Very sorry for your loss
1. Please do look at grief therapy- it makes all the difference
2. Your mother's wish to honour your father is hers and hers only
You may want to assist her only if you feel capable and it helps you - that's a vibe I definitely do not read in your posts
If you are not able to do so, don't feel guilty and tell her no - it is your right to take care of yourself.
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