Wanting the house to myself

I know exactly what you mean. Mr A and I spend a lot of time together since he retired and we get on very well (most of the time). But I miss being able to suddenly decide to bake a cake without someone appearing and saying over my shoulder 'Ooooh. What are you making? Shall I mix that? Why are you putting that in? Shouldn't it have XXX ?'

Every couple of weeks he goes for a long walk with some friends who walk some big dogs and they sometimes call in for a pint on their way home, so he can be out for four or five hours. Sheer bliss to be able to wander around the house doing odd jobs, or get on with some sewing or decorating without being interrogated first 😉

I actually dislike anyone else being in my house unless I invite them. And even then its a case of "welcome the coming, speed the parting guest". I dont feel like the place is my own with someone else around.

I totally understand and feel the same. For me it just means that I can do what I choose while no one will interrupt me. I don’t need to hear or even imagine someone is calling me.

I have a toilet seat which ‘gently’ closes itself. You used to be able to buy them, not too expensively, at Wilco, but there must be other outlets that sell them not Wilco is no more

I get it 100%. Plus I miss the newly hoovered carpet or the freshly cleaned worktops. As a younger “housewife” I would clean up then pop back into the rooms just to look at them all neat and tidy. Now tragic circumstances mean I have a houseful for the forseeable future. Its working just fine but I love the brief periods I am truly home alone .

All l can say is Be careful what you wish for.

Oh I love it when I have the house to myself.
I fully understand how you feel as I have experienced the same feeling. There is nothing wrong with feeling like this.
Some people need the empty house to reset and charge up, others need the house full to do that. Nothing wrong with either way.

Hubby had to sleep in the living room for a few days after the rescue dogs surgery. I enjoyed having the bed and bedroom for myself even when feeling slightly guilty that he is uncomfortable on the sofa. But there was more enjoyment than guilty feeling lol.

I get it. Totally. My children - all grown and moved out a long time ago.
My partner is Australian and came over to live about 9 years ago. Problem is... she hasnt made any friends and hasnt got any interests outside the house which means she doesnt go anywhere without me. which in turn means I never ever get the house to myself. Ever.
I do have a room in the house that is just mine - it has my indoor bike trainer and yoga mat etc.. but its not really the same.

DamaskRose…
‘I love having the house to myself, I don’t want to go out to be alone I want to be at home.’
What a great way to put it…my feelings exactly! I try not to think about the last part of your comment too much though, but I also would be lost without my husband and family around me 😕

biglouis…I have often said that the only way to have a clean and tidy house, is to never have children or pets, but after eight cats, two dogs, and three children along with their many friends coming and going over the years, I think I made my choices long ago, and certainly wouldn’t change a thing…for me a house is not a home without all of that! Doesn’t mean I shouldn’t relish an hour or two in a quiet house the odd time it happens, which was what my original post was about, and nothing to do with a tidy house issue, other than the annoying toilet seat niggle!

NotSpaghetti

^ if it's not put down before flushing, spray full of germs could spread around the area.^
Not just could but will

youtu.be/elieorX7eKo?feature=shared

I'm particularly concerned about this in places with the WC in the bathroom rather than its own space.
I particularly hate to see "exposed" toothbrushes...

Just this! My DH has never, in nearly 50 years, left the seat or lid up. Neither did my DS - till he left home!!! Now his own gets left up and so does mine when he visits! I wish I could explain that!
I love having the house to myself, I don’t want to go out to be alone I want to be at home. But, full disclosure, I am dreading DH dying first. I shall be lost …

Nannarose

It may be a bit of a side issue, but please will someone explain the big deal about putting toilet seats down? IF you are worried about bacteria 'swirl' then lid should be down when you flush.
However, if not, why on earth does it matter? If the seat is up, I put it down; if it's down DH lifts it up. Either way, someone needs to change it.
I seem to have only heard it in the last few years, and simply don't get it!
And OP - yes, I do understand what you are saying!

It’s seen by some as male dominant behaviour to leave the seat up!!
Both sexes use it down only men use it up.

But if we’re talking manners maybe women should put the seat up when they have finished! 😂

The only way to have a quiet and tidy house is to be child free. If you make the decision to bring more people into the world then you must accept that they will be under your feet and making a mess until at least 18 and often after that.

Gwan1…yes, to hoover and clean and it to stay pristine for a few hours is a dream, although I have to say a lot of my hoovering is because of my dogs and cats, so they’re always here!
I can imagine how precious any time you get to yourself must be xx

Oh Cossy…I could have written your post myself…it’s the synchronisation of everyone being out at the same time that is bliss when it happens, so I sympathise!
Funnily enough, I am actually home alone this morning, as husband has gone into the office, youngest son is on placement, and oldest son has gone off out somewhere in his car…there’s just a different feeling in the house when there’s only me here 😊

greenlady102…as mentioned before in my posts/comments, the cleaning and tidying is not an issue, as my husband and sons are pretty good at it, but it seems in a household of men, particularly my husband, the toilet seat issue is a losing battle and I’m not going to become a complete nag over it. My husband works very hard, in spite of perhaps rolling around to being semi-retired by this time next year, and I know he is often preoccupied when he takes a break when working from home, so he genuinely just doesn’t think. As some have said in the comments, it’s just not an issue for them, so maybe I have to just be resigned to putting the seat down every time and not let it annoy me so much…god knows, after 30+ years, I guess I should be used to it 😂

Absolutely feel your pain and it’s not in any way unreasonable ! Same situation, newly retired, last year, husband retired plus three adult children, whom I adore, living here still plus daughters three mini sausage dogs and our spaniel. I live for the days husband visits his mother (3 short mornings a week), when this coincides with all children being at work I LOVE it, sadly my son works shifts, my daughter is a teacher, so only second daughter does 9-5 every weekday.

I dream about living somewhere in the middle of nowhere with just myself and my dog 😂😂😂😂

To be home alone is my dream! I am full time carer for over 20 years and although I get a bit of time out of the house I just want the house to myself,just to hoover and clean in peace would be wonderful!

Ha…lizzypopbottle…I live in hope lol!

Leaving the toilet seat and lid up and then flushing is bad news. When the toilet is flushed, a fine, invisible mist of water containing particles of faecal matter is carried through the air to land on taps, towels and....wait for it.....your toothbrushes (if they are left out). We keep our toothbrushes in a bathroom cupboard but we also, always close the lid. RicePudding if you Google 'toilet flush spreads germs' there's plenty of info out there. Perhaps you could tell your family of men how shocked you were when you saw these articles and show them. It might result in them putting their toothbrushes in a cupboard but, you never know, it might convince them to shut the toilet lid!

Oh I sooo understand! Autistic son is little problem, divorced son is problem half the time, retired husband sitting around looking vacant while I work and tidy up after him pretty much ALL the time - well!

Germanshepherdsmum

Your children should be doing their fair share towards keeping the house clean and tidy. And grown men should be told firmly to put the seat down - I have never once had that problem with my husband or my son. If you keep running around after them they’ll just carry on letting you do so.

This absolutely. Set some rules for goodness sake!

Love that Franbern!
Have to say one of my guilty pleasures in an empty house, is running from bathroom to bedroom to let my body lotion dry, absolutely starkers, which I would never do in front of all my boys! Dogs and cats don’t mind the shocking sight though 😂

I had quite a big family and also fostered, so for over two decades there was always a youngster or two back home, when all the others were off to school, college, etc.

I can so well remember that wonderful day, when the last of my fosterlings started nursery, and I came back to a totally empty house (except for the dog, two cats, etc). Only had an hour and a half before I had to go out to collect him, BUT
I stood in my hallway, jumping up and down with sheer delight of having the house (messy as is was),entirely to myself.

I’ve loved reading all your replies and have been encouraged to see that so many understand. Nansnet and Woollywoman are right on the money in understanding my feelings!
It’s not a case of getting time to myself by ‘escaping’ my home…I have never wanted or felt the need to ‘escape’, as I already get out a lot, between walking my dogs, meeting with friends, going to yoga classes etc…none of these are the same thing at all!
I am a real home bird, and don’t even feel the need to go away on holidays, particularly with all my animals to think about. I have always loved my home, been very happy to potter about there, and always find plenty to keep me busy, and I have loved having my family around me. In fact, when my second son flew the nest for the first time, it almost killed me…my heart actually hurt with the loss, and it took a long time to adjust to him not being close by. Now I see him often, even though he’s a short flight away. He has just bought a house with his lovely girlfriend who loves to visit us too, but each time they are ‘home’, I realise more and more that he has his own life with her now, which is how it’s meant to be I guess, and I’m very happy for them. I love the anticipation of them coming to stay, but I also am ready, as are they, for when they leave again…it’s just a different dynamic now. I suppose I wish the same for my oldest son, but there is no sign of him flying the nest…youngest is still studying, and is on placements, so he comes and goes. I guess it’s hard to balance the longing for a house full of noise and family, against the craving for that quiet feeling of having the place to yourself for a while…it is, as so many have said, ‘bliss’. Thank you to those who get what my post was about 🤍🤍