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Friendship on the rocks

(29 Posts)
sparkle1234 Sat 26-Oct-24 14:04:29

We've been friends with another couple for over 40 years . Since we've all retired and because of covid we seem to have drifted apart. They live 2 hours away but we always made the effort both ways , have enjoyed holidays and weekends together etc but two things seem to have divided us over the last couple of years . Another couple started joining in with us and our foursome became six . We started to feel like the spares , then they started inviting us to stuff on dates when they knew we wouldn't be able to come , because we were away on holiday or had other engagements that we had previously mentioned .A pattern started to emerge and there would never be any discussion about changing the date of the get togethers so we could all join in .
We have a WhatsApp group which we'd previously used to arrange social events but they don't use it anymore, the arrangements are made between them and then we're invited and always on occasions when they know we can't come . We recently celebrated a big anniversary and were going to invite them to join us on a Villa holiday but 6 months before the two ladies told me they were having a girls week away and did I want to join them , on my big anniversary !! Surprised, surprise !!!
My husband now feels the friendship has run its course , he doesn't want to know anymore . We're being civil , answering messages etc but that's as far as it goes . Feeling like I'm back in the school playground to be honest and a bit hurt and disappointed that we can be so easily disposed of .Has anyone had experience of this and how did you deal with it ?

Tuaim Sun 27-Oct-24 11:55:02

We met recently some people we hadn't seen in over 30 years. We drifted apart as the husband had a bit of chip on his shoulder about not being educated and they spent their lives amassing wealth and had a good inheritance. All they did was show off 35 years ago. We met them again recently and they said we must meet up but had not changed as they still went on about how marvellous they all were and how much wealth they had accrued. We just said we are in the 'phone book if you want to meet up. Never heard from them again but tried to be polite and sound interested at the time as it would have been rude otherwise.

Cossy Sun 27-Oct-24 11:58:58

sparkle1234

If we try to organise something they're busy , doing this , then that , the next few months are pretty much booked etc .... pretty much given up with that and tbh I think we'd be expected to include the other couple in whatever and then it's definitely twos company and you're the crowd .
Yes I could tell them how I feel but it all seems so school girlish and I do feel if you let people know you're hurt it just gives them the power to do it all the more

I think your friends are behaving rudely and selfishly!

I would tell them this, then be done with them!

Role Sun 27-Oct-24 12:10:20

Crazy H ‘Personally, I think it’s the other couple, stirring.’ Me too. Why haven’t the other couple some long established friends of their own to hang out with?