My sister won’t share a potential refund on a holiday

She may not get a refund, of course. It's a hypothetical question.

As you obviously do not get on with your sister and are resentful of her, why do you go on holiday with her?
Holidays are meant to be enjoyable experiences.

It sounds to me that you were upgraded as only two of you were sharing a cabin instead of three but your sister had to have a single cabin with no outside view so in a way she was downgraded. Therefore, your sister is the one that should have the refund as she was downgraded

I agree and with others who say the same.

SuzeQ

I recently enjoyed a lovely cruise with my sister and my best friend. The holiday got off to a shaky start as the 3 of us were due to share a cabin however, the bed arrangement was totally unacceptable. Long story short, the tour rep sorted it and we got an additional solo occupancy cabin for us, which my sister occupied.
The single cabin was a lower category cabin as it didn’t have a porthole and was on the “inside” of the ship. All other amenities etc were as per the original cabin that my friend and I occupied.
A week after coming home my sister informed me that she felt a refund was due from the tour operator as the single cabin worked out at £680 less. I said that any refund should be split between the 3 of us. She has point blank refused to do this.
My sister is several years older than me and single. Over the past six years she has enjoyed several trips away with me or me and my friends. I have invariably organised them and sorted out any hiccups. As she lives a few hundred miles away, she has stayed with us for a few days either side of any holiday so as to be near the airport. She has also stayed for Christmas, New Year etc at our expense.
I have to admit that on the last few occasions I have found her “ hard work”. She has never been a warm person but her coldness and selfish behaviour have become more apparent.
If she is successful in her recovery of some funds and keeps it to herself, I have no intention of holidaying with her again or being hospitable at other times of the year - it’s never reciprocated btw.
I feel that at 60 I do not need her negativity in my life but my other half is of the opinion that I shouldn’t let this refund come between us. It’s not about the money, it’s a principle. We went on the holiday as a group of 3 and if it wasn’t for me speaking with the rep we wouldn’t have got the additional cabin and she would have had to share with 2 other people!
Her new sense of entitlement is surprising and won’t be forgotten.
Just because she’s my sister doesn’t mean I have to accommodate her somewhat prickly character, I certainly wouldn’t choose her as a friend!
Am I being unreasonable to ask her to share any refund that may be made?

If I understand this correctly, all three of you were going to share a cabin with an outide view but because of the poor sleeping arrangements, you and your friend received a cabin for the two of you with an outside view but your sister received an inferior cabin without an outside view.

It sounds to me that you were upgraded as only two of you were sharing a cabin instead of three but your sister had to have a single cabin with no outside view so in a way she was downgraded. Therefore, your sister is the one that should have the refund as she was downgraded.

Under normal circumstances if you booked a cabin for two people it would be more expensive than a cabin for three.

There is no way I could have slept in a cabin without windows or portholes as I would feel claustrophobic. Your sister deserves the refund for living in that cabin.

You had a great holiday so let it go. You could have offered to take the inside cabin but you didn't and if you had done you would have been the one with the refund. If I had been going with my sister and a friend, it would have been myself and my sister sharing a cabin and our friend taking the single cabin.

Depends who paid her share Karmalady if poster is saying she paid for all three peoples holiday , then she gets the refund
if however they each paid their own share then the sister gets it as she was given an inside cabin unless of course she jumped up with pleasure and said I want to be in the stuffy no windows inside cabin

Your sister is morally entitled to the whole refund for the inferior cabin. It would be better if you were gracious about this

BlueBelle

I don’t understand this at all If you paid SuzieQ then any refund will come back to your name it doesn’t make sense otherwise

Just what I was thinking and I am certain the cruise company/tour operator will only liaise with the lead name on the booking despite other people being listed as travelling.

In what way was the cabin unacceptable? Was it misrepresented or did you misunderstand what the cabin would be like? I think this makes a difference re getting a refund. Any refund should be shared in my opinion.

I don’t understand this at all If you paid SuzieQ then any refund will come back to your name it doesn’t make sense otherwise

I’d let it go but wouldn’t holiday with her again, no point stressing yourself about it.

Surely any application for a refund would have to be made by the person who did the paperwork and arranged the holiday? I have some experience in arranging holidays and claiming refunds and any financial reimbursement was always made direct to me as the "party lead". In this case if OP has to subsequently do the work of applying for a refund then any payment will be made direct to her. Therefore she would have direct control over how the sum was disbursed. She should certainly claim some of the money to compensate her for the extra time and trouble.

Hey, life’s too short to quibble with family over this. Forget it and move on !

I’m confused. Did you pay for the entire cruise for all three of you? Or did you each pay one third each?
If you all paid one third I think the refund is due to your sister, however unfriendly she is, because she agreed to move to an inferior room.

Since it is only 680, just let it go. She obviously cherishes the money more than she cherishes the relationship with her sister. Let it go and let her go, too. Not worth the angst. If you want to take it a step further, you can congratulate her and wish her a nice gift to herself with the refund. Be the better person here.

I cannot imagine why you think your sister should share a refund (if she gets one) as she was the person who had the inferior accommodation and a cabin without a porthole. I am presuming that although you settled the account the other two paid their share?

Theexwife

If I have read this correctly you got what you paid for, better in fact as it was not three sharing, your sister however got a lesser cabin, so I would think that she is entitled to the refund, what would you be being refunded for?

I think I most agree with this answer.

Who agreed that it was your sister having the inferior cabin?

Why l asked who paid is because l think the cruise company would only reimburse the person who paid. Therefore sister will have to rely on you to complain and administer any refund. How can they "refund" your sister when she didn't pay them.

As you paid, I think it's most likely any refund would be to you.

she lives a few hundred miles away, she has stayed with us for a few days either side of any holiday so as to be near the airport. She has also stayed for Christmas, New Year etc at our expense. I have to admit that on the last few occasions I have found her “ hard work”. She has never been a warm person but her coldness and selfish behaviour have become more apparent. If she is successful in her recovery of some funds and keeps it to herself, I have no intention of holidaying with her again or being hospitable at other times of the year - it’s never reciprocated btw. I feel that at 60 I do not need her negativity in my life

As you have no intention to holiday with her if she is successful in recovery of funds and don't want her negativity in your life - let that be your answer. She lives away, leave her to herself.

If I have read this correctly you got what you paid for, better in fact as it was not three sharing, your sister however got a lesser cabin, so I would think that she is entitled to the refund, what would you be being refunded for?

Surely if you paid for the cruise any refund will automatically come to you, won’t it SuzeQ? I don’t imagine the tour operator will refund money to someone who didn’t pay in the first place.

Whatever, I agree with your DH, don’t let this come between you and your sister. I understand there are tensions between you anyway, but you had the cruise you paid for, so I’d rather forget it than let it fester between you.

I would look at the overall picture and not just the results of the holiday. Keep an eye on her general attitude towards you and your family and, if she is becoming more ego centric, meet like for like. Don't go on holiday with her anymore, keep the meetings to pre-arranged polite connection and go and do what you want with your friends. If a situation does arise, like you know she will ruin your arrangements i.e. Christmas, then try to meet up with her during an uneventful time and keep it short and impersonal. Whatever, good luck.

I have a sister very much the same and the dynamics have changed and I’m backing off.

Do you mean the other two didn’t pay any share towards their holiday well obviously you get any refund that puts a whole different light on it But you didn’t say that in your opening post you said you organised it you didn’t say you completely funded it for everyone ???

If you paid for the cruise SuzeQ I would have thought that the refund would be made to you?

The cabin may have been inferior but the OP's sister had a cabin to herself rather than sharing with 2 others. To my mind, if there is a refund it should be shared in a spirit of generousity. This was a shared holiday between three, organised by someone who has clearly always been very generous with her sister.

While I understand where the OP's DH is coming from, it seems to me that the rift between the two sisters is already there.

My instinct would be not to estrange her, but stop including her in your holidays and limit her visits to one or two non-seasonal weekends a year.