Am I wrong to think this is rude ?

Baggs

Gangan2

I think this is my way forward, I am also switching off the outside light when it starts .

Or you could get more lights, ones that shine into their eyes and dazzle them 😜

Yes, now I am just being wicked 😈 😁

😂 YES. And also add some noisy wind chimes at either side of your back wall. 😈

I think the answer is simple really. Roller blinds for windows and door plus a beaded curtain for door so you still have privacy when it's warm and you want your door open. The curtain stops flying pests too.

Gangan2

I think this is my way forward, I am also switching off the outside light when it starts .

Or you could get more lights, ones that shine into their eyes and dazzle them 😜

Yes, now I am just being wicked 😈 😁

I have a variation of the situation.
Trampolines both sides right by the fences. The children shout and call very loudly across my garden to one another.

Gangan2 stick with your dressing gown, nothing wrong with that.

I'm lucky - or maybe unlucky, depending on your point if view - to live down a long drive in the middle of the countryside with no neighbours within a quarter of a mile. What you describe sounds horrendous, quite unthinkable, I'd hate it!

I think this is my way forward, I am also switching off the outside light when it starts .

The first thing we did when we moved into our current house was to replace the falling down fence between our house and next door. Our neighbours are absolutely lovely but we didn’t want a communal garden! On the other side we just planted shrubs because that’s what we wanted to do. But we do try to make sure said shrubs don’t cause work for our elderly neighbours. We put film on the conservatory windows that look onto theirs which means we both get privacy. We’re detached so there is too much space for neighbours to chat to each other without bellowing!

PS You’re not a grump ! I’d hate it xx

I live in a terraced house and have done for the past 30+ years, but maybe we have larger gardens and we certainly have larger fences! Which is a good thing as most of us own dogs ! My own neighbours each side occasionally pop their heads over the fence and say hello, not often, as it makes our dogs bark, but they’ve never had full on conversations with each other across our garden and whilst I don’t think it’s rude I do think it’s odd and an invasion of privacy ! No advice on what to do, BUT I’d open my door, windows etc whenever I want to, put my radio on louder and dress how I like !

merlotgran, well, I do trim the plants - but there is trellis with artificial greenery - or maybe screening with no plants?

If I were Gangan 2 - I'd have several pergolas, a nice long walkway!

And a not so nice load of maintenance! 😂

Yorklass23, I wouldn't confront them about it - as they've probably done it for ages and would just think it 'uppity' if there were comments.

I don't have that problem here, yet, still, I have a lovely rose pergola outside my back door. It's 2.5 metres high, clad with trellis and covered in climbers. I can sit outside in my PJs or vest and shorts - and nobody can see me. My security light is beyond it.

If I were Gangan 2 - I'd have several pergolas, a nice long walkway!

If they are such good friends, why don't they simply walk to around to each others' house?

You could just tell them how you feel. Are you afraid to offend, I wonder. If you know a smart lad who could install a sensing device; whenever they get at it, either a light goes on, or they get weird sounds. This might sound really silly, but how asking, " have you 2 always had long chats across my yard/garden, I wonder, or did it all start during COVID? This could be a subtle hint, even a deterrent.

Definitely a fence or blind. I’d put one up anyway even if this didn’t happen because I really value my privacy. We bought our house because you can’t see any neighbours at all. Trees, trees and more trees !

It will stop now it’s dark and cold and wet!

I think this is rude, but its probably accidental. We used to be on chatting over the fence terms with our neighbour, but wouldnt have invited her round, just as she didnt invite us. We wanted to be friendly, but were not actual friends. She was immediately next door. I personally wouldnt shout across a garden, or if I did I would include the intermediary neighbour in the conversation, otherwise its just rude in my opinion. I would put up a fence or trellis, but I would explain to the neighbours first that I was doing it to have beautiful scented climbers near the house and politely but firmly say that I hope that they can still have nice chats further down the garden.

Trellis and climbing roses inside the fence near the back of your house

Switch off outside light.

I would say nothing in the hope that it may fizzle out, especially as the nights are drawing in. I find this behaviour ignorant but your neighbours have no intention of upsetting you, they just lack awareness. As others have said, put nets, blinds, anything up. Plant laurel bushes along the fence, as you 'just love a bit of greenery.'

The fact that you sometimes you join in the conversations, day or night, it does not matter, to them translates into the idea that you are all right with it. You can't eat your cake and have it, picking and choosing what time they are allowed to be, literally and figuratively, in your field of vision. You can get film that allows you to see out, but people can't see in. I am thinking that the floodlights actually encourage them to converse, since they won't be 'in the dark'.

Dinahmo

I quite understand why you don't want your neighbours chatting across your garden but if you follow some of the suggestions you run the risk of alienating your neighbours. That would be a shame as they are friendly. It's very easy to turn people off!

Especially people who are too stupid to realise when they are bothering someone else in that someone else's own space!

Why can't they chat in each other's houses, taking turns? ---- Because that would mean thinking about someone else.

I've no patience with this kind of utter thoughtlessness.

However, I do understand the OP's conundrum. Hope you can do something over the winter, OP, that might help curtail the annoyance without their realising you're a bit pissed off.

Why not invest in a day/night blind, there not expensive but let in light but keep prying eyes out.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202310/medium-348840-post-extenders.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202310/medium-719816-zebra-blinds.jpg

JdotJ

Could you perhaps have a radio on, slightly louder than usual so they find it a problem hearing each other over the fences ?

This is an easy option. Put the radio on the kitchen windowsill with the window open.

We had a similar issue and raised the height of the fence with trellis. You can buy metal extenders which are easy to fit. You then slot trellis panels into them.

Or you could get a large planter and put a fast growing shrub in it.

Have you thought about day and night blinds (zebra blinds).

I quite understand why you don't want your neighbours chatting across your garden but if you follow some of the suggestions you run the risk of alienating your neighbours. That would be a shame as they are friendly. It's very easy to turn people off!

Could you perhaps have a radio on, slightly louder than usual so they find it a problem hearing each other over the fences ?