Gransnet forums

AIBU

Page 2 of 2 | First | Previous | Next | Last
| Flip | Customise |

Don't want to be unkind,but....

(29 Posts)
Add comment | Report
Judy54 Fri 28-Jun-24 17:08:23

No Thatsnotmeinthemirror you are definitely not being unreasonable. Glad to hear that you are usually quite assertive. Use this to set boundaries with this person, tell her when you are and are not available, what you can and cannot do to help her, when and when is not convenient to ring you. If she is always asking you to do things for her ask her to do something for you, can you put my bin out, can you pick up some shopping for me. If she drives ask her for lifts. She will soon get fed up when she realises she cannot manipulate you. Keep strong and hold her at arms length.

Add comment | Report
TwiceAsNice Fri 28-Jun-24 17:08:13

Poor you . You need to be more blunt. Her sister is moving away soon ( I wonder why ?!) Tell her you haven’t the emotional or financial or practical capacity to help her and you like a quiet life and would like to be left in peace.

To be honest it does sound “stalky” If she persists Id tell her you’ll report her for harassment. You sound like someone who’s sometimes too kind for their own good. I do hope things get better for you .

Add comment | Report
tinaf1 Fri 28-Jun-24 17:05:52

Know it’s hard if it’s not in your nature to be rude or unkind and it can be uncomfortable but you have to be pretty blunt with some people . If she takes offense so be it. Good luck

Add comment | Report
Thatsnotmeinthemirror Fri 28-Jun-24 16:54:51

I have,over the last few years supported ( emotionally and practically) an ex colleague who was having a difficult time. She was never a close friend but I was glad to help.
Her situation has now resolved and she is moving on. I am very happy for her but am also looking forward to enjoying my retirement which I have had to take due to disability.
My issue is that her sister has recently moved near by. I do not find her a very comfortable person to be around. She appears to assume that I am available when she wants help with anything . I have enough to do to care for myself which I have tried to explain.She is fit and healthy,financially secure ,works and has family who are near by. I have limited financial resources ,for example and when I declined to spend money she informed me I should " get a job then" . I wish ! I am usually quite assertive but this women has an answer for everything. I also find her quite manipulative. She invited me over for coffee and it became quite clear I was expected to help her with her spring cleaning.
My colleague has hinted that she finds her sister needy and demanding but when I ( kindly) tried to say how I felt ,she was very defensive. My colleague is moving away soon. I fear things will become worse re: her sister. She phones me often. If I dont answer she messages with increaing urgency . She will also get a neighbour to let her into my building to knock on my flat door. She knows i will mostly be at home . I love my quiet life and have my hobbies. But I'm beginning to feel stalked . I have tried to address it but was told that I'm boring. Aibu?

Page 2 of 2 | First | Previous | Next | Last
| Flip | Customise |