The "one"

I think the question here OP, is why you would take the word of his Ex, over his? If you don't believe him, to the extent that you would risk calling a woman who you've never spoken to before, and asking her very personal questions about her relationship with an ex, then it's clear you don't trust him, in which case it's clearly time to end it.

I would then ask myself why I didn't believe him in the first place, was it that you've caught him out in other lies, or have you perhaps been let down by a lying man previously, and can't believe your good luck in finding someone who clearly thinks the world of you, if he's calling you 'the one'.

Maybe he did tell his ex that she was 'the one', but then things went wrong, and he simply realised that wasn't the case. After all, have you never thought yourself to be in love with someone, told them so, and then found out something about them which totally puts you off?

I really think you need to work on your self confidence, and stop worrying about past relationships.

If this is a fake post one has to feel sorry for the OP who probably has too much time to write such a long post

Personally, I think the whole idea of 'the one' is quite ridiculous. There are probably dozens 'the ones' around but you, and they have never met them so never had the opportunity to beom the one.

As far as I am concerned, what happened in any past relationships you and he have had are in the past and what either of you did and said to previous partners, (unless the relationship was abusive in any way) is as if it never happened.

All your post reveals is that you have too much time on your hands. Get a hobby, another job, or something else to occupy your time and stop wasting time on these silly speculations.

Ava25 why have you resurrected this post it’s over two months old

Does Putin do this sort of thing in his spare time?😁

eazybee

I am astonished that his ex was so tolerant of your queries about her former relationship. If of course this is true.

So are you. 🤦🏼‍♀️ It’s not real. It’s a computer.

Ava25

You haven't been met with the kindness you asked for and I'm sorry about that. I understand your feelings. We all like to feel special to our partners and to hear that he said to her what he has said to you is obviously going to sting. Is there more to why you have pursued this? I get the feeling there may be underlying issues in your relationship which have made you question his intent. I think you need a frank discussion with yourself and him.

Your ^talking to a BOT.🤦🏼‍♀️

I am astonished that his ex was so tolerant of your queries about her former relationship. If of course this is true.

MrsDoreenx

I know that but its the fact he said that he never said that in the first place to anyone only me

You ask for people to be kind. But you have posted a whinging load of self-obsessed rubbish that I find impossible to be kind about. If this is all you have to worry about, you are lucky.
Some of us have cancer, some have lost beloved partners but we carry on. We don’t post it all over GN and neither should you!
On top of all that, I think this might be a fake post!

Georgesgran

THIS IS A FAKE POST!

It absolutely is! Why do I always fall for them??

Why are you digging up all this stuff out of the graveyard?

You haven't been met with the kindness you asked for and I'm sorry about that. I understand your feelings. We all like to feel special to our partners and to hear that he said to her what he has said to you is obviously going to sting. Is there more to why you have pursued this? I get the feeling there may be underlying issues in your relationship which have made you question his intent. I think you need a frank discussion with yourself and him.

THIS IS A FAKE POST!

MrsDoreenx
I’ve so far not read any of the other responses to your OP .
My take on your ‘ dilemma’ as that’s what this is .
You are overthinking the whole thing ,this man who you say makes you feel like his No1 has been with you for 4years which surely shows commitment.
Haven’t we all said something that we have probably in reality previously said to another partner. Without knowing at the time it’s surely a universal thing in any language.
So he said “ You are the one” his previous partner was also his one that point in time .
You went behind his back & contacted her asking her personal details regarding their relationship. That strikes me as insecurities that you have .
The best way to go forward is to let your partner know how you feel talk about it & I am sure it will be fine , but don’t go behind his back .
There really are far worse crimes a Man can commit & one little white lie is not a crime , an oversight possibly but not enough to throw away something good.

Moggycuddler I quite agree, there were 2 other men in my youth where our relationship could easily have developed into love and marriage, the relationship was positive on both sides, but the time and circumstances were not propitious. Instead it was the relationship with my very dear and much loved H that came to fruition. I do not love him the less for that, nor would I have loved the others the more, had theirs been the relationship that ended in marriage.

I don't believe in "the one" either. It's nonsense. What if you live in the UK and your "one" lives in China and you never meet? Many widowed people who were very happy and greatly loved their partner marry again and love their second partner just as much. We can love more than once. Even if at the time we feel that there would never be anyone else for us. This does not lessen our love. Simply that love can come again.

I think you have too much time on your hands and don’t get out enough, whatever your age and situation. Please enjoy his company, take life one day at a time and accept that he cares about you. Find somewhere to volunteer and help people in need or join a hobby group of some kind. What you are doing is like planting seeds then constantly digging them up to see if they are growing well.Try not to spend time obsessing about what sounds like a good relationship.

Oh do we need to engage this is so silly and such a pull your leg thread

This is getting so tedious. Your the one. Yuk on all levels.

Tbh you have found someone who is ‘the one’ for you, and he has said you are ‘the one’ for him. Whether he said before is not that important, at least the ex you spoke to didn’t say he is a serial cheater and that you should head for the hills. Telling you that he said similar things to her is hardly a deal breaker, some people repeat themselves if they think they have coined a nice phrase.
Stop agonising and enjoy your relationship. Life is too short.

I think the children are going back to school a few days earlier than usual this year.
Might venture out to do some shopping 🛍️

and a sthis thread runs out of steam, somene has started another one on exactly the same subject.

Bored now, yawn.

I agree 100% flappergirl. Tiresome springs to my mind to be honest.
Doesn’t like the responses given, so keeps going on and on in the hope that the responses will change to suit what she wants to hear, I suspect - but they won’t, of course.

Yet another one me thinks.

My partner of 45 years had a wife like you. Then she was the ex wife. Do you get that.
I think it was you who badgered him to say your the one
Be careful what you wish for.