Are table manners important anymore?

Germanshepherdsmum

It’s as well to know how to handle your cutlery in the conventional manner if you may want a job which subjects you to the sort of ‘lunch interview’ I mentioned above.

I think this is mainly something which will die out whilst spraying people with their food or showing what they are churning in their mouth, won't.
Quite frankly, if my employer couldn't see my worth without being so judgmental, they are not someone I would want to work for in this day and age.

If you were hiring a lawyer you would want to be sure that they would behave at lunch in a manner acceptable to clients. Someone’s cv might be good but their table manners less so.

Mollygo

Doodledog

I don't hold my knife like a pencil, but I don't understand why it is so upsetting for people to see others doing so. Someone somewhere decreed that there is a 'correct' way to hold a knife - I doubt anyone now knows who, where or why - and all these years later it is used to suggest that people holding it differently is offensive. Maybe they're just doing what the 'non-pencil' people do, which is hold it as we were taught as children, or maybe they just prefer to 'pencil' their knife? Why is it offensive?
Well put, Doodledog

Offensive is a strange term to use for something which evidently makes non-pencil holders feel superior.
Talking with your mouth full, eating with your mouth open is offensive because it’s unpleasant to see, or feel the effects but criticising someone for holding a knife?

Is it because our betters were seen to hold their cutlery in a certain way and aping our betters makes people feel good about themselves?

I don't think it's offensive although I do find it irritating! Less so now because people's table manners have deteriorated rapidly over the last few years fir some reason. Fast good? No 'proper' school dinners, more finger food?

I do think more pressure can be applied holding the knife the 'correct' way rather than like a pencil but I haven't conducted any experiments to find out if that's true!

Oh dear, typos!

for
Fast food?

Doodledog

I don't hold my knife like a pencil, but I don't understand why it is so upsetting for people to see others doing so. Someone somewhere decreed that there is a 'correct' way to hold a knife - I doubt anyone now knows who, where or why - and all these years later it is used to suggest that people holding it differently is offensive. Maybe they're just doing what the 'non-pencil' people do, which is hold it as we were taught as children, or maybe they just prefer to 'pencil' their knife? Why is it offensive?

Oh dear, now I’m terrified to eat in company ever again!
I’ve only recently discovered the proper way to hold a pencil when reading a granddaughter’s “primer”. I’ve been doing it wrongly. ( That’s dyslexia for you).
My husband mentioned the knife thing when I went to my first Mess dinner. He had been taught “correct table etiquette” during officers’ training. It’s a good job we’re nonjudgmental as I wonder how many people are “offensively” mishandling the salt!

Don’t be terrified on my account . If you don’t pinch all the crackling and eat with your mouth open you’re welcome at my table. Life’s too short to worry about how others hold their cutlery.

Doodledog

Don’t be terrified on my account . If you don’t pinch all the crackling and eat with your mouth open you’re welcome at my table. Life’s too short to worry about how others hold their cutlery.

I’ll be OK then. I don’t like crackling and I eat with my mouth closed.
Life’s too short to worry about how others hold their cutlery. 🤣🤣🤣
Obviously not for many GNs

Life’s too short to worry about how others hold their cutlery.

I've realised I have absolutely no idea how most of the people I eat with hold their cutlery! I do know one who is right handed who eats with the knife held in her left hand because she mirrored her older sister who sat opposite to her at the table, but only because she told me. Maybe I'm just too busy chatting and eating (but never both simultaneously! )

My husband mentioned the knife thing when I went to my first Mess dinner. He had been taught “correct table etiquette” during officers’ training

AKA Knife, Fork and Spoon course! 😁

Amazed he got as far as officer's training if he didn't already know cutlery etiquette.
My Dad went on a special invitation only weekend away and was closely observed as to his social skills before being accepted for officers training.
That was in the war of course.

Aveline ditto for a nephew. And not so long ago either.

He probably did know how to use cutlery, Aveline.
But it would be reinforced at a training course where extra cutlery would be used for different courses at a Mess dinner over and above that used in most normal homes.

Besides the cutlery, there are other protocols to observe.

Mais naturellement!

Of course he knew how to use cutlery! But how many of us know the rules regarding salt.

Aveline
Table etiquette, not cutlery. Arcane rules about port come to mind

Mogsmaw

Aveline
Table etiquette, not cutlery. Arcane rules about port come to mind

Do not stand when toasting the King!

Mogsmaw

Aveline
Table etiquette, not cutlery. Arcane rules about port come to mind

Hosts and guests who wish to go around the corner should do so much before entering the dining hall and not wait till just prior to entering the dining hall. It is to well worth remembering that there is bound to be a rush of guests with a similar requirement

😂.

The correct direction of passage of the port is vital to know.
The dreaded HKLP is to be avoided at all costs as is the appalling practice of draping cutlery off the plate.

HKLP?

Mogsmaw

HKLP?

Back to knives and pencils 😁

Callistemon21

Mogsmaw

HKLP?

Back to knives and pencils 😁

Thank you.
I don’t think I’ll take the obscure acronym as a dig at my dyslexia, that would be extremely ill-mannered.

HKLP was a code for Non U cutlery usage in the Nancy Mitford book. I always thought it was funny. There were all sorts of other indications, some already alluded to in this thread. Must read that book again.

I think good table manners should include never saying Yuk about something that other people are proposing to eat, e.g when discussing menus. A hideous word at the best of times but very rudely at mealtimes.

Aveline

HKLP was a code for Non U cutlery usage in the Nancy Mitford book. I always thought it was funny. There were all sorts of other indications, some already alluded to in this thread. Must read that book again.

Which book, I’m familiar with the novels. I think this is the journalism.

Aveline

HKLP was a code for Non U cutlery usage in the Nancy Mitford book. I always thought it was funny. There were all sorts of other indications, some already alluded to in this thread. Must read that book again.

I don't think I've ever heard of going round the corner used as a euphemism for popping to the loo 😁