Unsure of how I should be feeling here

Family “traditions” can be fraught with a lot of emotional baggage.
Just waiting for the Christmas threads to start!
You have a choice- say it’s a shame but never mind and nobody gets guilty or stressed; feel aggrieved and make them feel guilty; plan ahead for next year, suggest something joint or overlapping so you have some time together and some time on your own: shell out ££££££££ for a joint family holiday at your expense.
I love my AC dearly but would not want to necessarily spend my holiday with them as they are much (500%) more sporty and physical than I am , and IMO the only multigenerational holidays which work are where there is something for everybody - even NT houses!

It's a bit much, expecting the family to want to go away with you every year for the rest of their lives.

Nice occasionally, but I don't think people need to be held to that tradition.
As the grandchildren get older, things change, and so will your family's choices about where to go, and what to do.

It sounds as though they now want to go abroad with friends.. that sounds quite normal.. why don't you arrange a family get together for a special event and include their father.. maybe that could become an annual event if you like tradition..

When you say you ‘brought it up’, how exactly did you put it?
Maybe you didn’t make your feelings plain, or just mentioned it lightheartedly to avoid upset.
I wonder if your family would be surprised to see you talk about ‘upset’, ‘excluded’, ‘insult to injury’ or ‘annoyed’? Perhaps they have no idea how much importance you place on this ‘tradition’?
Just another example of how actually talking about things can save a lot of upset and bad feeling.

MissAdventure

It's a bit much, expecting the family to want to go away with you every year for the rest of their lives.

Nice occasionally, but I don't think people need to be held to that tradition.
As the grandchildren get older, things change, and so will your family's choices about where to go, and what to do.

I also wondered if the situation may have been altered as the GC are getting older and want different sorts of holidays. If its been since around 2015 they must be quite a lot older.

Is it possible to take a different approach and say that you realise after talking to them times have changed, which ways would it work out for everyone to meet up in different ways? If you cant stay at theirs, then stay nearby.

I agree, “family traditions” need to be completely flexible and suit ALL family members.

Just arrange a different kind of “family event/get together” which doesn’t require so much travel or so many days.

Treasure the times you did spend together and enjoy the memories.

I go away with one of my DDs and family occasionally. I spelt out to them when they first invited me that this need not set a precedent, that I knew they had their own lives to lead and that was fine by me. I was happy to be with them when it suited them and not when it didn't.

My other 2 DDs have never invited me away with them - I do not take offence. I think it is partly to do with their partners who are not as family-oriented. That's OK - everyone is different.

It sounds as though you are fit and well enough to go away as a couple and have a lovely time. E joy that. Unfortunately that is not possible for me at present because of ill health. I am envying you!!!

We had a yearly ‘seaside’ holiday in the U.K. for years when my GC were young they all loved it and still talk about it but as with all families children grow, get partners and children of their own and go abroad. DH and I always loved it when we all got together but now on my own I make my own plans but love it if invited to join one of them with their own children on holiday.
I feel I had my time with them and now it’s their turn enjoy life. They don’t exclude me and I’m happy if I’m included or not but I have years of wonderful memories stored up. Please don’t feel resentful it’s their time.

My family have holidays together but only every 3-4 years. That way nobody feels obliged to do the same thing every year and can go elsewhere without anyone feeling left out or resentful they weren't asked. We had a big holiday this year. 18 of us plus 2 dogs celebrating a small wedding, and 70th.40th and 21st birthdays, all packed into a week. We all had a great time but that will be it for a few years now.

Different generations start their own family traditions, as others have said I’d be grateful for the memories and carry on booking your own breaks.

We used to go camping for years in France and my parents joined us. I used to enjoy being with them but the time came when we preferred a different sort of holiday as the children were older. It was also at the time we were moving back to the UK.
My parents went away a lot - 4 months to the Canaries every winter so it never occurred to us that they would be upset.
They always did what they wanted to do so we felt it was only right to please ourselves.
I am sure it is just that the time for road trips with Granny and Grandad are past.

I have had a few hours holidays with my DD and DGC when they were younger but have never expected to go with them every time.
I never went on holiday with my own parents once I became an adult and they always went away with a group of friends and I would holiday with mine.
I understand if you feel upset that you haven't been included when you thought this was a tradition but ACs have their own lives and can make their own arrangements.
I would just move on from this and plan a holiday for yourselves.

hours!where did that come from

maybe they felt over organised by you, and just want to do their own thing.

It is quite natural to feel upset that your family do not want to holiday with you but it is something you are going to have to accept and be thankful you did have holidays with them.

It was a family tradition in your mind, that doesn’t mean they were happy for it to be something they did every year.

also it sounds as though you resent them spending time with their father, ? your ex, whom i presume does not have a partner or such a full life.
that sounds a bit mean.
he probably needs more attention than you do.
i don't know anything about it, but that's what strikes me.
be content and happy with all those points they enumerated.
they haven't cut you off, don't try to guilt-trip them.
that will definitely not improve relations.
you have to accept them as they are, with their own preferences.

I’m sorry NanaTuesday, I know it’s disappointing (DS has changed what I thought was a family tradition recently and I was disappointed) but, as others have said, try not to dwell on it and enjoy the times you did have, and will have in the future. The future will not be the same as the past, it might even be better!

I don’t have to include him as a special endeavour as he always is invited to anything I organise .

Wellbeck,
I obviously did not express myself as I should have done here, in fact anything that I or anyone else organises within our family he is included . I would go so far as to say that when he was invited to our wedding , danced all night long with my DH .!

AGAA4
I don’t expect to do everything with my family & didn’t like you have the privilege of having holidays with my DC & my own Parents ,who both passed over 40 years ago .
Yes, it was something of a tradition, like some of the other things all started by me some continued some sadly not . I accept that as time moves on things change in ways we have no control over . I also accept that we do different things .
I am not sure why others on here are saying get over it ,what is the matter of having family traditions & also I am still entitled to be a little upset at not being asked . Whether the other person has a partner or not I am also still the other parent & grandparent.

I think most people take their children, grandchildren on holiday because they want to, not to set up a family tradition that will continue and be reciprocal.

Tanith,
Not resentful ,I understand the invitation of the other parent . I do not accept that it could not be extended to myself at some point .
We did the whole taking GC away as I have said in OP many times & yes it has possibly been outgrown as the GC get older ,the youngest will be in senior school pretty soon the eldest Unit. We do still do family things together .however that is a whole different thing

MissAdventure
Wyllow8

It wasn’t set in stone it just evolved , they asked are you ? We said yes.,
We do other things together , as a family with & without the GC . I just wanted others perspective on this .
As for my ex husband it is an unforgone conclusion that he is at every occasion,that’s just how it is & for the record that is not only fine with me but at my suggestion when the first GC arrived 20plus years ago,.
Yes, accommodation locally is also taken , booked etc .
Yes, youngest will now be at senior school next term ,giving an idea of ages .
I think all of which has been said in responses is exactly either in my thinking or what I have already done.
Notwithstanding I still can feel upset .

pascal
Yes , I do this ,he is invited always , it’s always a given that he is invited or will attend .