A little whinge

I can't bear it. when lane swimming in an empty swimming bath, someone comes in and swims in the lane next to me instead of the other side of the bath; I find it passive aggressive and think they just want the lane alongside the edge. Sorry to say, it is usually a bloke "training for the Olympics" with speed and gusto.

overthehill

I got on a bus yesterday and a woman with a shopping trolley sat next to me. I know there are more important things in the world than this, but this annoys me. The bus was practically empty, so why sit next to me. She could have gone to the wheelchair bit with her trolley, it was empty with a seat nearby. If that seat was the only one available, then fair enough. Do others have petty grievances?

I’d sit next to you on the bus if you were in the front seat.
I have very restricted movement in my hips so I can’t shuffle sideways into seats. So the other rows are very difficult for me.
You can’t leave your shopping trolley in the wheelchair space. ITS FOR WHEELCHAIRS! and it would fall over.
I’m also very unstable on the tip-up sideways spaces as I’ve fall in the past.
So please let me know what busses you travel on so i never inconvenience you with my presence.

62Granny

LRavenscroft

My mother had a lovely large front garden which she tended with loving care. She had a bench, rockery etc. One day I went outside and there were several German tourists sitting on her bench so I told them politely that this was private land. One lady replied 'You would not mind please if some weary elderly pensioners rested their legs and enjoyed the garden for a few moments'. Couldn't really say anything but felt it was a cheek.

I would probably have ended up offering them a cuppa TBH , just to show some hospitality.

I think my mum would have too. On another occasion she did actually invite some other German tourists to sit on her bench when she was gardening and she gave them tea and cake. They were two elderly ladies and they wrote to her after that for a couple of years.

It's the same at the pictures, you can be in an empty auditorium and someone will come and sit right next to you!

Patsy70

I know exactly how you feel. What about in a car park, where there are loads of spaces and the very large 4x4 parks next to you?

Yes, this drives my husband beserk, especially if they are so close that he can't open the door!

I always talk to old ladies on buses, it embarrasses my daughter and grandchildren. My granddaughter often asks if I know them. It's obvious that they often enjoy a chat and amazing how much I know about them by the time we've had our 15 minute trip.
We moved somewhere new a couple of years ago and I'm very pleased to find that many people here are friendly and speak to me when I'm out, even if we've not met before.

Mogsmaw I was way down the bus next to the exit not near the front at all. Also regarding the wheelchair area once the bus fills up it appears everyone for themselves as rarely do you actually see a wheelchair user and if one gets on, then people do move out the way.

On a fairly recent, long journey by National Express coach, a lady joined the coach and sat next to me.
I was tired and in a reflective mood, due to the circumstances of my journey. At the time I would have preferred to travel in silence, but the lady started a conversation. It soon became apparent that she needed to talk about the recent death of her adult daughter. My heart went out to her, as, four years ago I lost an adult son. I was able to listen to her story and eventually share a little of my bereavement experience with her. There was so much empathy between us. We helped one another. When I reached my destination this lady stood to let me out of my seat. We were face to face in the gangway, looking into each others eyes. Then we hugged, long and close.
I think of her, a stranger, who I'll never see again, but who has a corner in my heart forever.

its normal here to speak to strangers so if someone avoided all the empty seats to sit next to me I'd start a conversation

.It may well be you looked like a safe person to sit beside so thats why she sat there.Maybe sitting in an empty seat would have meant she had a rowdy teen or a drunk beside her or even just someones kids who might be loud when she didn't need loud .
Life's too short to shut others out even when you really want your own ,sometimes a chat with a stranger can be a really good thing

That’s very poignant Aldom.

Not the same, but I have sat next to strangers on a long flight to Australia. Time and again, by the time the journey has finished, we often know quite a bit about each other, though we are destined never to meet again.

Should add if I were to be seated near someone who wasn’t keen to chat, I too would respect that and keep silent.

On a fairly deserted beach in the South West of France with our young children and 2 large families came and sat right in front of us, between us and the sea.
I found it very peculiar and our peace was shattered so we moved.

We are bemused how, sometimes, when we have set our caravan and awning up in a completely empty part of a site, and we're sitting out enjoying the peace with our first glass of wine, when another caravan comes and parks up next to us and their noisy kids start running riot

That would definitely annoy me , I expect she was just lonely and wanted someone to talk too

In Prague people joined our table,made my daughter move up ,then proceeded to smoke.

Well it takes all sorts and on another day they may behave differently. Isn't it grand that we aren't all the same

I had to get an early bus (to catch my train) and those commuters give off an aura of don't you dare speak to me so I don't.
I think the woman with the trolley should have asked you overthehill
But what would you have said?

One morning I looked out and saw about 10 Japanese tourists walking round and admiring my garden.

The herd instinct is still with us! Safety in numbers is the reason. We all belong to the same huge `tribe` now, or so our instinct tells us.

I remember when I was about 20 my friend and I were in a pub in East Grinstead when a 40 ish man began to talk to us. He asked if we would like a go at driving his car so we did.Thinking back that was rather odd wasn't it but we were very naive and no harm was done.

overthehill

Mogsmaw I was way down the bus next to the exit not near the front at all. Also regarding the wheelchair area once the bus fills up it appears everyone for themselves as rarely do you actually see a wheelchair user and if one gets on, then people do move out the way.

I was wanting you to see “it’s not about you” .
People can have lots of reasons for choosing a particular seat and just because you don’t know them that doesn’t mean they are not important. It might not be just bloody mindedness.

I was swimming in a waterhole once and these big eels were swimming in and out round my legs. I was the only one in there but lots of people were watching me and when I got out they commented on the snakes following me around. I had no idea-- just as well! And I just thought they were being nosy ...

I go regularly to aqua aerobics and every woman has her 'spot' woe betide if you should encroach on someone else's!! A deliberate kick during exercise has been known, and some of those women are really scary!

Shantygirly

I go regularly to aqua aerobics and every woman has her 'spot' woe betide if you should encroach on someone else's!! A deliberate kick during exercise has been known, and some of those women are really scary!

That’s the same at our aqua. I always get in quickly to get ‘my’ spot, but if I was in later, I would just accept it.

Really annoying if someone stands too close, you can’t do the exercises properly. Some people are very blinkered, and just hope you will be the one to move.

... and don't get me started on who sits where at choir practice!

Calendargirl

I would feel annoyed if someone sat next to me if there were plenty of other seats available. Completely different if the bus were nearly full.

I don’t think this makes me ‘standoffish’, just don’t want to sit next to strangers if not necessary.

And please, before anyone says ‘A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet’ or similar….

Agreed...

At bus stops, at the checkout or any other places where you have to stand or sit alongside someone then I would always happily chat, but to sit next to me on an empty bus would really annoy me

Alverstone25

Calendargirl

I would feel annoyed if someone sat next to me if there were plenty of other seats available. Completely different if the bus were nearly full.

I don’t think this makes me ‘standoffish’, just don’t want to sit next to strangers if not necessary.

And please, before anyone says ‘A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet’ or similar….

Agreed...

At bus stops, at the checkout or any other places where you have to stand or sit alongside someone then I would always happily chat, but to sit next to me on an empty bus would really annoy me

Well I'm glad I'm not the only one...

I don't believe it has anything to do with not being civil or kind to "strangers" as some on here seem to imply. I think most people will strike up a conversation with strangers when the situation calls for it.

It's about personal space (studies indicate it's 18 inches) the invasion of which by strangers makes us feel uncomfortable. Sometimes - like on a packed underground trains, it's unavoidable and therefore accepted. When I had to travel on the rush hour tube, I would always try to make eye contact with the person who was rammed up against me and give a wry smile to acknowledge the fact that we were both forced to endure the 'intimacy' of close contact.