Boarding school

Grams2five

I wouldn’t have and didn’t send mine to boarding school and I wouldn’t have married a man who’s career made such a thing a necessary. If careers had meant we had to travel the world we would have , Never in a thousand years would I have considered it. I had children because I wanted to be with them and raise them as much as I could in the time I had I’ve never for a moment understood how or why anyone would choose to use boarding schools. Nannies and other things for daytime care i understand though never used it myself. But to have ones children actually live elsewhere is so terribly sad to me.

Well said . My point exactly. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

I'd have hated it. I used to be terribly homesick even going on school residential trips

Dickens

Norah

Dickens

Norah

I don't understand why people can't change jobs. However, I accept some don't wish to find different work, their choice.

Maybe because for some it can be more complicated than simply swapping one job for another?

I merely said I don't understand.

My husband never faced job swap complication. Quite lucky, really.

I merely said I don't understand

And I simply gave you a possible reason why for some - though clearly not for you - it's not always easy to just ^change jobs.^

Curious, may I ask why not? There are many jobs.

Perhaps I misunderstand the words change jobs.

It depends. Some boarding schools are better at education than others. Some boarding schools are better at protecting children from bullying than are some day schools.

Skydancer

I can never, ever understand why anyone puts work or career before their children. If you have them you should look after them. I did and we were poor but happy.

Good job we don't all think the same way then. Wanting to work or have a career isn't a bad thing, and it doesn't necessarily mean that you are putting that before your children. The days have long gone when women were expected to give up everything for their family. If someone choose to be a stay-at-home mum, then good for them. It's a bl**dy hard job and I couldn't have done it, so I take my hat off to anyone who chooses to do so. Thankfully, these days most women do have the choice. I would have gone stark raving mad being stuck at home with kids all day, so my children were far better off with a mother who had a career which she loved. They did not suffer because of that - quite the opposite, in fact.

still wonder now why British forces don't have schools.

I think I’ve tried to explain this before. They do, but not beyond the age of 11. There are primary schools at most British military bases around the world, but when secondary education kicks in it’s a different ballgame. There are added difficulties with large NATO bases which have international communities.

Greyduster

^still wonder now why British forces don't have schools^.

I think I’ve tried to explain this before. They do, but not beyond the age of 11. There are primary schools at most British military bases around the world, but when secondary education kicks in it’s a different ballgame. There are added difficulties with large NATO bases which have international communities.

I asked, I read what you posted prior to now.

I tried to work out why schooling can't be provided beyond age 11, it makes no sense to not provide well for workers' families.

Even if there was a secondary school at every British base abroad, it would not provide the stability that a boarding education can provide. I am only talking about the Army here; the RAF have longer post as a rule, but the average army posting is two to two and a half years. If the child comes into school at the start of secondary, he will be less than halfway through before he has to change schools with all the disruption that that entails. If he comes into school when he is part way through his GCSEs, he not only faces a change of syllabus, but possibly a new exam regime. It could even happen at a stage where exams are looming. It’s infinitely preferable for the child to begin his secondary education in a stable environment, to bed himself in socially and educationally and not have the disruption of changing schools at all. If I haven’t explained myself properly, I apologise, but how many parents would want to have to suddenly yank their children out of a school where they may be doing well academically, and then plonk them down again in a strange school that they might hate, with a different curriculum and exam regime? It’s not as if service parents have no control over which boarding school their children are sent to. We had reasonable choice based on the allowances we were entitled to.

Actually, having been married to an RAF man, we tended to move every 2 years. My 3 boys regularly changed schools. We asked our eldest if he’d like to go to boarding school, and suggested he chat to a friend who was a boarder. He decided against it (mainly because he would have to do schoolwork on a Saturday morning!), so we left it at that. He is still in contact with many old school friends, as is his brother.
Oh, and I might add I was extremely shy, but still managed the moving around.

Norah

Greyduster

still wonder now why British forces don't have schools.

I think I’ve tried to explain this before. They do, but not beyond the age of 11. There are primary schools at most British military bases around the world, but when secondary education kicks in it’s a different ballgame. There are added difficulties with large NATO bases which have international communities.

I asked, I read what you posted prior to now.

I tried to work out why schooling can't be provided beyond age 11, it makes no sense to not provide well for workers' families.

Overseas postings are not for years and years. When the posting ended after eg two years and the family returned to the UK then the children would go to a local school.

It would be difficult, too, for RN families to accompany their husbands and fathers on a ship for a tour of duty.

X post NonnaW

Greyduster

Even if there was a secondary school at every British base abroad, it would not provide the stability that a boarding education can provide. I am only talking about the Army here; the RAF have longer post as a rule, but the average army posting is two to two and a half years. If the child comes into school at the start of secondary, he will be less than halfway through before he has to change schools with all the disruption that that entails. If he comes into school when he is part way through his GCSEs, he not only faces a change of syllabus, but possibly a new exam regime. It could even happen at a stage where exams are looming. It’s infinitely preferable for the child to begin his secondary education in a stable environment, to bed himself in socially and educationally and not have the disruption of changing schools at all. If I haven’t explained myself properly, I apologise, but how many parents would want to have to suddenly yank their children out of a school where they may be doing well academically, and then plonk them down again in a strange school that they might hate, with a different curriculum and exam regime? It’s not as if service parents have no control over which boarding school their children are sent to. We had reasonable choice based on the allowances we were entitled to.

Thank you.

I've never changed schools or homes, nor thought to disruption.

I'll ask next we visit Lakenheath - how their secondary school age children cope with the disruption of moving so often. Interesting innit, they move children to Suffolk, on low pay. Everyone has their own reasons, I suppose.

I would hate to be apart from my children when they grew up but of course everyone is different and circumstances too.
Certainly it is not the Enid Blyton style life that is portrayed in books. I hope things have changed not bare board dorms cold showers and gruel for meals! I know that one local school knocked down their dorms block now each has their own room so they have their own space.
The local boarding school I found it strange that some children especially the Japanese came to board but did not go home for several years. on holiday times they stayed with host families I found it very sad

It isn't about sharing opinions nannato3 but people are sharing their own experiences on here.

I am finding these deeply moving and not just a matter of liking or not liking something we have no personal knowledge of.

There are also boarding schools for children with special needs, where the educational provision cannot be met at a local level. Parents are conflicted, but ultimately want the best for their child.

As I said in a previous post I attended boarding school for 2 years. No bare boards or gruel, or cold showers. Matrons in each house were strict but kind, food was great and plentiful (especially the cakes!)After school activities for all types of interests. All in all a great experience. I attended 11 schools altogether, we moved around a lot. Looking back learned so much and experienced things I probably wouldn’t have if I hadn’t travelled with my parents. There are different types of education and learning, not always in a classroom.

Norah

Dickens

Norah

Dickens

Norah

I don't understand why people can't change jobs. However, I accept some don't wish to find different work, their choice.

Maybe because for some it can be more complicated than simply swapping one job for another?

I merely said I don't understand.

My husband never faced job swap complication. Quite lucky, really.

I merely said I don't understand

And I simply gave you a possible reason why for some - though clearly not for you - it's not always easy to just ^change jobs.^

Curious, may I ask why not? There are many jobs.

Perhaps I misunderstand the words *change jobs.*

Curious, may I ask why not? There are many jobs.

OK.

If - for example - you have studied and trained in a particular field (and have maybe incurred debt whilst doing so); then are offered a post within an organisation or company, possibly with a set minimum period of employment (because the position demands that circumstance) - then I would imagine changing jobs isn't a straightforward process.

I fully understand why a parent would not want to board their child - the emotional attachment to a child and the desire to keep it in the home environment is not something I'd ever question.

However, you appear to be suggesting that parents shouldn't send their children to boarding school, because you don't agree with it, and I find that rather judgmental.

Your feelings / circumstances (and mine) are not other people's - we are all different. I don't believe there's a right or wrong in this matter. It depends on the child, the circumstances, and the feelings and preferences of the individual parents.

I was once engaged to someone who went to quite a famous boarding school from a very young age, as did his sister. Neither of them was unhappy. His father worked in Hong Kong. They went out to Hong Kong every holiday if his parents were not visiting the UK, or for shorter holidays stayed with their grandparents. Many of his friends did exactly the same and he had lots of friends he had known most of his life. I never heard any of them complaining about their school life, mainly they had lots of stories about things they got up to,

His life was a lot more stable than mine, where I changed schools every three years - more, really, as we went back to my grandparents in between postings and we had to attend schools there for about 6 months before moving to the new posting. I have no life long friends like he had, my oldest two friends are from my teens when we moved back to Wales. Education was a bit of an issue, my syllabus changed with every school, and teaching methods were different. It had it's bonuses though - it made me very independent and quite resilient, I'm not scared of change and have had friends of every hue and culture all my life. Boarding was never an option for us.

I can honestly say, from the other side of the fence, that most parents don't take the decision to board their children lightly. It may look like it to onlookers, but the majority of these parents agonise over their decision which they only arrive at after careful consideration. Uppermost in their thoughts is always the happiness and welfare of their child. It may be difficult for a young child to understand that, or even for other parents to grasp the reasons for it, but boarding schools exist for a purpose beyond the classroom..

Grammaretto

It isn't about sharing opinions nannato3 but people are sharing their own experiences on here.

I am finding these deeply moving and not just a matter of liking or not liking something we have no personal knowledge of.

I probably didn't express myself very well. What I meant was I could never send my children to boarding school because of the distress it would cause me . I suffered terribly with empty nest syndrome when they left home as adults so sending them away to school was never in my mind . I wouldn't have married a man who travelled with his job , it just wouldn't suit me but we are all different with different views and we should respect others views .

My younger granddaughter asked to go to boarding school, its weekly boarding and coeducational, she went at 13 and has been very happy there. She is dyslexic and has just done her A level mocks and got A,A,B.

Because my DF was working in India my older sister went to boarding school in the Uk. There was five years between her and my brother but when the time came for him to go to boarding school my father died so we returned to the UkK. Consequently both he and I went to a day school. My DS had an outgoing personality and enjoyed boarding school but I think there was a feeling of resentment that she had missed out on the relationship we had our mother. (Some holidays for her had had to be spent in UK with our aunt and uncle as the journey was so long). She misremembered a lot about the th8ngs mum had done for her to help her when she first had her family etc. She would deny things that I know my mum did for her.

I should have proof read the above before posting! I see some appalling grammar mistakes.

Dickens

Norah

Dickens

Norah

Dickens

Norah

I don't understand why people can't change jobs. However, I accept some don't wish to find different work, their choice.

Maybe because for some it can be more complicated than simply swapping one job for another?

I merely said I don't understand.

My husband never faced job swap complication. Quite lucky, really.

I merely said I don't understand

And I simply gave you a possible reason why for some - though clearly not for you - it's not always easy to just ^change jobs.^

Curious, may I ask why not? There are many jobs.

Perhaps I misunderstand the words *change jobs.*

Curious, may I ask why not? There are many jobs.

OK.

If - for example - you have studied and trained in a particular field (and have maybe incurred debt whilst doing so); then are offered a post within an organisation or company, possibly with a set minimum period of employment (because the position demands that circumstance) - then I would imagine changing jobs isn't a straightforward process.

I fully understand why a parent would not want to board their child - the emotional attachment to a child and the desire to keep it in the home environment is not something I'd ever question.

However, you appear to be suggesting that parents shouldn't send their children to boarding school, because you don't agree with it, and I find that rather judgmental.

Your feelings / circumstances (and mine) are not other people's - we are all different. I don't believe there's a right or wrong in this matter. It depends on the child, the circumstances, and the feelings and preferences of the individual parents.

Apologies for asking logical questions. I know nothing to why people might stay in a job that led to boarding their children - so I asked.

I admitted I'd not be comfortable boarding our children. I certainly have no reason to care how others apart from my family accomplish work or school, I was merely curious.

I said earlier, I assume people do what they feel is best for their children.

Most of what I asked remains a mystery - so be it.

Nanato3

Grammaretto

It isn't about sharing opinions nannato3 but people are sharing their own experiences on here.

I am finding these deeply moving and not just a matter of liking or not liking something we have no personal knowledge of.

I probably didn't express myself very well. What I meant was I could never send my children to boarding school because of the distress it would cause me . I suffered terribly with empty nest syndrome when they left home as adults so sending them away to school was never in my mind . I wouldn't have married a man who travelled with his job , it just wouldn't suit me but we are all different with different views and we should respect others views .

Agreed. Everyone should respect other views.

The OP asked would you send your children to boarding school? No, but some people would. This whole thread was merely discussion.