to feel taken for granted?

Nah, wouldn't bother me in the least! I'm quite happy to wait on my adult children, they have very busy stressful lives and I'm more than happy to help them if I can. They're always grateful and appreciate any help I offer, and to be honest, I gain a lot of pleasure from helping them and their families.

With so many of my kids/ grandkids living abroad I d absolutely love a pile of washing in exchange for seeing them

Exactly! Even substituting “away” for “abroad” - it’s what mums do 💝

I can’t see a problem.

I would expect to do any washing left behind.

I thought at first the clean clothes would have to be sent back to Australia, which was a bit much, but now I see she leaves them here for future use, so no big deal.

Just get over it, a non issue.

No need for a ‘rant’.

Just seen, she lives ‘abroad’, Australia not mentioned!

Apologies, my DD lives in Oz so that’s where my mind wandered to.

It wouldn't bother me at all.

I'm doing my DS washing at the moment as he has only just found a new home after an awful marriage break up. He hopes to get a washing machine in the new year.

I don't mind at all, that's what mum's are for.

Wouldn’t bother me. It’s just what Mums do.

I’ve always done DD2’s laundry and now do DGS2’s as well, aiming for twice a week. I just mix it in with mine. She is disabled, a mum and holds down a stressful job, so if it saves her a job and costs me a few £s in extra energy, so be it.
I’d do DD1’s too, but she has refused the offer many times.

My darling elder daughter died seven years ago, oh I long for
her, be thankful your daughter is still with you

I bet you wish that you hadn’t posted now OP! Everyone jumping down your throat! I’m sure it was just a passing thought….we are all human after all.

petal53

It wouldn’t bother me. I’d just wash them.

Same here, can’t see a problem if they’re clothes she leaves here.

Poppyred

I bet you wish that you hadn’t posted now OP! Everyone jumping down your throat! I’m sure it was just a passing thought….we are all human after all.

Lord above, though, some of the replies! Who’d even think of binning perfectly good clothes in any situation, let alone this one? It’s not as if we have to break our backs over the posser and washboard these days, is it?

Hugs for you, Anniebach.

Anniebach

My darling elder daughter died seven years ago, oh I long for
her, be thankful your daughter is still with you

As you know already, Annie, my beloved son died in the same way as your daughter. What I would give to pick up his washing.

You’re being guilt tripped as well now OP, so sorry.

I bet she forgot it was there in the rush of leaving and would be horrified that you feel as you do!

My daughter and her three children have just boarded and taken off from New Zealand. They’re coming here for four weeks over the Christmas/New Year period. I will be doing all their washing for the next four weeks along with ours.

And we’ve just bought coats for two of the children since it’s summer there and they’ve grown out of their winter coats, and an older cousin has donated an almost new ski jacket (only worn for a week’s skiing) for his younger cousin. I may be using my M+S app to get a few more winter things for them, or popping to nearby Matalan or Asda to pick up some bits for them. We don’t mind, we’ll do anything to help them.

We paid for their plane tickets too, she’s a single mum with an uncooperative ex. We want to help.

Poppyred this thread is in Am I Being Unreasonable. That is why people are giving certain opinions. Many posters think the OP is being unreasonable. The OP asked the question. People have given honest response. I agree, some are harsh and not what I would agree with.

I'd have the hump if it was my daughter.
Not enough to fall out over, but I'd be peeved, because I don't like waiting on grown ups.

Poppyred

I bet you wish that you hadn’t posted now OP! Everyone jumping down your throat! I’m sure it was just a passing thought….we are all human after all.

Yes. Its funny!
It's one of those threads where the answers read ...
" Says more about the O/P than the daughter"
"It’s quite strange to see the things that upset people these days!"
"I think an awful lot of people aren't happy unless they have something to moan about."
" Are you yourself perfect?"
😂 😂

However, I never realised there was an AIBU category for threads. Or I never realised what it stood for! I think I'll try that next time I want a bit of fun!

Throw it all in the bin.

You are probably tired. Having house guests is tiring but still lovely to have your children back home for a little while. You have had a little rant, that takes any negative pressure out of your head. So, you can move on and not make an issue out of this. For those people who suggest throwing their adult children's clothes in the bin etc. Be careful, they may assume that you have early onset dementia, if this sort of thing is quite out of character for you. I think, just let it go.

MissAdventure

I'd have the hump if it was my daughter.
Not enough to fall out over, but I'd be peeved, because I don't like waiting on grown ups.

Exactly this, I would not dream of doing washing and Ironing for mine unless it was due to illness of an emergency. When do your children learn to manage their own lives if you constantly muddle cuddle them ? They leave the nest as adults and to lead their own lives. I have my own life and a busy one at that. So yes I would be miffed too, but would not fall out over it, we do not fall out in our family, because we know each others' boundaries. You are NOT being unreasonable at all OP.

pascal30

she's reverted to teenagehood again hasn't she.. obviously feels very safe and loved at home..

Yes it’s odd how that happens, I used to go home and just sort of expected things to be done for me! I was an adult with 2 small children but still reverted to ‘Mum looks after me’ mode…. Until it became obvious my parents couldn’t cope so I took over then! This was decades ago now my parents both long dead and me almost as old as they were… but go back in time and I would probably revert to ‘teenager mode’ again, it’s automatic, however much you are used to doing your own chores away from ‘ home’!

I am biased because I rather like doing son's washing within reason.