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AIBU

My DH drives me mad with playing jazz piano.

(99 Posts)
Margomar Wed 03-Apr-24 10:33:14

I’m a serious music lover, pianist ( classical) but I also love rock and pop from sixties onwards.However I share our home with my lovely DH and have done since 1968- but he loves to play a sort of jazz on our piano, and also on his guitar. It’s loud, “muddy sounding” and fills our space for an hour at a time. There are no recognisable tunes, it’s pure improvisation and I hate it with a vengeance, I find it boring and very irritating.
He says it helps him to relieve nervous tension and I admit that he has every right to enjoy a hobby in his own home. . I have
strategies such as putting on headphones when he starts, or putting on my own music very loud in the kitchen to drown it out( we don’t have near neighbours).nut sometimes when I’m watching TV in the evenings it’s just so intrusive and hard to escape !
Do any other Gransnetters have partners whose music making drives the mad?

BigBertha1 Wed 03-Apr-24 10:41:01

An hour doesn't seem much to accommodate. You say you have strategies to cope. I must admit even though I love Pink Floyd I probably suffer from an overdose at times.

Redhead56 Wed 03-Apr-24 10:42:52

My DH isn't musical but his mobile plays irritating tunes.

hollysteers Wed 03-Apr-24 10:46:21

Do you have another room in the house your DH could use as a ‘studio’ with another keyboard set up there rather than using your joint piano. I think it’s rather selfish to impose music on someone if they don’t like it.
A ‘man cave’ in the garden if possible would be a good solution.
.
I’m a singer myself but always find somewhere else to practise if family are about and prefer quiet in the house the rest of the time. I think you should make your feelings known.

Theexwife Wed 03-Apr-24 10:54:09

Listen to the TV through the headphones which I assume are noise cancelling.

This would be grounds for divorce for me, I like a bit of most genres of music except jazz, cannot stand it especially played by amateur in my home.

Spinnaker Wed 03-Apr-24 10:59:20

Buy a digital piano with a set of headphones. I have a Yamaha and it's wonderful.

Jewelle Wed 03-Apr-24 11:05:36

Unless I’ve read this wrong, you haven’t come up with any coping strategies since 1968??? I think it’s a bit late now!

OurKid1 Wed 03-Apr-24 11:12:24

It's only an hour!

Louella12 Wed 03-Apr-24 11:21:53

Jazz music makes me feel angry. Can't cope with it at all.

Anniebach Wed 03-Apr-24 11:33:00

Like living with Oscar Peterson wow

Marydoll Wed 03-Apr-24 11:33:57

My (deaf) DH plays loud music through our Sonus system. However, he often fails to check which room it is playing in and I am often assaulted by loud, rock music, whilst dozing relaxing in the conservatory or cooking in the kitchen.
He is oblivious.

Count yourself lucky, it is only an hour.

NanKate Wed 03-Apr-24 11:47:55

Come to my house where we have mainly Blues music from way back on our 4 Alexas, 60s music, I love African music played by Ali Farka Toure, I listen to Music from the Andes at breakfast and when we have the grandchildren with us we play Bang Bang by Ariana Grande and all dance round the room 💃🕺🧍‍♂️🧍🏻It’s music mayhem at our house.

‘Try Down the Road a Piece’ by Amos Milburn, a real cracker.

Freya5 Wed 03-Apr-24 11:51:19

Piano and jazz,a new convert. Listen to the lovely sites onyou tube. Perfect for relaxing and reading. Compromise surely, is the word that comes to mind.

Tizliz Wed 03-Apr-24 11:57:05

What annoys me is when he is looking for something new to play. Get 10 secs of this one, 20 secs of another etc, mainly without asking me if I like it and very loud so no chance of reading through it. Who invented streaming services 😡😡

hollysteers Wed 03-Apr-24 12:37:32

Spinnaker

Buy a digital piano with a set of headphones. I have a Yamaha and it's wonderful.

That is an excellent idea, but what about the guitar?

Thoro Wed 03-Apr-24 14:18:37

My first (late) husband was into modern jazz. I found the actual music made me intensely angry!

Spinnaker Wed 03-Apr-24 14:45:01

hollysteers

Spinnaker

Buy a digital piano with a set of headphones. I have a Yamaha and it's wonderful.

That is an excellent idea, but what about the guitar?

Guitars too can be electric with attachable headphones. It's all about compromise and consideration really - which I have to say after all this time should be sorted grin

Chestnut Wed 03-Apr-24 16:24:48

Someone has already said it. He needs a digital piano with headphones then he can play for as long as he likes and you hear absolutely nothing. Bliss! 🎧

Likewise the guitar should be heard only by him because noise is very distressing if it's not what you want to hear. 🙉

Like others, I'm astonished you haven't done this years ago. 🤔

BlueBelle Wed 03-Apr-24 16:50:48

How come it’s taken you 50+ years to worry about this without finding a solution
Bit of a ‘none problem’ problem

Margomar Wed 03-Apr-24 20:06:56

I’ve always hated it, yes, for over 50 years, but a, he’s much more at home these days and plays several times a day for up to an hour and b, as I’m getting older I’m getting more intolerant.

Margomar Wed 03-Apr-24 20:10:31

OurKid1

It's only an hour!

Several times a day!

BlueBelle Wed 03-Apr-24 20:15:59

Well either join him or do you own thing several times a day or get a divorce and find someone who doesn’t like jazz
I really can’t imagine how something that’s been happening and bothering you for 50+ years hasn’t been tackled like 49 years ago

rubysong Wed 03-Apr-24 21:15:38

My DH plays bass guitar in a jazz trio and does a lot of practising prior to a gig, (which is not often). I am allergic to jazz so there have to be 2 closed doors between him and me when he is playing. I do sing unaccompanied, somewhat miserable, folk songs but I only do it when he is out.

GrannySomerset Wed 03-Apr-24 21:26:12

The thing I miss is the sound of DH’s music - mostly jazz - because it meant he was in the house. Surely after 50 years you have learned to tune it out?

CanadianGran Wed 03-Apr-24 22:27:30

Not music, but my DH loves to watch curling, or rather, he has it on the TV and sometimes pays attention while he does other things.

I can have other sports on the tv in the background, but curling (especially the ladies') drives me a bit crazy with all the yelling.