Gransnet forums

AIBU

Children holidaying during term time.

(210 Posts)
Sago Tue 30-Apr-24 11:42:58

AIBU?
We have just returned from a lovely week cruising the Fjords.
There were far more under 16’s onboard than we could have anticipated.
A lot of families didn’t leave the ship they just stayed and played bingo etc while the children were in the pool or the children’s clubs.
I couldn’t help but think of all the staff who come from countries where an education isn’t taken for granted.
One woman said the cruise cost her 2K out of term instead of 5K in the holidays.
This is why we had camping holidays in Scotland for so many years!

TerriBull Tue 30-Apr-24 17:54:09

Relating all this back retrospectively, I'm trying to remember what was going on at the time, some of it was work related, when windows of opportunity presented. My husband had his own business and there was a certain amount of fitting in with partners and whatever was coming down the pipeline

GrannyGravy13 Tue 30-Apr-24 18:04:16

MissAdventure

I also think, for a child, Bognor Regis or Bangkok makes no difference.
If we are talking from the practical point of view about missing school, and potentially holding back other pupils, then it makes absolutely no difference where a child was taken.

Totally agree, the destination is irrelevant.

Some families have no choice as to when to take their annual leave.

In my opinion family time is extremely important especially now that it’s the norm for both parents to work. When it comes to the weekend the children might have various clubs, homework and frazzled parents are catching up on household chores, shopping etc.

A holiday at anytime is important for all.

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 30-Apr-24 18:04:29

Lord knows I had problems getting away from work but it didn’t occur to me to take my child out of school for a holiday. We couldn’t afford holidays abroad then, anyway - self catering in England or days out. Of course those would have been cheaper during term time but his education was, to me, far more important. It seems some can’t manage without a holiday abroad.

GrannyGravy13 Tue 30-Apr-24 18:11:53

Germanshepherdsmum

Lord knows I had problems getting away from work but it didn’t occur to me to take my child out of school for a holiday. We couldn’t afford holidays abroad then, anyway - self catering in England or days out. Of course those would have been cheaper during term time but his education was, to me, far more important. It seems some can’t manage without a holiday abroad.

I will gladly wear that hat.

My mother, step-father and sister were living abroad, they could only visit us once a year, we visited them often.

If you were to ask our AC they do not feel that their education suffered, in fact the total opposite their horizons were broadened and it gave them the impetus to achieve.

They wanted to succeed and get well paying jobs and nice homes, along with continuing their wander lust which started from travelling with us from babies.

MissAdventure Tue 30-Apr-24 18:19:06

I'm a bit of an old fart when it comes to "rules", I think.

I was bought up that way and it's hard to change.

I have yearly turned down 3 or 4 offers of holidays for my boy, because they're in term time.
"The other side" just say not to worry, they'll pay any fines, but it's not about the fine, for me.
It's the rules!! blush

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 30-Apr-24 18:24:18

How amazing that my son is a partner in a big City law firm, and has had many wonderful holidays abroad since leaving school, without ever having missed a day’s education for a holiday. Family time doesn’t only happen on holiday, no matter how busy the parents.

Gillycats Tue 30-Apr-24 18:26:01

I think if people want to take their children out of school fair enough. But there’s no way that teachers should be expected to help them catch up on their return. Teachers are already overworked and underpaid so it’s tough luck if the children miss important education. If parents don’t prioritise their children’s education then that’s their (questionable) prerogative. Especially with secondary school aged kids (why would you do that when they’re already under enough pressure with exams and coursework).

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 30-Apr-24 18:29:15

I’m an old fart too MissA. I don’t buy holidays being an education. They simply broaden horizons. Being in the classroom, taught by professional teachers, gives you the education you need to pass exams. All the ‘life experiences’ in the world won’t count when you have to list your qualifications on a cv.

MissAdventure Tue 30-Apr-24 18:35:59

Sounds just like me, when I'm "going on". grin

TerriBull Tue 30-Apr-24 18:43:15

Our children went to state school, the curriculum was stultifying and the parameters in how they were taught unbelievably narrow, broadened by sixth form and for one university, Mostly their desire to learn, one is a voracious consumer of books now in a way he wasn't at school, imbue themselves in how the world works and all the matters related to business when they went into the working world came from us, they tell us that often, not from school. Our children's comprehensive was rated well above average, but by Year 10 or 11 most of us were having to tutor our children privately in preparation for maths GCSE and no that wasn't because of holidays in term time. I really don't think taking them out of school very occasionally for experiences that have widened their knowledge detrimental in fact in hindsight it's been beneficial, but different days it was permissible then and I would emphasise that most holidays were during the school holiday period.

Wyllow3 Tue 30-Apr-24 18:43:22

I think the problem with that is that having missed a chunk of curriculum will impact on a good teacher who cares when the pupil struggles with the missing bit especially near exam and SATS situations.

It's also a simple question of fairness.

Imagine a situation where right through the year different children disappear then re-appear - if the numbers build up its chaos - it's not fair to the children in general in that class who will suffer. And that simply isn't fair to all.

Sometimes I wonder if the situation could be alleviated marginally by different holiday times in different LA's

GrannyGravy13 Tue 30-Apr-24 18:45:28

Well our children have either been lucky or they are capable of catching up quickly as their cv’s are all pretty damn good like their exam results/degrees.

Isn’t it a good thing that we are not all the same?

Just imagine what holiday destinations (both here and abroad) would be like if all those with children holidayed at the same time…

Wyllow3 Tue 30-Apr-24 19:01:20

A lot depends on what happens at home. My DS/family wouldn't dream of breaking the boundaries but weekends are full of lively activities.

Tenko Tue 30-Apr-24 19:43:34

We took our DC away during term time when they were at primary school , but added a few days to either the summer or autum half term. We never took them out of school whilst at high school . And both got into grammar schools . So I can’t condone parents who take their kids away during term time . However it is annoying to have a hotel full of kids , which is why we either do adults only or a villa

silverlining48 Tue 30-Apr-24 19:53:07

Unfortunately we rarely had weekends or bank holidays including Christmas together as due to shift patterns my dh was often working, or if at home was sleeping, or his day off was midweek when the children were at school, so our two weeks together were precious and a rare opportunity fir us to be together.
I really envied the families out together at weekends while I was mostly on my own with my children.
It’s not acceptable now though many people do take their children out but in those days you told the school when you were taking the children out and there wasn’t a problem and I was grateful we got some quality time together.

LOUISA1523 Tue 30-Apr-24 19:53:16

Germanshepherdsmum

How amazing that my son is a partner in a big City law firm, and has had many wonderful holidays abroad since leaving school, without ever having missed a day’s education for a holiday. Family time doesn’t only happen on holiday, no matter how busy the parents.

How amazing 🙄

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 30-Apr-24 19:57:16

GrannyGravy13

Well our children have either been lucky or they are capable of catching up quickly as their cv’s are all pretty damn good like their exam results/degrees.

Isn’t it a good thing that we are not all the same?

Just imagine what holiday destinations (both here and abroad) would be like if all those with children holidayed at the same time…

Just imagine if we could all have afforded to go on expensive holidays …

MissAdventure Tue 30-Apr-24 20:01:00

Tenko

We took our DC away during term time when they were at primary school , but added a few days to either the summer or autum half term. We never took them out of school whilst at high school . And both got into grammar schools . So I can’t condone parents who take their kids away during term time . However it is annoying to have a hotel full of kids , which is why we either do adults only or a villa

How can you not condone people taking their children out of school when you have said you did it yourself?
You tagged a couple of days onto a half term holiday or whatever.

It's exactly the same, whenever the days are.

That is, if we are basing it on the premise of teachers being put out by it, and other pupils (perhaps ones who have never had a holiday at all) being held back by it.

I'm not being deliberately argumentative, but....

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 30-Apr-24 20:07:51

Nor me, but indeed … either it’s term time or it isn’t. Does adding a few days not count?

Macadia Tue 30-Apr-24 20:14:50

More than 100,000 children are home-schooled. You will find them on holiday any time of year.

GrannyGravy13 Tue 30-Apr-24 20:15:36

Germanshepherdsmum what do you mean by

If only we could all have afforded to go on expensive holidays

Catterygirl Tue 30-Apr-24 20:22:08

Stepdad was an engineer. When I was 11 and attending a grammar school in the Midlands, the head teacher kindly allowed us to study from home when dad’s work took us to Trinidad. When I returned to the school I was no. 3 in the top class, beaten by my two male peers. Robert and Nigel. I truly believe travel broadens the mind. My son hasn’t suffered by our move to Spain and he’s fluent. Now back in the UK he’s studying Italian and Japanese and knows how to fly a plane. I think plumbing and electrical engineering etc are really good jobs.

grannyactivist Tue 30-Apr-24 20:25:31

My own children were never taken out of school to go on holiday, but last year we did take our son and six year old grandson to France during the last week of summer term. There were extenuating circumstances, which the school accepted, so our grandson was given permission to go. As a bonus he’s half French, so it genuinely was educational for him.

Sago Tue 30-Apr-24 20:41:38

Macadia

More than 100,000 children are home-schooled. You will find them on holiday any time of year.

Believe me the children we encountered were highly unlikely to be home schooled.

Grammaretto Tue 30-Apr-24 21:20:28

Society has changed. Even in the years between when my eldest was at school in the 1980s and the youngest 1993 to 2005 attitudes and customs have changed.

The older ones all did exchange trips for 2 weeks and stayed with families in France and in Sweden.

There was also school camp in the Highlands during termtime, which they loved.

By the time the younger ones were at that stage, there was really no more staying with families. Disclosure and home checks, busy working parents etc so they stayed in their groups in hostels.
The school camps had stopped and "all" the children had family holidays.

We generally camped in Scotland because travelling abroad with so many DC and a dog was too expensive.

Now the DC and DGC all travel abroad. Did they feel that they had missed out and are making up for it? Or is it just that all their peers go abroad?