Being bullied by kindness (bullying)

Could you have a (gentle) word with your daughter, and ask her to break it to him? It's very nice of him, but it would get on my nerves, too.

Stick up for yourself and tell him you appreciate his hard work but you would prefer things done differently

And don’t be surprised if future offers of help are withdrawn.

Hithere isn't on this thread

That must be so frustrating FranA and I think you need to tell him how you feel.

I agree it is a type of bullying because it is controlling... people offering help should give the help that is needed not the help they have decided for you

Stick up for yourself and tell him you appreciate his hard work but you would prefer things done differently..

Bullying?!
It’s called helping out and it’s what families do.

You have a strange idea of bullying Hithere
He might be behaving like a bull in a china shop by not asking what you want but he thinks he’s helping so his intentions are good You just have to be clearer about what you DONT want doing and praising about the jobs that he’s really being helpful with

Heavens! The poor bloke is only trying to help. Would you prefer he completely ignored the fact your DH can no longer do as much? Of course it’s not bullying.

He’s family so all you need to do is kindly but firmly let him know where you need help and where you don’t.

My son in law does loads for me and I count my blessings.

H come on, it isn't bullying. Bullying is doing something with intent to hurt, and doing it repeatedly.
Surely you can sit with him and give him some jobs that are necessary and helpful so he knows he is being helpful?

(and yes, it is bullying - and downright rude too)

I do hate it when people take over and do things without being asked - or checking with me first.

Could you maybe employ a gardener, perhaps monthly, and insist it's his (or her) job?

Maybe you could tell a little white lie about being reported and warned for cutting the verge?