to be fed up with casual ageism?

I'd have put that in capitals!

Grannynannywanny

I’m waiting for my return appointment at the ophthalmology clinic to check the progress on a macular problem which distorts the vision in my left eye. Some days worse than others.

That appointment can’t come quick enough. I misread the OP as fed up with casual orgasm 😳 🤓

Well we have had equally personal threads on “Your first time” haven’t we?

I always have to ask a tall person to reach something on. (ridiculously high) shelves.
Always say thanks of course.
By coincidence yesterday talking to new neighbour he referred to the ‘old couple’ who lived adjacent to his back garden. I gave him a look (because we are 5 years older than them ) and he looked suitably awkward.
Thing is when we moved here over 30 years ago we were the only youngish couple and now all the old neighbours are gone we are the oldies. Hard to come to terms with.

Yes Nanadana I agree.a thankyou to or from assistant or busdriver or any human for that matter is always nice

I have never been able to reach the top shelf in the supermarket or the overhead locker on planes.

I was carrying a very heavy black sack full of clothing donations to a local charity shop. Seeing I was in difficulty a young man offered to take it for me. I was so grateful as he was so kind. I am always grateful for help, but don’t like being patronised because of my age (68). I have only just stopped working at a fairly responsible job!

I’m waiting for my return appointment at the ophthalmology clinic to check the progress on a macular problem which distorts the vision in my left eye. Some days worse than others.

That appointment can’t come quick enough. I misread the OP as fed up with casual orgasm 😳 🤓

Callistemon21 I agree about the shelf height especially in the chilled section! Also, the grapefruit cartons are always have the remaining few at the back of the top shelf.
Thank heavens for tall customers and shop assistants.

nadateturbe

Of course it's nice to be helped. But getting things from shelves isn't the same as being shown how to use technology because it's assumed you're too old to know.

Asking someone to reach something from a shelf in the supermarket is because I'm short. (But not really short !!)

Delete that - it's because the shelves are too high!

I went to a church knitting group a few weeks ago and the lady leading it was a young mum who went to school with my daughter. She proceeded to speak to me as if I were an 'old dear' (which her mother is!) so, in no uncertain terms, I reminded her of when she first started school with my daughter 30 years ago and how sweet they both were at four. She left me alone after that.

Wouldn’t worry me in the least, I’d just say that’s ok love I can do it!

Yep - my Mum would be celerating her 119th birthday today, dread to think how old my Gran would have been!!!

I am amazined read ing this thread how hard it appears to be fr so many people to be able to accept offers of assistance graciously.

When people offer me any help, or move aside off a narrow pavement when I am out with my mobility scooter, or come over to me when I stand in front of a machine, I always ensure that I really let them know my gratitude. Whether I actually needed their help or not.

Do not see it as casual ageism, but as people genuinely wishing to help others.

I have a very embarrassed memory of insisting on going to the supermarket with my parents for the couple of weeks after the currency changed in the early 70's. Tv ads. kept telling us to assist older people with this change - I found my parents very unappreciative of my help - looking back I now realise they would only have been in the late 60's at the time - my Dad still working and both totally mentally alert!!!

Of course it's nice to be helped. But getting things from shelves isn't the same as being shown how to use technology because it's assumed you're too old to know.

There are so many isms. I wish some people would think before they speak. We know a young man who has lost all his hair and is very sensitive about it. Recently he went into a pub on a wild and windy day. Someone said to him 'At least it didn't mess your hair up. Ha ha ha.' How b****y insensitive and cruel.

If I am offered a helping hand at the till or elsewhere, I accept with thanks and a smile, reflecting that I hope I was as polite when I was younger. I often need help getting items down from a high self when there is no store assistant around, but nearly always another, taller customer will reach it for me. I hope my thanks and smile will make sure that they will always offer help when needed.

V3ra

^...you need to think twice about asking your gran to walk up it.'^

If the speaker was addressing an audience most of whom were over retirement age, I'd say they would probably think twice about taking their gran anywhere 🤣🤣

😂😂😂

My Grans would be about 148 now.

Merylstreep, ASDA are magic. They come and sort out your problem at the self service before you even know you have one. Just a bit worried about their Sweet Sprouts though, creepy and a creepy taste.

...you need to think twice about asking your gran to walk up it.'

If the speaker was addressing an audience most of whom were over retirement age, I'd say they would probably think twice about taking their gran anywhere 🤣🤣

GSM of course it was, apart from anything else most of the audience were over retirement age.

Casual ageism at the till, is a no win situation. If there’s no one there to help when we get stuck, we are not happy about it. If unwanted help is offered, we’re not happy about it.
All the same it’s like the unconscious bias on another thread and it implies that old people, or young mums with children, or people with a disability can’t manage without help.
Saying I’m OK thanks, politely means they won’t be worried about offering help to the next person, who might need it.

Baggs

I also still think that someone doing one of the most boring and unrewarding jobs in the world ("hovering assistant") needs to be given some slack. A lot of slack in fact.

Knowing their job are in peril.

Was that really necessary?

two weeks ago I was at the AGM of a group I belong to. The key speaker was someone from an environmental group talking about walking the local National Path.

At one point she casually said something to the effect that 'you need to think twice about asking your gran to walk up it.'

After the meeting during the tea and cakes. I walked up to her and told her politely that using phrases like that was ageist, and mainly untrue as 'grans' run from 40 to 100+ and have levels of fitness, at all those ages that make the walk impossible, or a merely a casual stroll. I think I might have used the words 'unconscious bias'

The thing is, it was a quiet private talk, no embarrassment and no showing up, but this speaker will think more carefully about her style of speaking in the future. As they say: Job done..

And "Do you realise how ageist that is?"

All we strong, capable old people can fight (metaphorically) for ourselves, can't we? And for the next generation of old people.

Or just bloody turn round and ask them to go away because you can manage fine, thank you!