Unsure of how I should be feeling here

I have never been on holiday with either of my adult children, but one lot loves camping, water sports, climbing, the other lot loves hot countries, so I wouldn’t want to go, but it would be nice to be asked, especially now I am on my own.
OP it seems you have to accept that the annual family holidays are over, but maybe you could arrange something special. How about a city break or a trip based on a particular event? You might have to pay for it though!

I used to like spending time, one on one with my daughter.

That's part of the joy of having children - not particularly getting things paid for and taken care of by others, nice as that is.

I didn't always want others around.

eazybee

While it happened it was exactly that wasn’t it a family tradition an annual family holiday . Nothing wrong with that & it’s part & parcel of memories .
New memories are made & to be fair I needn’t of mentioned this in my OP really .

Theexwife

It is quite natural to feel upset that your family do not want to holiday with you but it is something you are going to have to accept and be thankful you did have holidays with them.

It was a family tradition in your mind, that doesn’t mean they were happy for it to be something they did every year.

Theexwife
I did not think they “did not want me to holiday with them “
More that I was a tad put out when we spoke about it that they thought ,I had enough holidays & also had a partner to go with, So thought I wouldn’t mind .
In reality I don’t mind as such but it would be nice to be asked .

Sarnia

My family have holidays together but only every 3-4 years. That way nobody feels obliged to do the same thing every year and can go elsewhere without anyone feeling left out or resentful they weren't asked. We had a big holiday this year. 18 of us plus 2 dogs celebrating a small wedding, and 70th.40th and 21st birthdays, all packed into a week. We all had a great time but that will be it for a few years now.

Sarnia
That sounds like a great idea & we have already spoken about doing so in 2025 .

Theexwife

It is quite natural to feel upset that your family do not want to holiday with you but it is something you are going to have to accept and be thankful you did have holidays with them.

It was a family tradition in your mind, that doesn’t mean they were happy for it to be something they did every year.

It was a family tradition in your mind, that doesn’t mean they were happy for it to be something they did every year.
Oh dear , Not happy that we were taking GC on a fully catered ,paid for holiday ? 😢😢

pascal
Yes , I do this ,he is invited always , it’s always a given that he is invited or will attend .

MissAdventure
Wyllow8

It wasn’t set in stone it just evolved , they asked are you ? We said yes.,
We do other things together , as a family with & without the GC . I just wanted others perspective on this .
As for my ex husband it is an unforgone conclusion that he is at every occasion,that’s just how it is & for the record that is not only fine with me but at my suggestion when the first GC arrived 20plus years ago,.
Yes, accommodation locally is also taken , booked etc .
Yes, youngest will now be at senior school next term ,giving an idea of ages .
I think all of which has been said in responses is exactly either in my thinking or what I have already done.
Notwithstanding I still can feel upset .

Tanith,
Not resentful ,I understand the invitation of the other parent . I do not accept that it could not be extended to myself at some point .
We did the whole taking GC away as I have said in OP many times & yes it has possibly been outgrown as the GC get older ,the youngest will be in senior school pretty soon the eldest Unit. We do still do family things together .however that is a whole different thing

I think most people take their children, grandchildren on holiday because they want to, not to set up a family tradition that will continue and be reciprocal.

AGAA4
I don’t expect to do everything with my family & didn’t like you have the privilege of having holidays with my DC & my own Parents ,who both passed over 40 years ago .
Yes, it was something of a tradition, like some of the other things all started by me some continued some sadly not . I accept that as time moves on things change in ways we have no control over . I also accept that we do different things .
I am not sure why others on here are saying get over it ,what is the matter of having family traditions & also I am still entitled to be a little upset at not being asked . Whether the other person has a partner or not I am also still the other parent & grandparent.

Wellbeck,
I obviously did not express myself as I should have done here, in fact anything that I or anyone else organises within our family he is included . I would go so far as to say that when he was invited to our wedding , danced all night long with my DH .!

I don’t have to include him as a special endeavour as he always is invited to anything I organise .

I’m sorry NanaTuesday, I know it’s disappointing (DS has changed what I thought was a family tradition recently and I was disappointed) but, as others have said, try not to dwell on it and enjoy the times you did have, and will have in the future. The future will not be the same as the past, it might even be better!

also it sounds as though you resent them spending time with their father, ? your ex, whom i presume does not have a partner or such a full life.
that sounds a bit mean.
he probably needs more attention than you do.
i don't know anything about it, but that's what strikes me.
be content and happy with all those points they enumerated.
they haven't cut you off, don't try to guilt-trip them.
that will definitely not improve relations.
you have to accept them as they are, with their own preferences.

It is quite natural to feel upset that your family do not want to holiday with you but it is something you are going to have to accept and be thankful you did have holidays with them.

It was a family tradition in your mind, that doesn’t mean they were happy for it to be something they did every year.

maybe they felt over organised by you, and just want to do their own thing.

hours!where did that come from

I have had a few hours holidays with my DD and DGC when they were younger but have never expected to go with them every time.
I never went on holiday with my own parents once I became an adult and they always went away with a group of friends and I would holiday with mine.
I understand if you feel upset that you haven't been included when you thought this was a tradition but ACs have their own lives and can make their own arrangements.
I would just move on from this and plan a holiday for yourselves.

We used to go camping for years in France and my parents joined us. I used to enjoy being with them but the time came when we preferred a different sort of holiday as the children were older. It was also at the time we were moving back to the UK.
My parents went away a lot - 4 months to the Canaries every winter so it never occurred to us that they would be upset.
They always did what they wanted to do so we felt it was only right to please ourselves.
I am sure it is just that the time for road trips with Granny and Grandad are past.

Different generations start their own family traditions, as others have said I’d be grateful for the memories and carry on booking your own breaks.

My family have holidays together but only every 3-4 years. That way nobody feels obliged to do the same thing every year and can go elsewhere without anyone feeling left out or resentful they weren't asked. We had a big holiday this year. 18 of us plus 2 dogs celebrating a small wedding, and 70th.40th and 21st birthdays, all packed into a week. We all had a great time but that will be it for a few years now.

We had a yearly ‘seaside’ holiday in the U.K. for years when my GC were young they all loved it and still talk about it but as with all families children grow, get partners and children of their own and go abroad. DH and I always loved it when we all got together but now on my own I make my own plans but love it if invited to join one of them with their own children on holiday.
I feel I had my time with them and now it’s their turn enjoy life. They don’t exclude me and I’m happy if I’m included or not but I have years of wonderful memories stored up. Please don’t feel resentful it’s their time.

I go away with one of my DDs and family occasionally. I spelt out to them when they first invited me that this need not set a precedent, that I knew they had their own lives to lead and that was fine by me. I was happy to be with them when it suited them and not when it didn't.

My other 2 DDs have never invited me away with them - I do not take offence. I think it is partly to do with their partners who are not as family-oriented. That's OK - everyone is different.

It sounds as though you are fit and well enough to go away as a couple and have a lovely time. E joy that. Unfortunately that is not possible for me at present because of ill health. I am envying you!!!

I agree, “family traditions” need to be completely flexible and suit ALL family members.

Just arrange a different kind of “family event/get together” which doesn’t require so much travel or so many days.

Treasure the times you did spend together and enjoy the memories.