hi, my youngest DD always been difficult. she changed as a teenager and escalated from there. Periods of estrangement when she was younger, challenging behaviour, hostile towards DH and I, verbal abuse. She is in our lives but we are not close. She is now pregnant with her 10th child to 8th different man. Current father is younger who again she is not in a relationship with. She is 45. Whilst i am amazed she actually got pregnant at this age i am dreading it. She has not been a great parent to her other children. Concerns around neglect, social services input. Oldest children now adults were left with us for days whilst she disappeared in her 20s. She constantly demanding money, food, childcare etc
Whilst she has settled down from this behaviour, her hostility towards all her family hasn't and verbal abuse we suffered when she was last pregnant 6 years ago was horrendous. As this pregnancy progresses DH and I are concerned she is likely to try to lean on us more but the abuse will escalate then she will disappear again once baby is born. DH and I are now heading towards 80. I am not sure i want to be involved. I don't approve of this pregnancy. Infact i am embarrassed when people mention it. We dont want to have to deal with social services again as we looked after her older children for a while last time. We dont want to left for weeks with a baby and we definately do not want the abuse that comes from her. We have been worn down by it all.
Whilst she is my daughter and i love her, we do not want the drama that comes with her. How can we nicely tell her this time its too much at our age without going down the road of estrangement. We do love and enjoy seeing our grandchildren when we get the occasional opportunity to though the teen and adult ones only visit occasionally over the christmas period. AIBU for feeling this anger towards her and the shame i feel she is inflicting on us. She is 45 no longer 25!
