Am I An Intolerant Victoria Meldrew?

My hairdresser suddenly closed about 3 weeks ago. I had been going there for 25 years. For the last ten years I have only had a dry cut as the junior assistants did the hair washing bit and it was not pleasant.

I also hate water near my ears after I had an ear infection so I understand your concern.

Don't get stressed over this, just go to the appointment with your hair already washed at home as you have done in the past. I am sure your regular hairdresser will understand and perhaps then you can both explain to the person who answered the phone exactly what you meant - give the girl a chance, we all have to learn.

Calendargirl

^As it’s bothering you, I would phone back to clarify^

And if the same person answers the phone….?

Either give them a second chance, ask to talk to someone else or ask for your own hairdresser to give you a call when she can.

Alternatively write a note and drop it in when passing.

Please go ahead with your usual appointment and have a quiet word with your hairdresser about what happened during your call. I had one or two problems at my salon which were very quickly resolved in this way. Please also remember that while it’s frustrating trying to communicate with someone who struggles with their English it’s so much harder for such people to cope on the phone than face to face. I speak French fairly fluently but always struggle on the phone or when there’s a lot of background noise. I admire people who come to our country and learn English. It’s not easy. I think it’s our duty to help them and be understanding. Also vacancies are currently very hard to fill.

If someone at the hairdresser had caused a serious health problem they would have heard from my solicitor by now, and probably settled out of court.

You could have lost your hearing!

As it’s bothering you, I would phone back to clarify

And if the same person answers the phone….?

Doodledog

Theexwife

You are complaining about her understanding of English, so yes I would say you are being intolerant.

Why is it intolerant to expect someone with a customer-facing role to understand English? In the UK?

I agree with you Doodledog whatever country you work in you should have a working knowledge of the language especially if you are the receptionist. How many of us have complained about phoning up a company etc. and been put through to a call centre in Asia where the poor people do not understand us or we them.

Absolutely right Doodledog.

Theexwife

You are complaining about her understanding of English, so yes I would say you are being intolerant.

Why is it intolerant to expect someone with a customer-facing role to understand English? In the UK?

Actually, depending on where my hairdresser is, in my case on the way to the gym where I go regularly, I'd just pop in enroute and have a quick word when its convenient. I'm still up for accepting that someone on the phone might be perfectly capable of making appointments but not something more complex - everyone has to start somewhere - but you could also have asked to speak to someone else when it got difficult? Mind you, thats the sort of thing you think of after its happened "if only I'd"... this or that".

You are complaining about her understanding of English, so yes I would say you are being intolerant.

I agree that you are not being grumpy, but I do think you are catastrophising a bit. Your hairdresser knows the arrangement, and should have no problem in complying with your wishes. So what's the worst that can happen? The salon loses out on ten minutes or so of useful time? Well, in that case it is on them to sort out the situation, as it was caused by their receptionist's poor English. If it matters to them, they will.

It is frustrating to have conversations that go nowhere because of language difficulties, and IMO it is up to employers to ensure that these frustrations are kept to a minimum. It's not being intolerant to expect that a receptionist (or call centre worker, or any customer-facing employee) can communicate effectively. It's nobody's fault, but it doesn't make sense to put someone who has problems communicating in English to be a front-line member of staff.

I think you should be kind to yourself, and maybe have a chat with your hairdresser about it when you see her.

I know I took a tough line above but if I'm honest some things that seem small to others do loom large for me, in which case I'd ask the hairdresser to ring me back in advance so's it wasn't on my mind.

Sounds like something from Curb Your Enthusiasm😁

Just one of life’s annoyances OP, I would just go in as usual for your appointment.

You’re not being intolerant, you’re frustrated.
You made a phone call and expected to convey what you needed done.
The salon is at fault.
If you had been having a face to face with the receptionist this misunderstanding wouldn’t have happened.

As it's bothering you I would phone back to clarify, just for peace of mind.
Can you make next appointment while you are at the salon?

It's not such a big thing that it's worth losing sleep over, but phone back so that it's dealt with.

I like to know what I'm booking for to be honest.
In my case I'd make the appointment and say, "please ask Mandi to call me when she has a moment" (Mandi being my hairdresser).
Then I could remind her of what was usual and she can use the 10 mins hair-washing time for something else. Why not call back if you're bothered? It would save a trip in.

x posts.

Still shrug.

That phrase about taking a thing in one's stride always reminds me of my dad. He was very good at chivvying his students (and his own kids) thus.

So, since you asked, Raven, yes, perhaps you were being too irritated, since your hairdresser probably wouldn't bat an eyelid when you turned up as usual expecting the usual.

But sometimes something new – like not being understood properly – can throw a person off kilter.

Time for a shrug, I reckon 🙂

Hetty58

I never have mine washed because of spine problems. Still, I just make a normal appointment, go - and ask for a spray with water instead.

I fail to see why you'd bother to pop in and 'explain' the day before - so, yes, you're overthinking and making a problem when there isn't one!

The need for me to pop in and explain would be necessary as it is a busy salon and the timings are put out if you do not book in for the correct time allocated. Hence, my gripe with the receptionist. It is not about making a problem where there isn't one. It is about thinking ahead to avoid a grumpy hairdresser and member of staff in trouble.

BlueBelle

Well it’s not the phone lady’s fault is it ? she’s been given a job to do and doing it as best she can
When you go this time tell your hairdresser that in future when you make an appointment it means a dry cut (or a wet cut but with your own washing) or what ever it is you always have, then there won’t be any future misunderstanding. then whoever books you in your usual hairdresser will know when she sees your name that’s what it is

Did anyone actually say that it was the phone lady's fault? The point of my post was as to whether I was being unnecessarily irritated at my age or whether I should just chill and take it in my stride.

Baggs

Callistemon21

MiniMoon

Do you really need a cut and blow dry? Why not a dry trim?
I dispensed with the wash, cut and blow dry a long time ago, and now have a dry trim. Of course I keep my hair very short round the back and sides.

I got told off by a hairdresser once for asking for a dry trim. I'd washed and dried my hair beforehand so it was clean but she grumbled all the way through that I was ruining her scissors, they'd end up being blunt and they'd cost her £100.

Scissors are sharpenable and you'd think someone whose income depended on sharp scissors would know that. Sounds as if she was being a right grump.

She was!
She grumped at my friend for something too so we both found other hairdressers.

Well it’s not the phone lady’s fault is it ? she’s been given a job to do and doing it as best she can
When you go this time tell your hairdresser that in future when you make an appointment it means a dry cut (or a wet cut but with your own washing) or what ever it is you always have, then there won’t be any future misunderstanding. then whoever books you in your usual hairdresser will know when she sees your name that’s what it is

When I got 'dry' trims the hairdresser sprayed water onto my hair. don't they all do that? I assumed dry just meant they didn't wash it not that your hair had to be actually dry.