A little whinge

Haha. Like being on a deserted beach and people have to sit themselves right next to you.

Back packs on public transport and those individuals on a train who need to use the whole table .....it drives me insane!

On a recent trip, someone in front of me boarded the train wearing a back pack, as they moved up the carriage, they kept catching people sitting in aisle seats, one lady across the side of her head! I appreciate they can be heavy but at least have some spacial awareness.

If they do that to me, before I've even turned on the ignition, I gety phone out and have a browse

Tall people with huge backpacks are potentially lethal on tube platforms!

I had just moved to Glasgow in the 1970s and was sitting at one end of a bench in Sauchiehall St and there was a woman at the other end. A third woman turned up and said to me "move yer bum, hen" indicating I should move up towards the middle of the bench and let her sit at the end. I was so flabberghasted at the time that I immediately obeyed. I soon learned that this was par for the course in Glasgow and quickly came to love the friendly outgoing nature of Glaswegians. Sad to leave 15 years later.

My whinge of late, minor as it is, is this. I go swimming around three times a week. Being a strange person, and I'm not alone I'm thankfully in the majority, when I'm in the pool, I just swim that's why I go. However, I can't help noticing that some people go, get in the pool, usually before they amble off to the jacuzzi and spend their time chatting to a friend, there is a bar/coffee lounge for socialising. The problem is, the talkers, will stay at the end of the pool, the bit where we the swimmers do our turn around and because some of the width is taken up, swimmers wishing to avoid them, get corralled into half a section of the pool because there are inactive people just hanging around talking at the end. I've started to swim at them now, depending on how many of us are doing lane swimming, one woman looked a bit shocked with an "oh" as I approached the end as if I wasn't observing the protocol of the "lets just stand here and get wet people". I mean I don't see the point grrr!

Whether you occupy one of the double seats empty in the bus, or sit on the other half of a double seat already occuppied is a cultural thing.

In Denmark, as in Britain it is considered slightly odd if you sit down beside a strange when there are empty seats available elsewhere.

However, and American colleague told me that where she comes from women especially always choose to sit beside someone already occuppying a seat, on the grounds that that way she gets to choose who she sits beside, whereas if she sits on a completely empty seat, she has no say in who sits down beside her later.

Her mother had apparently drilled the principle into her when she was young.

In India, too, a woman boarding a bus on her own will always try to find a seat beside another woman, to avoid having to sit beside a completely strange man.

I wonder if the lady wanted an aisle seat because she needed room for her trolley. If she had sat elsewhere she would have had to get up and let someone into the window seat in order to be by the aisle.

Yogitree I found the "communal" aspect in Portuguese eateries lovely. Even though difficukties with language meals turned into social events. Children were very well behaved, no running about, shouting, having temper strops, all sat engaged or observing what was going on. Oh for that in UK.

I moan regularly about drivers who don’t signal until they’re virtually turning a corner, or worse, they don’t signal at all!

Our local coffee shop is quite small and doesn't have a lot of seating. So why do people arrive with laptops etc and take over a double table with four chairs to put their coats and bags on. They are completely oblivious (or so it seems) to people wandering around with trays looking for a seat. They then hold long and loud conversations at the same time. Selfish, self important and totally lacking in spatial awareness.

Patsy70

I know exactly how you feel. What about in a car park, where there are loads of spaces and the very large 4x4 parks next to you?

Once travelling from Leicester back home on Boxing Day we stopped at some services hoping at least the toilets were open . We were the only car in the huge car park. When we got back from the loos a car was parked right next to us.
My bug bare is when in a Supermarket often M&S you put your food on the conveyer belt and the bar across the back of them. Someone comes along usually catches you with their trolley pushes the bar up and all your food piles up.
They then stand right beside you at the checkout and when we used to put a code in they watched where your fingers were going. If they are with someone else they comment on what you buy. I feel like saying "Don't be so bl...y nosey.

When I was working I took the same bus daily. There was a seat at the bottom of the stairs that an older business man always sat on. He then spent the journey looking up girls skirts as they went upstairs.

I have no problem with anyone sitting next to me public transport but find it very irksome if all they wish to talk about are themselves with barely a nod when you try to chip in with something about yourself

I think people are still a bit anxious about being that close to another person since Covid and some have to be very careful. Also Im quite wide in the beam and theres not enough room on the bus seat for anyone but a small one!

, a few years ago I was going on a short break holiday and getting on the coach head down looking for my seat number, found it and sat down next to a lady who was 'with' the couple in front so they were quietly nattering back and forth. when we stopped at the services then returned to the coach I saw what the problem was..........all the seats behind me were vacant! why didnt they point this out to me... ha ha I did feel a fool.. but my head was down looking for my given seat number.

I try very hard not to let petty things annoy me. They raise my blood pressure and that's not a good thing. So I take a deep breath and relax. In the case of parking in multi storey I'll go to a floor that has spaces if possible. I don't really bother who sits beside me on a bus unless I am going on a long journey then I move if possible.

I’m SO pleased to read this from all of you, I thought I was the only one that felt like this!!!
I would like to get into the head of the person invading our personal space…. “ oh look, a whole empty bus (train, car park…) but there’s one person over there, so I’ll go and sit RIGHT NEXT TO THEM!!!” Bonkers 🤷‍♀️

Grammaretto, to make a change, I issued 'seat numbers' for my adult IT class (mostly pensioners, always in the same seats) - half way through the course. I said it was an experiment (well, it was my experiment) to see how well they managed when mixed up, randomly, without their usual companions. They did make new friends. Quite a few came along just to socialise.

People (well, here in London) do have their own personal spaces and we're instinctively aware of them. A woman at work 'just knew' her husband was having an affair - as he stood too close to a friend at the bar!

mumofmadboys

Perhaps she was lonely and hoped to have a chat?

My first thought was, “Perhaps the OP looked a friendly sort of person.”

Mollygo

mumofmadboys

Perhaps she was lonely and hoped to have a chat?

My first thought was, “Perhaps the OP looked a friendly sort of person.”

Well she got that wrong, didn’t she 😂

It flummoxes a group of us if when we arrive at the staff room for lunch to find 'our' spot occupied by supply staff or students.
We do sit elsewhere without fuss.

It's when they help themselves (by the glass full sometimes) to staffs personal milk in the fridge, without enquiring.

Pascal30. More un nerving is being followed to the toilet in China. What do they hope to see? it is bad enough not having any doors.

TerriBull

My whinge of late, minor as it is, is this. I go swimming around three times a week. Being a strange person, and I'm not alone I'm thankfully in the majority, when I'm in the pool, I just swim that's why I go. However, I can't help noticing that some people go, get in the pool, usually before they amble off to the jacuzzi and spend their time chatting to a friend, there is a bar/coffee lounge for socialising. The problem is, the talkers, will stay at the end of the pool, the bit where we the swimmers do our turn around and because some of the width is taken up, swimmers wishing to avoid them, get corralled into half a section of the pool because there are inactive people just hanging around talking at the end. I've started to swim at them now, depending on how many of us are doing lane swimming, one woman looked a bit shocked with an "oh" as I approached the end as if I wasn't observing the protocol of the "lets just stand here and get wet people". I mean I don't see the point grrr!

At my gym the pool attendant would intervene.

Ditto asking people in the wrong lane to move (ie a slow person in the fast lane or vice versa. Standard procedure. I'd have a word with gym management to hand down to poolside workers. Given that you have jacuzzi's and a cafe (which we do) its perfectly reasonable. It might help if there is a notice poolside to back this up.

Mind you I have a particular spot in the gym on the warm up space under a nice window to look out of to do my yoga. Woe to anyone occupying "my" space......[grim]