Food bank rollercoaster. Huge empathy to Fury!! Is it just me?

This reminds me of a situation I found myself in as a single parent years ago.
A friend visited us and he saw that I was eating a smaller meal than I was giving my small children and asked why? Well, at first I tried saying I just wasn't that hungry. But, he knew me better!! He told me if I was struggling I should go to our local Social Services and they'd help me out with groceries.
I felt like I wasn't deserving of this help as my children were still being fed etc.
He tried to coax me, said he'd come with me, but I was very stubborn!
Next day, this friend of mine turned up with 4 or 5 fully loaded shopping bags - oh dear, the memory of it brings me to tears, but it's a good memory - that he had carried all the way from the SS office about 2 or 3 miles to my home as he had no money for bus fares or taxi.
There were some things in I wouldn't use, like coffee as none of us drank it, but he got those items for doing such a lovely thing for us!
I'd just like to add that this same friend, a couple of years afterwards, turned up at my flat one Christmas Eve. He was was living in a hostel/safe house and in our town, as well as in some others, I'm sure, some shops would give food to hostels that was about to go out of sell-by date.
Well, at that time it turned out he had received a Lion King cake from M&S and knowing my 2 would love it, he brought it to them!
At the time, my mother, sister & niece were visiting for Christmas. My daughter had a Lion King outfit to wear on Christmas day, some coincidence!!
My mother thought he was lovely but described him as 'like Wayne Slob from Harry Enfield'. 🤣🤣
This friend was a drug addict, hence being in the hostel, but he put my children and me first (he was also a very good friend to their dad).

Not all who go to food banks are deserving of the charity they provide, but some don't go because we think ourselves unworthy of the help or we'd be embarrassed to ask for the help, but it's there regardless, and I am thankful it is!!

I help to run a food bank. Just on the 'gel nails' argument....you never know what is going on in someone else's family. There is far more domestic abuse & control going on behind closed doors than many people think. So, if the abusive man at home demands that you look a certain way for him, with your nails & makeup etc, or else he will hit you/leave you on your own with the children, it could be that the safest decision for you & the children is just to have your nails done to keep him happy.....

SporeRB

*WhyWhyWhyohWhy
As a family of 4 who can rarely afford to buy fresh fish and meat ourselves but tries to be altruistic*

OP, if it annoys you so much, why don't you quit volunteering and use the time you spend volunteering working part time at a supermarket so that you can buy fresh fish and meat for your family.

Don’t quite understand this need to be altruistic when you are struggling financially yourself.

Agree...OP maybe you would be better placed getting a job that is paid then you would be about to provide fresh food for your family....or if you are entitled to benefits as you say in your OP ....then claim them......so your family doesn't go with out.....all food banks in my necks of the woods ( NW) are by referral....I sign them off in my job role....even the very meedy are only allowed a maximum of 3 in 6 months

Bluebelle a shop is a shop is a shop, even a charity shop, and if you are out on the High Street then you should be prepared to sell your products to whoever comes in and is prepared to pay for them.

If you want to sell some goods cheap to a specific user group then you need to find a way of only offering them for sale in a venue that will target these buyers and exclude the others - in a childrens centre, or nursery, or possibly a Food Bank.

I used to buy toys for my children in charity shops, despite being able to pay full price because I felt they worked out better value for money.

alovelycupofteaa

I help to run a food bank. Just on the 'gel nails' argument....you never know what is going on in someone else's family. There is far more domestic abuse & control going on behind closed doors than many people think. So, if the abusive man at home demands that you look a certain way for him, with your nails & makeup etc, or else he will hit you/leave you on your own with the children, it could be that the safest decision for you & the children is just to have your nails done to keep him happy.....

Good post!

I saw this scenarion, when I was teaching.

Overthemoongran

It may well be a treat or a ‘boost’ but it was still galling to overhear a volunteer at a food bank being asked to load up one lady’s bag for her because she had “just had her nails done”.

It may also have been a friend who did her nails with no charge.
I know my daughter has had nails done by a friend on occasion.

When I was working as a social worker we used to always give out money and food to anyone who asked for it. We knew some were a lot more in need than others and we also found out that some were trading their food vouchers and buying booze instead. What do you do ? We weren’t policemen and if those truly in need benefitted that was ok by us. You are always going to get people taking advantage and that’s just life.

It sounds as though you need a holiday, are you able to take a few weeks off?

Perhaps you need to volunteer in another capacity and possibly somewhere else. There is no point in you getting annoyed or being in a position where you end up judging people that you don't know.

I've had help from the local bank. Its lovely when they give you a few treats as well as basics. I would hate to think that I'm being judged as lacking.

I am sorry that you are in need, vampirequeen, but so glad that you have had a good experience at your foodbank . I hope that all of our clients feel supported not judged and that they receive a warm welcome.

How dare the poor use ground coffee and not just make do with powedered stuff.? They should eat their 'umble pie' and be damn grateful for it.

DD has done my nails and DGD and friends do each others nails. There seems to be a lot of prejudging going on and always assuming the most negative and damning meaning to every phrase.

The above would apply to someone having their hair done,

And how would having your hair done prevent you from loading your bags?

We had a first in our charity shop this week. We had donations from a food bank. General clothing and children’s toys.

It was nails I believe eazybee