Shoes off

I don't ask anyone to take off shoes unless they are obviously dirty from being outside in bad weather. I do have a mat at the door, and ask them to wipe their feet, no-one objects

I never ask people to remove shoes. I have a vacuum cleaner and a mop, and doormats at outside doors.

I find it exasperating when I go to people's houses in groups (eg book club meetings) and we are asked to take our shoes off. It's not so bad when people are arriving one at a time, but when the meeting finishes there are a dozen or so 'older ladies' all bending over in a cramped hall, trying to lace up winter boots without falling over.

As others have said, if people have mud (or worse) on their shoes then of course they should remove them, but on the whole, after walking on a pavement and wiping feet on a doormat there seems to me really no need to take them off.

I think the OPs problem was not taking shoes on and off , but the lack of a seat to help the procedure !

Like Bella23 taking shoes off when visiting, wasn’t a common practice in my recollection, but we did change to slippers indoors at home. Like others, I had designated indoor and outdoor shoes at my very particular school. DD2 and her DH often slip their shoes off here, but they’ve usually called after a woodland walk. I keep slippers at their house, as they take their shoes off and use slippers indoors, as does DD2’s family. However, when DD2 became a wheelchair user, we bought her a spare chair for indoors, so she didn’t roll ‘God knows what’ from her wheels around the house. Later, we ripped the carpets up and replaced them with wood.
Tradespeople seem to take their shoes off as a matter of course, even if invited to keep them on.
I do have a monks bench to sit on in my hall, which comes in handy.

My family all take their shoes off when they visit and we do likewise when we visit them. I always take my slippers with me when visiting someone else’s house.
And like whiff I always use a coaster both at home and when visiting and I expect others to do so when visiting me.

I prefer people to remove outdoor shoes but do not ask them to do so, family do it automatically.
Grandchildren always sat or played on the floor so I didn't want them coming in contact where shoes had been.

It’s normal behaviour now and seen as a courtesy. I do have a hall chair but it’s hardly ever used by guests but we find it handy.

We have a chair in our hall so that anyone wishing to take off their shoes may do so although I don't ask them to.
Whenever I visit someone else's house I always take my slipper with me, just in case I'm asked to take off my shoes.

Nope, never been asked to take my shoes off and I wouldn't dream of asking a visitor to my home to take off their shoes either. However, I wouldn't expect to walk into anyone's home in wellingtons or walking boots so would either not call in or I'd have my boots off before they could stop me and I only go with the dog to those homes where I know he is welcome. We are country folk, most of my local friends are very relaxed about their homes, they have cats and dogs running in and out, chickens in the garden and often a pony or two in a field next to the house. Two of my friends have free ranging goats, who are hilarious. These are not the homes for cream carpets and precious fabrics! My city/town friends tend to have much smarter homes but I've never been asked to remove my shoes, it would seem extremely rude to me, however, when we stay with friends I always have a pair of shoes usually ballerina flats, never slippers to wear indoors. We never wear slippers except in our own home when we are on our own, never ever when there are visitors and I've never seen any of my relations in slippers either!

It’s rare to be asked directly to take shoes off but it’s increasingly expected by many, apart from those in the country, often with dogs (and other pets ) who seem less bothered.

Oh for a hall big enough for a chair! Mr C says the thing he misses the most living in a bungalow is sitting on the stairs to deal with his shoes. .

We would never ask people to remove shoes when they arrive. Most do though. As a family we do in our own and each other’s homes. We take soft indoor shoes to change into if we’ll be there for more than an hour, the family don’t bother and apparently don’t suffer from frozen feet.

Experience with friends varies from one who keeps those slidey over covers for anyone crossing the threshold (not optional!) to another who is horrified at any suggestion of shoe removal, no matter how grubby the shoe. We just go with the flow when visiting.

I am from working class stock. My nan and grandad had lino and homemade rugs out from old fabric . We always took our slippers those family members who didn't went in stocken feet. Both my parents worked on factory floors took a lot for them to save up and buy the best carpet they could afford. Taking shoes off was the rule in my large extended family. My parents where both born in 1927. And both had done it all their lives.

My husband's parents where well off but it was shoes off in their home . They came from work class stock but my father in law became management.

From the first page seemed if I was commenting some crime thankfully this page other shoes off posters.

The dogs that have been in my home their owners always brought a towel to wipe their feet and tummy just as they do at their own houses also they are shoes off in their own homes.

When you have had to save all your life as my parents and I have you buy the best you can and look after it. Most of my furniture is 30 +years old . Only thing that brought new was mattresses every 10 years. And when I moved to my bungalow I brought a few bits of new furniture. The double bed ,mattress ,bedside table and new bedding was brought with the proceeds of selling my few bits of gold and silver jewellery.

All this who ha about shoes good job no one mentioned smoking or vaping in people's home or getting drunk.

I visit many people’s homes in my job and I always ask whether I should remove my shoes. Yes it feels a little awkward conducting interviews and assessment sessions without shoes but I’m used to it now, as long as I make sure I am wearing socks (without holes!) even in summer.

I wouldn’t dream of asking anyone to remove their shoes when they visit me but I appreciate it when they ask, as I do the same with friends. It just feels respectful. With family, we always remove our shoes and either take or keep slippers at their homes.

I don't expect anyone to remove their shoes when they come here. The carpets are old.
But I do remove my shoes when I visit my neighbour because all his carpets are pale and beautiful. I agree, a seat would be useful, especially when putting shoes back on again. I have to lean against the wall and hope for the best.

Whiff I think you’re right, I think there is a class element to this. I have found (in my limited experience!) that the truly upper classes don’t care about shoes, muddy riding boots, wet dogs and even the odd pony coming into their homes. My working class family were fiercely proud of what they had, however old and shabby, and their homes were spotless (sadly I do not live up to their standards).

Aveline

Having to take shoes off in someone's house was literally never done when I was younger. It seems like a very new thing to me.
I'm not alone either. A new neighbour invited us all for a drinks party. Person after person was stopped at the door and told to remove their shoes. There was consternation! Elderly people standing around in stockinged feet were most unhappy. It completely spoilt an otherwise kind invitation. We all live in the same block of flats. Nobody had muddy feet or dirty shoes at all.

Same here. Never a ‘thing’ at all.
And I still don’t expect people to take shoes off, unless of course they’re very wet or muddy, in which case 99.9% of people don’t need to be asked anyway.
(The fact that our carpets are ancient has nothing to do with it.)

Yes always shoes off in my home and local friends homes. but I would obviously provide a chair if someone needed one. All trades do it as a matter of course. However when I visit friends living in the country it is different as they often have stone floors..

I think that if you have that rule, you should warn people, especially before a party / meeting of some kind.
I need a raise in one shoe. If asked to take my shoes off, I must then really sit - I can walk to a chair, but not stand for any length of time, or move easily about in a room.
I have a pair of shoe covers in my car that I can put on if need be - but yes, I need to sit in order to do so. Interestingly, my Muslim friends are sympathetic and are OK with me wiping my shoes carefully.
And in response as to how common this used to be - certainly most househilds when I was growing up had 2 door mats - outside and inside for wiping shoes. Only work boots / wellies / hiking boots were taken off.

I also think that an 'everyday' rule of no shoes should probably be suspended for a party - for the reasons given. You have to clean up anyway!

PS: nightowl - wouldn't shoe covers be easier? I used them during my work life (before i had this arthritis and uneven gait problem)

Once we had wood to replace our downstairs carpets, DH would wander in, usually in some form of Barbour boot, straight from the kennels or wherever! His reasoning for not removing them was that he’d be heading out again after a cuppa and toilet break! His motto was that the hard floors were easy to clean - however, that was my job!

This is an old stream rejigged with some answers missing out . On my screen, I have no comments that I made, and GG is repeated at least twice as are others.
I did not take my shoes off at home and neither did visitors. We do now have the American-style tray for wet shoes in the porch and a bench to sit on. Most friends offer to take them off.
Have you ever sat and had a formal dinner or been to a Christmas drinks party and had to take your shoes off? Only once have I had to do it and everyone giggled at the pink fluffy numbers the hostess was wearing. Most people brought their dress shoes.

I am going to a new group meeting in a home for the first time, so I must make sure I wear shoes which I can more easily take on and off in case it is expected. Whilst I understand the thinking, to me it feels weird in a social or semi-formal environment, sitting, or worse, standing, in socks or bare feet.

My feet easily get cold so I take slippers if I am going to family. They always remove their shoes at my house, though I tell them they needn’t, unless they are muddy.
DH would never take his shoes off. His foot specialist told him to always wear shoes, and latterly, he could not have managed to get them on and off without a struggle.
I appreciate that people do not want their carpets dirtied, but some consideration needs to be given to the difficulties some of us have with shoes and feet. A chair is a help. So is a shoe horn.

We take shoes off and keep slippers or cute indoor shoes at children's homes, our children and GC GGC take shoes off and wear slippers whilst here.

We all walk dogs throughout the day. No need to bring in dirt.

Nannarose I must admit I’ve never considered shoe covers but it’s a thought! It would save me grappling with awkward shoes and boots in winter, and losing my dignity in the hallway. Or finding that their dog has made off with a shoe which then has to be searched for, sometimes not completely unmarked

Fancythat,in response to your earlier post, I was born and grew up in N.Ireland where it would never have occurred to us to remove shoes. It was once we came to Canada to live that it became the norm. I’m curious to know what the something is that was explained 🤔