Daughter says I should always be the one to visit

I have done that in past but she always cancels. Unless she is wanting or collecting something, but the thing is she will go anywhere with her partners parents.

You’re not being unreasonable at all. I have much the same problem with journeys of 4hrs, 2hrs and 90 minutes to see my 3. I struggle a lot with disabilities too. I’ve tried talking to them but nothing changes. I have good relationships with them and am very welcome at theirs. The only thing you can do is to put your case over then leave it at that. Try to accept that seems to be the way many of the younger generation are these days, and know that you are far from alone in this frustrating and difficult situation.

We did lots more fir our parents when we were younger but our children seem to be constantly busy.

Why not suggest meeting midway have lunch and a wander. Plenty of time to catch up . Teenagers can come or not.