Entitled or is it just me, a generational thing maybe.

MissAdventure

I could tell you I think the friend is a rude cow, but I'm not sure how well that would be received.
So I won't.

Nor will I MissA.

Though, having a birthday just after Christmas. I get the joint present thing. There are ways of saying things Though, aren't there?

My youngest DGD has a birthday on the 4th January. We always buy separate Christmas and Birthday presents. Her birthday present is always a small gift plus I give her some money so that she can buy something in the summer.
Dictating about gifts for a 1 year old seems a little OTT to me.

Ill-bred would be my description.

Of my grandchildren as birthday on Boxing Day. One year one grandparent gave the birthday boy a book and the two other grandchildren present got their Christmas gifts, a bike each. Needles to say the birthday child was upset.

Seriously why should a child get a combined or cheap gift (from someone who doesn’t have money pressures) just because their birthday falls next to Christmas. I expect the mum in question was trying to encourage a pattern where the birthday doesn’t get overlooked

As a child, we didn’t see relatives at Christmas, so everything came by post. One aunt sent my birthday present in with the Christmas parcel, three weeks late for my birthday. The other aunt sent my birthday present in May, along with my sister’s for her May birthday. I was not impressed. So I can seethe point about wanting to keep birthday separate from Christmas, but the way it was put in the OP is both entitled and rude.

My friends eldest son has his birthday on Boxing Day, the family would have a birthday tea for him on the day and then during the summer he would choose one day when they would do something special.
Separate gifts unless there was something expensive he wanted.
But I agree your daughters friend is going OTT for a one year old, and odd to give a list of gifts.

Rude, the world has gone mad.

A token gift and a donation to charity.

I don't like gift lists. I'll just give money if I've no ideas.

Perhaps young mum has quite small house, attempting less clutter?

If she was attempting less clutter, wouldn't she prefer one gift for both occasions rather than insisting there be a gift for each?

One of mine was a Christmas baby. Most people did 2 presents or one present plus cash for the second present. Occasionally it was a big present as a combined present for something they wanted. Better one big present they want than two cheaper ones they aren't interested in. Obviously not fair to do one present to the value they'd spend on another child just for Christmas.

I have no problem with making sure that Christmas birthdays get 2 separate cards and presents. I have no problem with being given gift suggestions, if I've asked for that. I have a massive problem with anyone dictating what I will give and how I'll give it. I'd solve that problem by giving you nothing.

Harsh on the one year old.

MissAdventure

I could tell you I think the friend is a rude cow, but I'm not sure how well that would be received.
So I won't.

Exactly. In fairness though, I don't think I'd ever send a joint xmas/birthday present, but they could take their list of 'suitable gifts' and stick it where the sun doesn't shine! It's different if someone has asked for suggestions of things they could give.

I can see how the parents of the kid may want to set up boundaries and not want the kid have his birthday ignored in rbe future

I have heard of kids whose bday falls on Xmas- how disappointing it was for them

Team parents

You can always invest half the money on a Xmas present and the other half on a bday present - no biggie

Well I was born on the 26th November 1951 and my father, born on February 1st 1920, insisted from my first birthday that my birthday and Christmas presents were not to be combined.

He had watched his elder sister and younger brother receive separate birthday presents ( the one in August, the other in March) while he was given combined presents.

So no, the young mother is not being rude or "entitled" simply expressing a preference which is sensible. Her manner may have been unfortunate - that I cannot judge, but the principle is good enough, and as the two dates given above clearly show no new thing.

The one year old wouldn't know theworriedwell.

When I was pregnant with my first baby - due date at the end of January - my in-laws bought me baby clothes for my Christmas present!

I do feel that the friend is rather rude and with the child being only a year old, he won't know any different will he? Maybe the mother doesn't want anyone to set a precedent?

One of my DC was born Christmas week. I did feel that birthday celebrations got lost amid Christmas. Also children who got party invites before the school broke up forgot about it.
One year I did a half birthday. So he had a party in June. That went down very well!

I am a Christmas Day baby and my mother said that I should have twp presents, even if they were very small. My Christmas presents were opened in the morning and my birthday ones at tea time when there was a Birthday party for all the children who lived near by (complete with Father Christmas). As I got older family members and close friends have usually given two separate gifts. I know why my mother wanted this, it was so that I didn't get just one present each year when the others got two. (by the way this was during the war. )

Smileless so it's ok to punish a one year old because parents have sent a list of suggested presents? They can't force people to buy from the list but personally I'd rather have an idea of what would be useful. I certainly wouldn't refuse to buy the baby a present for me it is about the principle not if the baby knows. If that's how we judge it why buy any one year old a present, they won't know will they.

My late MIL was a Boxing Day baby. Growing up she never had separate presents, always one combined, which was never the value of gettinv two.

She hated her birth date

punish a one year old!!! A one year old isn't going to know it's his/her birthday or that it's Christmas theworriedwell so how can the child be being punished?

Yes to two separate presents , no to a list for a one year old . However it does seem to be a thing now. My goddaughter has always sent a list for her dd now 5 . But that’s because she doesn’t want plastic tat or gendered toys . She wants educational or wooden toys and says her friends are the same .

My middle grandson was born on Boxing Day (a couple of hours earlier and it would have been Christmas Day!) He's always had separate presents, but I always ask if there's anything he needs. DD knows better than to start issuing orders about things like colour schemes. He has a birthday cake on his birthday and a birthday party in the summer.

Smileless do you ever buy for a one year old? Why? They don't know. Children in my family or friends is going to be treated the same as the others. If you want to leave a child out because you don't like the parents doing a list that's your decision but it isn't something I'd do.