Mean or frugal?

He sounds very pernickety.

Not a good trait.

I think the red flag is that he missed out the meal you paid for.
With someone as pernickity as he seems to be, I doubt it was an oversight.
I would certainly point out his error and suggest he might find an app (of which there are many) that deals with bill splitting fairly.
Then I'd run a mile.

I go with the PAYG method, much better.

If this makes you uncomfortable then , I would call it a day .
A simple oversight -and you are sent an account ?
It doesn't bode well for the future, does it ?

Sent an account showing that he owed the OP money though…

And I would think missing out the other meal she paid for was an oversight, as he’d no need to draw up the account at all.

He may be pernickety (and I’d agree that’s not an attractive trait), but he’s not being mean, imho.

Run as fast as you can, he's mean. If he;s like this now I guess he could be very controlling if you married or in a committed relationship. Otherwise, have a kitty and don't overspend, but I'd give him the heave-ho a.s.a.p.

If you are happy to divide costs equally and not quibble about slight differences there is a great app called split share. You each add what you pay for and it balances it out so you settle up with each other at the end.

Maybe he is getting a bit hard up, which made him check out who had paid what. He was surprised you had paid more but then felt he ought to give what he owed.
You could say something like, Aren't things getting expensive! I am having to cut back quite a bit, and see what his reaction is.

It is a big red flag. It will continue for the rest of your relationship if you were hoping that your relationship was going somewhere. I would keep the relationship casual and not exclusive.

I think you should speak to him and ask why the sudden change to your usual cost sharing. Is there a reason for this sudden change? Let him know you're uncomfortable with such account keeping/penny pinching and decide together if there's a better way to sort out any future trips - that's if you want to carry on the relationship.

I have an allergy to folks that are mean.
My friends husband is mean about absolutely everything.
Frugal is good mean is horrid.
My thoughts on your friend are that he’s possibly not wanting you to think he’s taking advantage. (Thus giving you an accurate breakdown, indicating you’ve overpaid) A meanie wouldn’t do that!!
I’d have a chat with him just to ensure he’s not a meanie ( Oh I do hope he’s just careful)
He may just eventually be the careful love of your life - have a chat!

Get rid! Life is too short to be haggling over stuff like this. My first husband was like that and it makes life miserable.

Its not really mean, more frugal, but he doesn't sound like the sort of person to be swept away on a tidal wave of passion.
I suppose it depends on what you're looking for.

I agree...red flag for me!

I concur...give him the heave ho!

There is an app that can do all the calculations for you if you so wish, this is something we use when we go away en masse with family, but none of us are worried by small amounts one way or the other in the end. Can’t stand meanness so I would be having a chat with him before going forward with this relationship.

He sounds very ‘calculating’ and mean. Very unattractive traits.
When someone isn’t generous (and often people who don’t have the money are generous to a fault, just because they are warm hearted), it can erode your feelings until you actively dislike them and avoid them.
I speak from experience.
Make a list of plus’s and minuses for this person before you continue the relationship.
.

Like many of the posters upthread I have mainly used a PAYG kitty purse for mutual expenses when we were together as we would tend to spend similar on meals. When apart we each met out own separate expenses. I could not be bothered with a "your meal cost 2 euros more than mine" approach. However if it were 10-20 euros I would want to even it out.

Presenting you with a statement of account seems a bt odd and I would definitely comment upon this and your preference for the previous arrangement. If he is just a "holiday companion" rather than a long term partner it will depend upon how you feel about the financial arrangement.

If the man was mean, I think he'd have worked things out and as he owes money, he'd have said nothing. However, if you don't feel comfortable asking him why he thought this was a good idea, I'd suggest he wasn't for you. Or, you are not for him! You can also ask him at the same time if he would like things to work out in future. Any successful relationship relies on people being open and honest with each other whether it is a friendship or more.

Get rid of him

Don't just let this go. Sit the man down and explain as you have here, that you were suprised to be presented with a detailed account, as you assumed that your usual agreement about paying things in turn would be used this time. Ask him why the change and see what he says. And point out, that he has left a meal you paid for out of his careful audit!

You talked about days out - does this mean that you have never before been away together for a whole weekend or other overnight stay?

I don't know if this is relevant, but it might be.

A lot of us are feeling the pinch, due to inflation and rising prices, could this be the case with your friend.

But discuss it with him - there is no point in putting the discussion off, as by doing so, you could be thought by him to be tacitly agreeing to a new arrangement.

If you enjoy his company, it strikes me as being a little drastic to drop him because of this, and unkind, unless you explain that you are deeply offended by this behaviour on his part.

He sounds a right fun sponge.
I’d run a mile personally.

CRIKEY! I would perhaps email him back and say 'I think you missed off the meal I paid for" that should even things out. Why don't you ask him why, all of a sudden, he has done this, there might be a reason for it, especially if this has never happened before.

That's very 'off', what is he thinking of. Pay him £20 - say no more about it and be too busy with other things to spend any more time with him. If he cares at all about you, it will be up to him to explain. If not, you've saved yourself becoming over invested in him.

I think he was being frugal and I kind of question his error. Someone who produces accounts doesn’t generally make mistakes because, if nothing else, they are methodical.
Keep him as a friend for occasional meet ups but I see a red flag here. In my experience tight people get tighter as time goes on!