Well it takes all sorts and on another day they may behave differently. Isn't it grand that we aren't all the same
I had to get an early bus (to catch my train) and those commuters give off an aura of don't you dare speak to me so I don't.
I think the woman with the trolley should have asked you overthehill
But what would you have said?
Gransnet forums
AIBU
A little whinge
(116 Posts)I got on a bus yesterday and a woman with a shopping trolley sat next to me. I know there are more important things in the world than this, but this annoys me. The bus was practically empty, so why sit next to me. She could have gone to the wheelchair bit with her trolley, it was empty with a seat nearby. If that seat was the only one available, then fair enough. Do others have petty grievances?
In Prague people joined our table,made my daughter move up ,then proceeded to smoke.
That would definitely annoy me , I expect she was just lonely and wanted someone to talk too
We are bemused how, sometimes, when we have set our caravan and awning up in a completely empty part of a site, and we're sitting out enjoying the peace with our first glass of wine, when another caravan comes and parks up next to us and their noisy kids start running riot
On a fairly deserted beach in the South West of France with our young children and 2 large families came and sat right in front of us, between us and the sea.
I found it very peculiar and our peace was shattered so we moved.
That’s very poignant Aldom.
Not the same, but I have sat next to strangers on a long flight to Australia. Time and again, by the time the journey has finished, we often know quite a bit about each other, though we are destined never to meet again.
Should add if I were to be seated near someone who wasn’t keen to chat, I too would respect that and keep silent.
its normal here to speak to strangers so if someone avoided all the empty seats to sit next to me I'd start a conversation
.It may well be you looked like a safe person to sit beside so thats why she sat there.Maybe sitting in an empty seat would have meant she had a rowdy teen or a drunk beside her or even just someones kids who might be loud when she didn't need loud .
Life's too short to shut others out even when you really want your own ,sometimes a chat with a stranger can be a really good thing
On a fairly recent, long journey by National Express coach, a lady joined the coach and sat next to me.
I was tired and in a reflective mood, due to the circumstances of my journey. At the time I would have preferred to travel in silence, but the lady started a conversation. It soon became apparent that she needed to talk about the recent death of her adult daughter. My heart went out to her, as, four years ago I lost an adult son. I was able to listen to her story and eventually share a little of my bereavement experience with her. There was so much empathy between us. We helped one another. When I reached my destination this lady stood to let me out of my seat. We were face to face in the gangway, looking into each others eyes. Then we hugged, long and close.
I think of her, a stranger, who I'll never see again, but who has a corner in my heart forever.
Mogsmaw I was way down the bus next to the exit not near the front at all. Also regarding the wheelchair area once the bus fills up it appears everyone for themselves as rarely do you actually see a wheelchair user and if one gets on, then people do move out the way.
I always talk to old ladies on buses, it embarrasses my daughter and grandchildren. My granddaughter often asks if I know them. It's obvious that they often enjoy a chat and amazing how much I know about them by the time we've had our 15 minute trip.
We moved somewhere new a couple of years ago and I'm very pleased to find that many people here are friendly and speak to me when I'm out, even if we've not met before.
Patsy70
I know exactly how you feel. What about in a car park, where there are loads of spaces and the very large 4x4 parks next to you?
Yes, this drives my husband beserk, especially if they are so close that he can't open the door!
It's the same at the pictures, you can be in an empty auditorium and someone will come and sit right next to you!
62Granny
LRavenscroft
My mother had a lovely large front garden which she tended with loving care. She had a bench, rockery etc. One day I went outside and there were several German tourists sitting on her bench so I told them politely that this was private land. One lady replied 'You would not mind please if some weary elderly pensioners rested their legs and enjoyed the garden for a few moments'. Couldn't really say anything but felt it was a cheek.
I would probably have ended up offering them a cuppa TBH , just to show some hospitality.
I think my mum would have too. On another occasion she did actually invite some other German tourists to sit on her bench when she was gardening and she gave them tea and cake. They were two elderly ladies and they wrote to her after that for a couple of years.
overthehill
I got on a bus yesterday and a woman with a shopping trolley sat next to me. I know there are more important things in the world than this, but this annoys me. The bus was practically empty, so why sit next to me. She could have gone to the wheelchair bit with her trolley, it was empty with a seat nearby. If that seat was the only one available, then fair enough. Do others have petty grievances?
I’d sit next to you on the bus if you were in the front seat.
I have very restricted movement in my hips so I can’t shuffle sideways into seats. So the other rows are very difficult for me.
You can’t leave your shopping trolley in the wheelchair space. ITS FOR WHEELCHAIRS! and it would fall over.
I’m also very unstable on the tip-up sideways spaces as I’ve fall in the past.
So please let me know what busses you travel on so i never inconvenience you with my presence.
I can't bear it. when lane swimming in an empty swimming bath, someone comes in and swims in the lane next to me instead of the other side of the bath; I find it passive aggressive and think they just want the lane alongside the edge. Sorry to say, it is usually a bloke "training for the Olympics" with speed and gusto.
It always arritates me in restaurants and coffee bars when someone plonks themself down at my table without asking if I mind. A man once did that and then proceeded to push "his" bottle of drink and other things over onto "my" side of the table. I pushed them back to make room when the waitress brought my food.
MerylStreep
BlueBell
Now we know why we have that reputation, if this thread is anything to go by.
Remember: a stranger is only a friend you’ve never met 😊
Hmm, then I was wrong as an 18 year old to be suspicious of the man (about twice my age) who chose to sit next to me in a West End cartoon theatre that - apart from around 6 other people - was empty?
Maybe I lost the opportunity to form a life long friendship - or, when I got up and moved, saved myself from being harassed by his unwonted attention.
Guess, I'll never know! Except that I do - when I moved, he got up and walked out of the theatre.
It's a lovely sentiment. But strangers are not necessarily going to be your next best friend.
Yes merylstreep I agree I never miss an opportunity to chat to someone and if they make it obvious they don’t want to engage that’s ok I can take a hint, but what a life if we never talked to or sat near a stranger
Life is so much richer if you reach out
They have recently started ‘men only chat walks’ here to really encourage men to open up about, fears, worries or just blooming football /cars anything but men don’t usually engage or open up as much as women I think it’s a brilliant idea
BlueBelle
Oh my goodness I think you are being really petty
Why shouldn’t she sit where she wants in the bus ? I just can’t believe that that could bother anyone enough to start a conversation over it
Well let’s hope you always travel in future on an empty bus
😂😂😂
Most people I believe have an instinctive reaction to complete strangers who get too close to them for no apparent good reason.
I don't study these things but I'd imagine it's a natural instinct which is all part of the 'survival' mechanism. I believe from scientific studies that everyone has what is called an 'intimate space' which extends outwards about 18 inches in every direction, and only family and one's closest friends may enter it.
The woman has the right to sit where she likes - we know that - but I believe it's quite a normal reaction to wonder why, with a shopping trolley in tow - she chose to fit herself and it into a smaller and less accommodating space.
LRavenscroft
My mother had a lovely large front garden which she tended with loving care. She had a bench, rockery etc. One day I went outside and there were several German tourists sitting on her bench so I told them politely that this was private land. One lady replied 'You would not mind please if some weary elderly pensioners rested their legs and enjoyed the garden for a few moments'. Couldn't really say anything but felt it was a cheek.
I would probably have ended up offering them a cuppa TBH , just to show some hospitality.
BlueBell
Now we know why we have that reputation, if this thread is anything to go by.
Remember: a stranger is only a friend you’ve never met 😊
This is such a brilliant post, really amusing.. I love chatting to people at bus stops and on the bus.. yesterday a young mum was telling me about her daughter's upcoming 8th birthday party. she is having a yoga party with the facilitator telling stories about animals which the children do yoga poses to..
apparently they do yoga at her school... wonderful
Some years ago when queuing to check in for a flight to Sydney, an exotically dressed lady, my age, completely dotty I thought (she isn’t- well a bit!) engaged me in crazy conversation. We palled each other via South Korea to Sydney. Turns out she was a journalist/influencer/author/exTV person & quite a lot more, and we’ve been in touch ever since. It’s often under the weirdest of conditions that friends are made.
Grammaretto I offered one Swedish guest a cup of tea. They said "Coffee would be good!"
They are lovely thoughtful people. We still use it as a phrase here in our house
(along with the very specific intonation) 
I later had a conversation with a Swedish relative who said that please and thank you are very little used. Especially please.
LRavenscroft, your mother was lucky her German visitors didn’t spread their towels out on her lawn.
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