Elderly fellow gran has become loudly racist

That's what I was thinking too, ExD

My Mum was prone to water infections and they always brought on a kind of dementia - her favourite was 'flogging'. For example she would say the waitress in a cafe should be flogged for serving such bitter coffee, or the prime minister should be flogged for failing to stop the illegal immigrant boats.
It would have been funny if she hadn't been talking at the top of her voice.
When she said such things I knew it was time to ask the health visitor to arrange a urine test.

Delirium can come on very quickly, could be due to an infection, but have similar symptoms.

Ditto to dementia being a possibility. People can and do lose their ‘filters’.

Though having said that, an aunt of dh (no dementia) who IMO had always had racist inclinations, started saying things very loudly in public, e.g. ‘So many blacks around here now!’

Not to mention other very loud derogatory comments - ’Why does that waitress wear such short skirts with legs like that!’ 😱

It was a relief when we stopped taking her out to lunch - she invariably moaned about the food anyway - too hot, too cold, too tough, too sloppy, they don’t know how to make pastry any more, etc.
I would take something quick and easy and cook at her flat instead.

zakouma66

The Strange Case of the Suddenly Anti Semetic Gran.

by Agatha Christie

Do you think that's why? 🤔

The Strange Case of the Suddenly Anti Semetic Gran.

by Agatha Christie

Another aspect of dementia is that people can develop obsessions over seemingly petty things that would not bother others. There is no point in trying to explain to them because its like talking to a tape recorder.

I knew there was something wrong with my neighbour when she developed an obsession with bins, drains and rubbish. One day when the bins were out for collection my then LL had picked up a coke can dropped by the local kids and went to put it in her bin. She aggressively snapped the bin shut and shouted "I have more rubbish to put out" However the bin was more or less empty. A single coke can would not have prevented her putting more rubbish in it.

The LL was so surprised that she mentioned it to me. I had been telling her for some time that the NDN had mental health issues but she saw it for herself that day.

Thank you all for your helpful remarks! Yes, I hadn't thought of dementia, that could well be the reason, because as you say, it's fairly recent. Next time we meet in her home (or mine), I will try to get across to her that she really must not say these things and how hurtful they could feel. Your comments have given me some strength; thank you.

Dementia is very subtle and develops over a very long period of time . I have work voluntarily for many years for the Alzheimer's society, so gleaned a considerable amount of information. My DH is recently diognosed with Alzheimers Disease, he is on medication - so far so good , but I am under no illusion as to what the future may hold! Early diognosis is paramount if medication is to be of help, even then it may not be beneficial.
I May be incorrect about your friend j3ll but it is something you may wish to think about.

Dementia came to my mind too - I've seen it happen in others with dementia, not necessarily racist comments, but similar. Thankfully, my own mother became very passive when she had dementia, but some people can get very aggressive with it. I went to visit my mother in hospital once and another woman was very apologetic because her mother was cursing and swearing. She said she never even realised her mother knew such words, as she'd never so much as raised her voice to her in all those years, but here she was cursing like a trooper!

I think shelfliife sums it up well.

I never could understand how people get more prejudiced as they get older. Surely as you see more of the world, the more you learn that everyone is an individual and you can't generalise. It seems to be a sign of mental problems.

Is this out of character for her? If the answer is yes she may have dementia. Hearing loss that is not addressed may speed up dementia. Trust me I know! On the other hand if she is simply racist she needs telling LOUD AND CLEAR, that you will not tolerate her racist comments. Also tell her it is in her best interest to have a hearing assessment ( easier said than done! ) It is embarrassing for you , especially if you have to shout to be heard ! Looks like a red flag to me on the dementia front - that needs assessing along with her hearing. If all this fails you may have to back away from her. Good luck, hope you let us know how you get on.

I couldn't socialise with someone who said things like that.

If you're true friends you should be able to discuss this problem and resolve it amicably methinks.

This seems to be an easy problem to solve. You say you don't like meeting her anymore so cut ties and don't meet her anymore!