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AIBU

My DH drives me mad with playing jazz piano.

(100 Posts)
Margomar Wed 03-Apr-24 10:33:14

I’m a serious music lover, pianist ( classical) but I also love rock and pop from sixties onwards.However I share our home with my lovely DH and have done since 1968- but he loves to play a sort of jazz on our piano, and also on his guitar. It’s loud, “muddy sounding” and fills our space for an hour at a time. There are no recognisable tunes, it’s pure improvisation and I hate it with a vengeance, I find it boring and very irritating.
He says it helps him to relieve nervous tension and I admit that he has every right to enjoy a hobby in his own home. . I have
strategies such as putting on headphones when he starts, or putting on my own music very loud in the kitchen to drown it out( we don’t have near neighbours).nut sometimes when I’m watching TV in the evenings it’s just so intrusive and hard to escape !
Do any other Gransnetters have partners whose music making drives the mad?

MissAdventure Sat 06-Apr-24 18:33:51

I listened to "copacabana", "sunset serenade", and another one, but I still didn't like it.

They remind of Fred Flintstone trapping a bee in a clamshell and using it to shave. smile

MissAdventure Sat 06-Apr-24 18:15:32

I don't care what colour his trumpet was.
I find trumpet sounds really jarring.

I'm off to look him up, though. 🙂

Callistemon21 Sat 06-Apr-24 17:57:37

MissAdventure

I've never heard a trumpet sound beautiful.

Eddie Calvert?

The man with the Golden Trumpet.
You are probably too young to remember.

undines Sat 06-Apr-24 17:40:03

Goodness I wish my DH had a hobby like that! His 'go to' is watching tractors on YouTube! I understand the effect some music can have and I too, like Thoro, have felt 'intensely angry' But you have the option to go out - I would make his sessions my dog-walk/shopping hour!

MissAdventure Sat 06-Apr-24 17:39:31

I've never heard a trumpet sound beautiful.

Dinahmo Sat 06-Apr-24 17:31:00

There is an enormous range of jazz so I don't understand why people dislike all of it. If you look on You tube you 'll find a lot. Miles Davis, in his early days - beautiful trumpet. Also EST - Esbjorn Svensson Trio. Sadly he was killed in a diving accident several years ago. But an amazing pianist.

V3ra Sat 06-Apr-24 17:00:55

singingnutty are we married to the same man? 😂

singingnutty Sat 06-Apr-24 16:56:17

I expect the jazz playing DH would not want to play on a keyboard, because using a real piano will be part of the experience. Putting a piano in a shed might be tricky - it would have to be a proper outbuilding of some sort I think. It certainly must be very difficult to cope with several hours a day of something you don't like and can't easily avoid. My DH turns on a radio as soon as he walks into a room (several rooms have radios) and has it very loud as he is quite deaf. Usually he is agreeable to turning it off when I ask as he is usually not really listening anyway. It's an annoying habit which he has always had and it's unlikely that he will change it anymore than his habit of not hanging up his trousers but leaving them on the floor overnight, or not closing cupboard doors or drawers!

Oreo Sat 06-Apr-24 16:26:07

It sounds a real pain in the arse to me, modern jazz, improvising and so on would be real annoying.
No idea what the answer is, but a conversation is needed.
A compromise? An hour at the most when you’re both in the house, then whenever you go out, tell him to plonk to his hearts content?

Oreo Sat 06-Apr-24 16:21:58

MissAdventure

It's not necessary to go around on cloud nine because someone is still alive.

Being glad doesnt mean they can't get on your nerves, and it doesn't mean you're not allowed to express it because of others sensibilities.

😁

Pippa22 Sat 06-Apr-24 16:19:36

Reading about annoying husbands , I wish I had one.
I have been on my own since my husband died over twenty years ago and having that lovely man being annoying in our house again would be very acceptable.
All you annoyed wives, just put up with the annoying habits and give your man an extra hug, you will miss it so much when you can’t.

marionk Sat 06-Apr-24 16:18:40

Get him a music shed!

Tizliz Sat 06-Apr-24 15:50:05

glammagran

I really love jazz of all kinds except trad jazz. Favourites atm are bands from Poland and Scandinavia. We are going to see Espen Erikson trio playing with Andy Shepherd in Bristol next month. We saw Andy as a young man (as were we!) in the early 80’s when he had very long curly hair. Now he’s grey and quite bald. You should try Margomar as the trio are all classically trained and it really shows.

Just downloaded Espen Erikson - they are good, thank you

grandtanteJE65 Sat 06-Apr-24 15:14:49

Obviously, you need to get him to agree not to play music while you are watching TV. Surely, as he only plays for an hour this should be possible.

If he plays for longer, then sound proofing a room is the way to go.

Dressagediva123 Sat 06-Apr-24 15:10:14

Can you agree a time & go out for an hour , so he can play without annoying you ?

MissAdventure Sat 06-Apr-24 15:05:24

I can't tolerate jazz at all.

It bunches my brain up.

Ikiesgranma Sat 06-Apr-24 15:03:53

My husband loves prog rock. Especially Jethro Tull I can't stand it. I call it his pixie music but after over 40 years I just shut the door and put the volume up a bit on the tv. I really don’t like jazz, I think it’s scribbles music.

MissAdventure Sat 06-Apr-24 14:38:18

Missiseff

Get him a man cave at the bottom of the garden

Or even better, at the bottom of someone else's garden.

GreatGM60 Sat 06-Apr-24 13:42:53

How selfish of him. Buy him a set of wireless headphones.

cc Sat 06-Apr-24 13:42:40

Gwyllt

I envy those who have to tolerate music but perhaps I might think differently if I had to. My bugbear is rolling sky news. Husband puts in on in boot room as soon as he comes down. If he is in the kitchen which has a fire and couches. On goes the TV likewise his office. Never switches them off and if I do. They get switched on when he returns. If I put the radio on or music he complains it is distracting. Even improvised jazz sounds good to me

I hate Sky news too, the same short clips over and over and over again. Also loathe LBC with all those really irritating presenters taking phone calls. I'd love to banish him to his room with his radio and his keyboard but I'd miss the occasional conversations that we have.
His latest fad is YouTube news videos, sadly he can only watch that in our living room.

JaneJudge Sat 06-Apr-24 13:40:50

Mine like the Dave Berry breakfast show and sort of talks along to it and he's also started entering competitions convinced he'll become a millionaire

Missiseff Sat 06-Apr-24 13:40:20

Get him a man cave at the bottom of the garden

suelld Sat 06-Apr-24 13:39:33

Simples…buy YOURSELF a pair of noise cancelling headphones…and when he starts watch the tv and listen through the headphones
My son just flew to and fro Japan for c 15 hours each way…he can’t sleep but listened/ watched films, etc for most of the time with these on. He said it cut out all noise bar what he was watching/ listening to. Bose or Bang and Olafson. Maybe get your DH to buy them for you???

ReadyMeals Sat 06-Apr-24 13:39:15

Get him a modern electronic keyboard then he can plug headphones in. Also there should be some sort of guitar amp that can take headphones. Or maybe he can think about going into midi input with all the fun of making his own recordings, playing every part himself.

Or remind him that learning new skills keeps the brain healthy and suggest he learns to play your favorite genres.

cc Sat 06-Apr-24 13:38:34

My husband did this for years but there is no room for his baby grand now that we've moved. He has an electronic keyboard and a head set and seems perfectly content!