Are table manners important anymore?

MKGIS?

Doodledog

I really don't think that civilisation will collapse if people start to use their forks as spoons.

Certainly didn’t last night at our choir’s post Christmas dinner. Just for fun I counted the UKLP and MKGIS. 42% were UKLP, 58% were MKGIS.
Nobody appeared to be exhibiting their superiority because of the way they held their knife, (though reading posts on here, some may well have been saving up to express their disgust when they got home) and no one appeared to struggle with cutting food, which ever way they used.
No one I could see ate with their mouth open or talked with their mouth full, but we were a big group so I might have missed that.
I never really look at how people use their knives until the yearly visit on GN when I’m reminded of the MKGIS.

I really don't think that civilisation will collapse if people start to use their forks as spoons.

Good table manners are extremely important as are all aspects of behaviour, good manners ie thank you notes etc are a sign of a civilised society.

Yes it is just a game played by certain groups. Table manners, among other things, convey non verbal cues as to social background which matters to some people.

Manners help to oil the wheel of social intercourse. We all know the rules and find life runs smoother and more courteously when following them.

However, these rules do change over time - as we would expect, so insisting on continuing with outdated rules sometimes look and sound ridiculous to the modern taste.

Where there are rules of etiquette insisted on by particular groups - this is a different matter - and really just a game they play which has no bearing on any other circumstance.

Nancy Mitford's book about 'U' and 'non-U' was meant to be humerous, albeit with a cutting edge.

It is surely a sign of people's insecurities that they take it so seriously.

I couldn't give a toss. Good manners, that is courtesy for other people, should be one's guiding rule, not arcane rules drawn up 150 years ago at the height of Queen Victoria's reign.

Aveline

HKLP was a code for Non U cutlery usage in the Nancy Mitford book. I always thought it was funny. There were all sorts of other indications, some already alluded to in this thread. Must read that book again.

I don't think I've ever heard of going round the corner used as a euphemism for popping to the loo 😁

Aveline

HKLP was a code for Non U cutlery usage in the Nancy Mitford book. I always thought it was funny. There were all sorts of other indications, some already alluded to in this thread. Must read that book again.

Which book, I’m familiar with the novels. I think this is the journalism.

I think good table manners should include never saying Yuk about something that other people are proposing to eat, e.g when discussing menus. A hideous word at the best of times but very rudely at mealtimes.

HKLP was a code for Non U cutlery usage in the Nancy Mitford book. I always thought it was funny. There were all sorts of other indications, some already alluded to in this thread. Must read that book again.

Callistemon21

Mogsmaw

HKLP?

Back to knives and pencils 😁

Thank you.
I don’t think I’ll take the obscure acronym as a dig at my dyslexia, that would be extremely ill-mannered.

Mogsmaw

HKLP?

Back to knives and pencils 😁

HKLP?

The correct direction of passage of the port is vital to know.
The dreaded HKLP is to be avoided at all costs as is the appalling practice of draping cutlery off the plate.

Mogsmaw

Aveline
Table etiquette, not cutlery. Arcane rules about port come to mind

Hosts and guests who wish to go around the corner should do so much before entering the dining hall and not wait till just prior to entering the dining hall. It is to well worth remembering that there is bound to be a rush of guests with a similar requirement

😂.

Mogsmaw

Aveline
Table etiquette, not cutlery. Arcane rules about port come to mind

Do not stand when toasting the King!

Aveline
Table etiquette, not cutlery. Arcane rules about port come to mind

Of course he knew how to use cutlery! But how many of us know the rules regarding salt.

Mais naturellement!

He probably did know how to use cutlery, Aveline.
But it would be reinforced at a training course where extra cutlery would be used for different courses at a Mess dinner over and above that used in most normal homes.

Besides the cutlery, there are other protocols to observe.

Aveline ditto for a nephew. And not so long ago either.

Amazed he got as far as officer's training if he didn't already know cutlery etiquette.
My Dad went on a special invitation only weekend away and was closely observed as to his social skills before being accepted for officers training.
That was in the war of course.

My husband mentioned the knife thing when I went to my first Mess dinner. He had been taught “correct table etiquette” during officers’ training

AKA Knife, Fork and Spoon course! 😁

Life’s too short to worry about how others hold their cutlery.

I've realised I have absolutely no idea how most of the people I eat with hold their cutlery! I do know one who is right handed who eats with the knife held in her left hand because she mirrored her older sister who sat opposite to her at the table, but only because she told me. Maybe I'm just too busy chatting and eating (but never both simultaneously! )