental health protect him from realising that he was the butt of jokes?

What if he found it offensive and took action to stop it?

At what stage do you think the police would be OK to step in and move him?

When he’s telling them to stop?
When he actually takes action?
When he causes damage to a child?

sparkynan

As a GP to 4 ages 3 to 12 GC, I am horrified at the thought that the general consensus on GN seems to be it's perfectly acceptable for this man to be dressed up in female school uniform (varying uniforms from several schools) loitering outside schools. He may have MH issues but childrens MH and Physical safety comes first. I'm not bothered that he wants to dress up in a wig and female uniform but not near schools or on buses with predominately school children.

I don't care that I'm not PC,Woke or just because it not the law!!! IT IS NOT RIGHT!
Maybe someone should give him a ticket for the Rocky Horror show.. He will blend in fine there.

sparkynan

No, very few have said that.
Read the posts.

What some of us have said is that he needs help but that it may not be available immediately.

Perhaps he’s a policeman! 🤣

JPB123 🤣🤣🤣

The worlds gone mad.

OnwardandUpward

It's not appropriate for anyone to loiter near a school and it's definitely not appropriate for anyone to wear a school uniform if they are not a pupil of that school.

I'm not excusing him, but perhaps he has a sister at the school and he has "borrowed" her uniform to try and fit in, maybe to make friends- trouble is, it will produce the opposite. School uniforms do cost a lot to buy so I don't know how likely someone with MH or LD would be to buy one. Hopefully his social worker can redirect him to places where he may meet people and gain social stimuli.

I hope the head teacher gives them a good talking to as well as Mr Plod. I hope no one takes the law into their own hands and that everyone stays safe. I'd be upset if I was a parent or child there, too.

He bought the uniforms from the local school uniform shop. On 2 deferent occasions. The shop has asked him not to return. It's not right he is being allowed to carry on with this disturbing behaviour, freighting children and parents. These terrible stories we hear about in the news, lots say no previous This man is getting on the bus with the children, taking photos and then waiting outside the school. Maybe he is deciding which one is his favourite! How anyone can support someone like this is beyond me.

I continually think of that poor young girl, stopped by that policeman, made to go in the back of his car, quoting Covid restrictions, and then raped and murdered her. Turned out he had 'previous' and his fellow police officers did nothing about it.

JPB123

Perhaps he’s a policeman! 🤣

Yes, good point! Maybe ex-police, retired.

volver

^Other police forces seem to manage to handle these kinds of incidents more proactively.^

Evidence?

Here's your evidence dear.
Where is YOUR evidence than men who dress as women AND deliberately do so around young girls are not doing so for “harmless” reasons? We all know that so often this kind of behaviour is linked to a number of paraphilias, which can include paedophilia.

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/northamptonshire/8504437.stm

And I wonder what this man wears underneath his cute little girl's school uniform??

He looks a bit on the old side to have a sister at school, Onward&Upward….

Delila

He looks a bit on the old side to have a sister at school, Onward&Upward….

True Delila. I try to think the best of people, but its not always possible.

Its hard to fathom what goes through some people's heads.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Oooh, what happened?

OnwardandUpward

Delila

He looks a bit on the old side to have a sister at school, Onward&Upward….

True Delila. I try to think the best of people, but its not always possible.

Its hard to fathom what goes through some people's heads.

A big age gap, OnwardandUpward!
He looks to be in his sixties and this is a primary school.

Its hard to fathom what goes through some people's heads.
Sometimes it's better not to try.

Yes.

I can't even begin to try to understand his POV (and I don't want to because it's not my job to) Someone, somewhere probably does have that job and I send them my best wishes.

Me too - I can’t imagine being able to do that job.

The man is hanging about outside schools, dressed in a girls school uniform. He has been loitering outside several different school wearing different uniforms. I wouldn't be forming a vigilante group, I would however expect the police to ask him to move along. or the head teacher to ask him to move along, he has NO reason to be there!
If a 62 year old man wearing everyday male clothes was hanging about outside a school, I would expect him to be asked to move long as well.
How would you react, if he was standing outside your house staring at your window? wearing a clowns uniform, a school girls outfit and wig, or normal clothes.
Its my personal opinion that his behaviour is suspicious and not the act of acceptable behaviour and I don't want him hanging about outside my grandchild's schools.. Is that wish so bad????? It doesn't appear that he has broken any laws but I don't want there to be any risk that he does something horrendous.

Sparkynan
^ If a 62 year old man wearing everyday male clothes was hanging about outside a school, I would expect him to be asked to move long as well.^
Actually, up north where I teach, if anyone, male or female is seen persistently hanging about outside the school, (including parents) they would be questioned about their intentions, then moved on. Loitering outside schools, in whatever clothing is not encouraged.

Actually, up north where I teach, if anyone, male or female is seen persistently hanging about outside the school, (including parents) they would be questioned about their intentions, then moved on.

Mollygo, I wonder how lawful that is. It might be a sensible idea but without any specific crime, I wonder if it could cause trouble for the mover on-er!

We used to have a parent who would stand outside the playing fields watching her child at every playtime. She didn't do any harm per se but it made life difficult for her daughter who was bullied because of it. Nothing her daughter's teachers over the years would stop her.

No idea how lawful it is. It’s a primary school.
The main problem is that children will rush over to the fence to investigate, despite several staff on duty and the children having been told not to do that.
The head takes the view, better safe than sorry. Parents who loiter are encouraged to come into school and talk about their concerns.
Parents who loiter and take photos are firmly discouraged. People who walk past, stopping occasionally to watch the children at play are welcome to do that.
People who loiter at playtime or lunchtime are greeted by the head who talks to them and they usually move on of their own accord. News of persistent loiterers who approach or try to entice children to the fence or hang around at hometime is often passed from school to school or sometimes comes from the police. Sometimes information is sent to parents. It’s a sad state of affairs, but if a ‘stranger’ becomes ‘familiar’ by constantly being outside school, that does become an issue. If anything bad happened I can imagine the outcry of lack of care that there would be, especially in the media including GN.

better safe than sorry
I think that is the sensible attitude to take, in fact the only attitude. Most Heads I know would politely talk to loiterers and ensure they moved on. I don't know about schools now, but I used to have key words to use to alert our local police in an emergency.

Yes I think it is up to the Head Teacher to be present at home time. To use their authoritative voices to speak to ant loiterers and act accordingly. Schools should also have good cctv at the gates, so the information is recorded as proof.

I mean any loiterers