Christmas Newsletters

Aveline

A sad state of affairs indeed when you grudge or disbelieve others their interesting lives. If you can't stand hearing from these old friends just don't read their Christmas letters.

You have totally missed the point Aveline! I don't begrudge anyone joy or success in their lives. What an unpleasant accusation.
However I do question the veracity of how wonderful some people's lives are. I will repeat, no-one's life can be as perfect as some portray it.

However I do question the veracity of how wonderful some people's lives are. I will repeat, no-one's life can be as perfect as some portray it.
That's an interesting thought, but maybe everyone's view of their own life is highly subjective.
I might seriously "believe" that my house is on a par with Buck Palace, that my wardrobe rivals that of Lady Gaga and that my dog is far superior to any Crufts champion, so I will just tell you honestly. But then I'm a very open person without secrets, and never seek to deceive. Maybe it is the tone some people use, maybe a touch of humility is needed and too many superlatives, especially in writing, can sometimes sound OTT.
I just found the accusation that someone might be lying a bit wide off the mark.

I have only ever had one person who sent boasting letters. Most people write about their year, and, yes, things that have gone well, but also the things that have gone wrong, deaths and redundancies.

I wrote about DD's road accident, DH's heart attack, The stresses and strains when I suddenly had to take on the care of elderly relations. In fact i wrote aabout our lives, the good bits and the bad.

This year I talk about our moving plans, health problem, in a positive manner; DGD's GCSE success her Saturday job, all the minutae of our lives. The letters go out to family members and a few friends, not to everybody we send a card to.

There is nothing wrong with the round robin, all that matters is what you put in it.

I have still got copie sof the last 20 letters I have written

I used to get these Round Robins from an ex work colleague full of how many wonderful holidays they had been on, how well their children were doing in their jobs etc etc.

I felt quite hurt that they hadn’t even added a sentence at the end asking how I and my family were getting on, and that they couldn’t be bothered to write a more personal and individual letter to me.

However I do question the veracity of how wonderful some people's lives are. I will repeat, no-one's life can be as perfect as some portray it.

Maybe they're not portraying their lives as perfect, just telling people the nice things that have happened to them.

I very rarely tell anyone outside close family the bad things that happen to us. Nothing to do with 'seeming perfect'. Sometimes I don't want people to worry. I also don't want people constantly asking 'Is it okay now? Is it fixed yet? Are you okay now?' And I certainly don't want to relive those things later in the year, I want to forget them and look forward to better things.

Maybe they're not portraying their lives as perfect, just telling people the nice things that have happened to them.

I am thinking of one family in particular, whose children are all highly intelligent, excel at sports and are musically gifted.

I am proud of my children, but I don't boast about it.

Can't you just be happy for your friends? You might not think their children are all that bright but it's lovely that they do.

How do I get this point across?
I am not jealous, envious, nor spiteful. Please stop implying that I am.

I have known this person from primary school, where even then, she looked down on those, who were less well off than her and boasted about how wealthy her family were. A real friend wouldn't do that.
She hadn't a clue how some families were struggling.

Perhaps, I do have a chip on my shoulder, after all!

indeed

My late DH used to sit down every year conscientiously
to write his round robin (family and friends here and abroad) and I used to pull his leg about it.
He didn’t boast, but was very honest about ups and downs.
However one year I came across his Xmas letter at a mutual friend’s house in London which I hadn’t seen and was taken aback to read all about my gynaecological surgery etc. I try not to mention my health generally 😁
How I would love to see him sitting at the dining room table this year doing his write up😢

Just enjoy reading what people are telling you. No judgement is needed. If you do not like them just don't read them especially if they irritate you.

Bakingmad0203

I used to get these Round Robins from an ex work colleague full of how many wonderful holidays they had been on, how well their children were doing in their jobs etc etc.

I felt quite hurt that they hadn’t even added a sentence at the end asking how I and my family were getting on, and that they couldn’t be bothered to write a more personal and individual letter to me.

I used to get these Round Robins from an ex work colleague full of how many wonderful holidays they had been on...

I have to say that mostly I find other people's holiday experiences exceedingly boring unless I know them well and care about them greatly.

It reminds me of the days (in my case) where friends or relatives one only saw occasionally insisted on visiting with their holiday snaps.

"Here's George sitting on that lovely beach I told you about with his sun hat on... oh, and this is one of him without his sun hat..."

There’s a big difference IMO between a nice newsy letter, and one that’s full-on bragging, though we’ve only ever had one like that. It was from someone we’d known well in the past and it did frankly raise eyebrows, because it didn’t sound like the person we’d known before.

OTOH an elderly Canadian relative of dh always sends 2 pages of A4 crammed with a tiny font, detailing countless happenings, ailments and mishaps, not just her own, but those of all sorts of people we hardly know or don’t at all, and are never likely to!
I stopped bothering to read it a couple of years ago.

There’s a big difference IMO between a nice newsy letter, and one that’s full-on bragging, though we’ve only ever had one like that.

That's what I have been trying to say and failed miserably!

I got it, Marydoll!

One person's yearly update is another person's 'bragging'. The only difference is in the reader's perception. That is the point I'm making.

Aveline

One person's yearly update is another person's 'bragging'. The only difference is in the reader's perception. That is the point I'm making.

Indeed!
Just like one person's perception is that someone may be jealous, when actually they are not. 😉

Witzend

There’s a big difference IMO between a nice newsy letter, and one that’s full-on bragging, though we’ve only ever had one like that. It was from someone we’d known well in the past and it did frankly raise eyebrows, because it didn’t sound like the person we’d known before.

OTOH an elderly Canadian relative of dh always sends 2 pages of A4 crammed with a tiny font, detailing countless happenings, ailments and mishaps, not just her own, but those of all sorts of people we hardly know or don’t at all, and are never likely to!
I stopped bothering to read it a couple of years ago.

Being told about events that concern people you don't know, have never heard of previously and are unlikely ever to meet... well, I just cannot fathom it.

I knew a lady who did this, just about every time I saw her. Worse, she would give 'updates' on previous events in their lives. She wasn't lonely, had an attentive husband and daughter.

Fortunately, she was not in the habit of sending round robins - or maybe she's still composing one.

You can ignore the RRs but how do you graciously tell such a person who shares the details of unknown individuals' lives with you that it is boring?

We got one from someone we hadn’t seen for ages describing how sad they were at losing Joey (fictitional name). I was extremely sad thinking their son/daughter had died when at the end of the letter it appeared to have been their budgie!

From personal experience, take it all with several bags of salt. Like, road salt sized bags.

I never knew my MIL sent out Christmas newsletters until she sent one to me one year by mistake. I think the only accurate thing in it was our names . It was an interesting experience, reading about the life we were living that I had no idea about

Some folks have a need to create their own reality, and use annual newsletters as a way to dazzle and impress, regardless of how much creative writing it requires.

Either look at it as entertainment or delete it unread.

I only get one “catch up” letter a year now; from a much loved cousin who lives in a remote and beautiful part of Ireland. He and his wife and family lead such a lovely gentle life that I’ve always been delighted by the news of first communions, grandchildren being old enough to help daddy with the sheep, and what the weather on their wild Atlantic coast has been doing to them. They do a community beach clear up a few times a year and find the strangest things. He’s the only person I’ve ever been envious of. We used to get one or two of the boastful types of letter from friends but no longer.

None of my friends send these boastful letters. I have always thought they were a myth and imaginary fodder for standup comedians' routines.

As I live so far away from everyone, I love to hear what they and their offspring are doing. Most of my correspondents are old classmates from school days and I love that we are still in touch and all still on a similar wavelength and living similar lives.

Witzend

There’s a big difference IMO between a nice newsy letter, and one that’s full-on bragging, though we’ve only ever had one like that. It was from someone we’d known well in the past and it did frankly raise eyebrows, because it didn’t sound like the person we’d known before.

OTOH an elderly Canadian relative of dh always sends 2 pages of A4 crammed with a tiny font, detailing countless happenings, ailments and mishaps, not just her own, but those of all sorts of people we hardly know or don’t at all, and are never likely to!
I stopped bothering to read it a couple of years ago.

with regard to your Canadian relative.. I wonder if it is therapeutic for her to write it and if it somehow validates her life to herself..

I'm always happy for people to do well and enjoy life but I did know someone briefly who made everything about her. We had to sit for hours while she played back videos of her wedding, while boasting about her huge house and scorning those who came from humble origins. She was boring and I secretly hoped never to see her again 🥴🥴🥴. Fortunately, she was the friend of a friend, so I didn't have to 🤣🤣🤣

There's an amusing book based on the premise that the wife/ mother charged with this annual chore, started by writing a " true" and very frank account of their year, relationships with in- laws etc before starting the anodyne one. You'll have guessed that this was sent inadvertently and ....