Entitled or is it just me, a generational thing maybe.

I could tell you I think the friend is a rude cow, but I'm not sure how well that would be received.
So I won't.

I can understand the joint present problem here. One of my sons has a birthday close to Christmas and was often overlooked when he was small. I don't see a terrible problem with a list either but then it saves me the trouble of asking what a grandchild might like. Less embarrassment for me if I don't not know what it is they enjoy at the moment.

Oh my word
I wouldn't be attending any birthday celebrations or sending gifts
Who would want a friend like that?
Poor child

I'd have thought that anyone sending gifts would send one for the birthday and one for Christmas, not that a one year old would understand anyway.

When our boys were little, if we were asked for suggestions we'd give them, but never presumed to send a list of suitable gifts. Like you Shoulddobetta we were simply grateful for any presents they did receive, and when they were old enough, ensured that they were grateful too.

totally entitled.. very unacceptable IMO

We had all this when my(now middle-aged ) stepdaughter had her first child. , also near Xmas. There was a list of acceptable presents to choose from.
Without any prompting from me her Father (my husband) told her that we would be buying an expensive present "X" so that would be a combined Xmas and birthday present and that was that.
An inexpensive "token" second present would have been more diplomatic but I figured her father had a reason for the decision so I left it.
Two more children later we give them vouchers or cash. We've tried clothes but they either don't fit or don't suit. With vouchers or cash the children get the fun of choosing and we're not wasting money.
I think that the "demand" for two separate presents in this case is outrageous.What if you can't afford it ?
Get a new friend!!

My father (Noel of course) was born on Christmas Day and I remember him telling me how disappointed he used to be In receiving one big present from his aunts!

Yes, I have a Christmas baby too and she sometimes received just the one gift, people saying that would 'do for both'.
Most people didn't, though, they gave two, wrapped in suitable paper.

However, I might be declining that kind invitation!

We have four family birthdays very close to Christmas, always two gifts, and separate birthday themed celebrations.

Birthdays are special for the birthday person (and of course the parents who produced them 🤣)

Smileless2012

I'd have thought that anyone sending gifts would send one for the birthday and one for Christmas, not that a one year old would understand anyway.

When our boys were little, if we were asked for suggestions we'd give them, but never presumed to send a list of suitable gifts. Like you Shoulddobetta we were simply grateful for any presents they did receive, and when they were old enough, ensured that they were grateful too.

My husband has his birthday near Christmas.

The amount of joint gifts received from extended family as a child was shocking.

One of my closest friends was born the 26th December. She rarely got to have a party and most gifts were joint.

That people still do this makes me sad. I think the mother was just clumsily setting the stage for ensuring her child wasn’t lost in the shuffle.

Yes I can see that Summerlove, but telling prospective present givers that on no account are they to send one gift and a list of suitable gifts I find rather rude.

Wow!

This has got me thinking. My daughter’s fiancé has birthday on December 27th. For a Christmas gift I got them a joint present of tickets to a show, it was quite pricey and I was going to say it’s for his birthday as well. Now I am going to buy him something special for his birthday.

I know a Christmas baby who had an Official Birthday (like the Queen) in January, so had 2 separate presents and a date for a party some years, just like everyone else in the family. Happy Birthday X was always the first greeting on Christmas Day, then Happy Christmas to everyone.

I'm sure that like all parents these days they want to make a big deal of 'babies first birthday' and 'babies first Christmas'. From a practical point of view it means they won't receive duplicates of loads of things they don't want.

Depends on whether they are all part of a group of good friends who buy each other's children gifts or whether it came out of the blue. I think the list idea is helpful but unless they have discussed things previously the friend seems to be taking a lot for granted by assuming all her friends will want to be buying gifts for her one year old.

I have a little Gdd whose birthday is in very early January - so far I don’t think anybody has given a combined present. Must ask Dbro (21st Dec birthday) whether he ever got any. I’m 4 years older but certainly don’t remember any.

I went to school with a girl whose birthday was Christmas day , most family members made the effort to give her two presents suitably wrapped, and until she was in her late teens she had her birthday party in June.

I think to give out a list of suitable gifts at that age or any age is not acceptable , if I am stuck on ideas I phone the parents and ask if there is anything the child would like if not it is pot luck whether they like my gift or not .

I don't have a problem with people asking for the child to have separate birthday and Christmas presents. Sending instructions is OTT.

I'd be inclined to reply "That's OK, I wasn't going to send a present anyway!"

No you're not being oversensitive. It's downright rude to dictate about presents. Yet another sad sign of the times :-( I would on no account be dictated to about a child's presnt! They shoud have the manners to be grateful for what they receive.

Yes, this is what got me!

As one of the people with my birthday very close to Christmas - I can tell you that the child themselves might well turn round in years to come and capitalise on that being the case with their parents. I never had that much in the way of presents - so I learnt to maximise what I got by asking for a combined "two presents worth" present at that point - so I could have a higher value present.

In today's figures of what I personally got given by my parents (ie mother) I'd say maybe she'd have got me £25/£30 worth for Christmas and then same again for my birthday. So that meant I got equivalent of a £50-£60 present that did for both (that was counting out clothes I needed/was due to be bought anyway and only counting the presents that really were presents - ie more luxury extras and not necessities that were given at that time and wrapped to state they were "presents").

Maybe that child with a "near Christmas" birthday will do the same to their parents when they're older....though I guess it's all a question of how many "real presents - ie not necessities they gotta have anyway" that child gets.

But it could be that the parent wants to start on the footing of the child's birthday not being overlooked - which I do know is something that can happen for Christmas type birthdays and so I did want/get separate presents for those occasions from other relatives and would have felt "forgotten" if there'd been no present from them at my birthday. I would certainly have asked my parents why my brother (born in August) got presents at his birthday - whilst January me didn't do so. It would have very much been the case of "He has presents personally - but I don't!!!!!! Why not?"

So I do think the parents are being perfectly correct to expect separate presents - especially if they've got (or hope to have) another child. Children do watch for any sign of favouritism with any siblings they have and will mentally chalk it up - even if they don't say anything.

Wheniwasyourage

I know a Christmas baby who had an Official Birthday (like the Queen) in January, so had 2 separate presents and a date for a party some years, just like everyone else in the family. Happy Birthday X was always the first greeting on Christmas Day, then Happy Christmas to everyone.

DD decided to have an Official Birthday in the summer holidays for a couple of years but it never felt quite the same.
Do you celebrate the birthday early or late 🤔

As a Christmas Day baby myself I sometimes got joint Christmas/ birthday presents and, although I was grateful for the thought, I would also be annoyed. After all, if someone’s birthday is in August for example I feel sure they would not receive a joint present. What’s worse is a Christmas card with a footnote of ‘Happy Birthday’.

MissAdventure

I could tell you I think the friend is a rude cow, but I'm not sure how well that would be received.
So I won't.

😂😂😂😂😂
👏👏👏👏👏

I absolutely agree!