Wanting the house to myself

It's not unreasonable to want the house to yourself occasionally. I love when my husband goes out for the day (not very often). It is such a treat to have what I want to eat - and when - tv off or on, etc. Retirement can cause bit too much togetherness sometimes. I'm always pleased to see him back though. I know it may not be such a treat when it is unlimited.

I agree with you there Nannarose. There was a time before my middle son moved out when he was at uni, and then when he left to live in England, that I thought my family wasn’t whole unless we were all under one roof, and it’s taken me a while to accept that kids are meant to fly the nest and make lives of their own. Given the choice, I’d love to have frozen time when my boys, dogs, cats etc, were all young enough to be here for me to look after in a full and busy house, but that’s a different thing to yearning for the hush of knowing I have the place to myself, just for a while.

Exactly how I feel rockgran 😊

I like the house to myself sometimes as well RicePudding613794 however my husband is in UK for 10 days and we are in the middle of a heatwave here. I'm finding it so tiring walking the dogs, looking after the animals and trying to do my chores. I am looking forward to him coming home to share the load.

I’d be lost without my husband too, as he does so much to help around the house, and like you, I enjoy having company while walking our dogs etc. I’d hate to be on my own, but the occasional hour or two home alone would be nice 😂

RicePudding, I know exactly what you mean! As much as we love the business of our families around us, and are grateful to have such a life, once in a while silence is golden.

My DH is retired while I still work, but he can be busy for hours outside. Sunday afternoons tend to be my quiet time. My chores are done, house it tidy, roast in the oven. I can read a book, take a nap or do as I please; it's a bit of heaven.

Maybe you need a dedicated 'everyone scarper off' afternoon once in a while. Can all the men go watch sport somewhere on the weekend? Send them off for a nice 18 holes of golf, or a very long cricket match somewhere.

busyness, not business!

When I was working full time, with children at home, I used to crave solitude. No peaceful times in an empty house for me! I also longed for some time for just DH and me.
Be careful what you wish for! Now a widow, it has been such a pleasure to have DGS aged 20 staying while he did work experience.

My children went off to uni and only come back for short stays. I love to see them and I am also quite pleased to see them go back to their own lives. OH used to work abroad on a regular basis, just 2 or 3 weeks but I loved it. I was always very pleased to welcome him home but whilst he was away, I just did whatever I wanted and by the time I was really missing him, he was home again. So, yes, I understand completely. We're both retired now, get on well and its a happy home but when he says he's out for the day, I quietly say "hoorah" and I suspect he says the same when I'm out. I think its quite a healthy thing.

crazyH

‘Welcoming party at the front door ‘ - I love that - it reminded me of the time when my children were young . Whenever I returned from shopping, there would be a ‘welcoming party’ of 3, ready to see what I had brought back for them - now, my GC do it, when I visit them ❤️

This made me laugh, I remember those days. By the time I'd brought in the first bags of shopping from the car, the two of them had found the crisps and were happily parked up on the sofa watching TV!.

I couldn’t live like that, I really value alone time and having things the same as how I left them. I don't like constant conversation or having to take other people's needs and wants into consideration.

I have probably become rather selfish having lived alone for seven years but I love it and wouldn’t even want to share a bathroom with other people.

I have the place to myself most of the time - and I love it. I thought I'd miss the kids when they went - but no. I am glad to see them when they visit. I like having guests (short term), enjoy looking after the grandkids - just occasionally (a bit more often in the holidays). Still, I'm relieved when they all go home.

I'm sure that my SiL likes time alone too. She is forever enrolling my brother on short courses (upholstery, history, creative writing, French etc.) since he retired. She says he really needs the company and mental stimulation. Yeah, right!

I don't know what you're complaining about. Am I being obtuse?
You'll have the place to yourself soon enough and then what?
Can't you wander off to a park or somewhere if you need peace and quiet. A graveyard perhaps?

Wow…Grammaretto…not sure if ‘obtuse’ is quite the word I would use!
There was I, enjoying the, (mainly lighthearted), responses to my little question about whether it was unreasonable to desire an hour or two of peace and quiet, by myself, in my normally very busy and noisy home.
If you read all my comments, you would have seen that I have spent, and still do spend a lot of time looking after my family, which includes two dogs and three cats, along with my husband and sons, and I have said that I have a very nice life.
I ‘wander off to a park’ every day, as I walk my dogs in my local one, often with my husband when he’s not working, and sometimes my sons will come along too. Whilst I have always found graveyards quite fascinating places, I find your barbed comment about me ‘having the place to myself soon enough’, and suggestion that I visit a graveyard, quite offensive…I do happen to visit a graveyard occasionally, as both my parents ended up there, much earlier than they should have done, so I know the value of making the most of life and enjoying it to the full.

It wasn't meant to offend rice pudding but as someone who used to have a house full of people and am now widowed and live alone, I am aware that life is transient.
The graveyard reference wasn't sinister. I find these places very peaceful.

RicePudding I have the same problem. My DH started working from home during Covid and likes it so much he still works at home and my adult daughter lives with us as well. I have always worked from home was used to and love some solitary space. This is what works for me, I make a thermos of tea, grab some books, my journal, if I am feeling creative some drawing stuff. Then I head off to the local park by the water, I go for a walk then I sit in the car. I read, I think, I write and also pray, sometimes for hours. Just a suggestion, I would prefer to be pottering at home but since I have started doing this and not having time alone expectations I don’t feel any any way resentful of the situation.

It's a rule of Feng Shui that the lavatory sear must be kept down
And if it's not put down before flshing, spray full of germs could spread around the area.

ninestepstofengshui.com/blog/2015/12/07/why-the-toilet-lid-must-be-put-down-every-single-time/

It is very dispiriting to vacuum a floor then look 15 minutes later to see that, out of seemingly nowhere, there are bits and crumbs all over it again!

I'd join some groups and go out, RicePudding613794

I have this hanging in my loo!

I have the opposite problem now theve all gone, but I understand that wish just to have time think and just be, you wouldn't change them for the world but it's not about that. Could you just have a few hours to yourself away from home, a coffee some where reading the newspaper, people watching in the park with a sandwich, I used to go for a very long walk, I took in the scenery and thought my thoughts.

I need to have alone time although, when I was completely alone for a couple of years when my kids and my husband all grew up and left home I was terribly lonely at weekends when I wasn’t working. I had the house to myself the other week when my partner had our dog for several days ( we both have our own houses and share a dog but he seems to spend most of his time sat on my sofa watching tv) while I worked on my house and realised how much I needed that quietness: it’s as if it gave my brain space to think properly. I’m currently reading The Woman Who Went to Bed for a Year which I can relate to….I’ve often thought how lovely it would be to have a caravan in the garden that I could live in. There would be far less tidying up to do.

Sympathy, Ricepudding! I would love more time on my own in our house… sometimes I have to go out just to be able to have time on my own. Having time to oneself in the house is a different sort of freedom though… Would I be accused of being sexist if I said I think men don’t understand this need?? Especially in retirement…?
Btw, I am well aware re the future and the possibility of having to be on my own permanently.
Good luck with finding more ‘space’…

^ if it's not put down before flushing, spray full of germs could spread around the area.^
Not just could but will

youtu.be/elieorX7eKo?feature=shared

I'm particularly concerned about this in places with the WC in the bathroom rather than its own space.
I particularly hate to see "exposed" toothbrushes...

Ricepudding, I totally understand, and agree with you. I retired early, whilst DH is still working. The kids are now grown and flown the nest, so I have the house to myself most days, and I absolutely love it, it's BLISS! Some of my friends are always busy, and feel the need to be out and about, constantly finding things to do, places to go, and I swear they think I'm 'Billy-no-mates' because I love spending time at home! Don't get wrong, I'm no recluse, and I do enjoy socialising when it suits me, but I don't feel the need to be out of the house all the time, I simply love my own space and company, when it suits me. The family visit often, and I regularly have the GCs around, and I love spending time with them, but how I love it when they leave me in peace again!

The toilet seat never bothered me, at least they put it up!
The mess and cleaning around having grown up children at home is par for the course. Mine behaved themselves reasonably and I accepted the work, it was when they all left home that affected me I felt lost

I totally get you! I had my son living with us again after 12 yrs. We wanted to support him til he got back on his feet after marriage break up and relocating back to where all our family are.
On the whole he was fine but as you say little things like toilet seat being left up, bin and waste recycling full with things he'd put in on top instead of emptying. Having to knock on his door to make sure he was up for work though stopped that. Sometimes I almost felt like being propelled back to feeling like the mum of a teenager again.
I think the hardest bit was not having complete freedom of our house that hubby and I were used to.
After 18 months he's now got his own house and moved out. I'm just glad we were able to give him a stepping stone to getting his life back on track.