I think that you are being a bit unreasonable. Your DH does do the washing up - it’s just that he doesn’t do it as soon as you’d like him to. Why is this such a problem for you? Is it because your kitchen is a kitchen diner and you see the dirty dishes piled up once you’ve finished eating? If this is the case, I can understand why you find it irritating to be looking at dirty pots long after you’ve eaten and you’re now trying to relax in the same room. If that’s the situation, then suggest you tackle the clearing up together so that you can both relax for the rest of the evening in a clutter free space. However, if you are not in the kitchen area once you’ve eaten, but in a room closed off from it, then try to relax and not let the fact that there are dirty pots still waiting to be washed sitting in the kitchen - leave it to your DH to sort (which he does, by the sound of it) — watch the tv, go up for a bath, read in bed, whatever, and leave your DH to it and be happy that he’s content to do the washing up after you’ve spent so much time prepping and cooking. The thing is, If you complain about it too much, he might just take umbrage and leave you to the washing up as well, feeling that his efforts aren’t good enough for you, and then you’ll feel even more aggrieved at having it all to do.
Compromise, but don’t sweat the small stuff!