My daughter has excluded me because I did not like the name she chose for her new baby.

What the H has it got to do with you what they call their child.

Ah - another endorsement for the grandparent rule of ZTL - zip the lip!

You will know for the future!!

Troy is a fabulous name. I should know, I've got one myself.

Such a shame to be bickering about this. It's really none of your business . Rein it in and try to get back on a steady footing.

You has been very unwise to keep on pushing this issue. You kept pushing and pushing for your choice and now you have strained relations.

Many people don't choose family names for their children - myself included. You have no role in naming their baby.

I don't even think Troy is especially out there - it's fairly mainstream these days.

It seems like you may have previous form for judging your daughter's choices and not respecting her (calling her "superficial" ) Plus the multiple attempts to overrule their choice of name - perhaps this was the final straw for the new family.

So you need to think about what you want to happen now

My sympathies are all with your daughter.

Not only did you criticise her or their choice of name, you insist on the out-dated idea that a "family name" should be used, although very few even in our generation were landed with a name that had been in use in the family for generations, and then to cap it all, you ask about a nick-name.

Why on earth should a child need one?

My daughter and her partner had enough trouble agreeing between themselves about their children's names, we certainly didn't add to the confusion!

My son and his wife are expecting soon and have been discussing names, but we're quite happy to wait for the final decision come the day.

This is their time, we've had ours 🤗

sorry ambergreen this is all your own fault and i don't blame your daughter for being angry with you, my son's name is not family and the other 15 children being my siblings kids and there kids do not have any family names. the name or middle name had nothing to do with you, my name is not family related but my other 4 sibling all have family related names. i am a gran but i do know when to keep my nose out, maybe you should do the same.

Ambergreen, I know you meant no harm , but you should have kept it zipped !
In fairness , you really would want to choose your own child 's name, wouldn't you ?
From what I've seen on these pages and experienced myself , "grandparenting" is almost wholly on their (the parents) terms.
That is your challenge...... should you choose to accept it.

Parents name their children. Grandparents keep their counsel. Best way forward in all things .

Oh dear. Always best to keep the lip zipped. I love all our gc’s names but would never have commented if I hadn’t approved.
I remember discussing names for our first baby and the shrieks of horror from some relatives when we suggested Flora. ‘You can’t call your baby after a margarine!’ Flora marg had recently come on the market 🤦‍♀️.

It’s all been said about parents choice but I’ve always found that even if you are not keen about a name the children kind of grow into it
As a child I disliked my name and used to get cross when my mum objected when school friends shortened it. Mum obviously thought it was a lovely name

A big NoNo, Parents child, Parents choice.
I would have no way got involved with naming my Grandsons, as I would have not expected any interference from my Parents , in naming my Son's.

Most of my grandchildren have out of norm names not way out but not average either I think that’s great none have family names
Absolutely nothing to do with you at all and you would be fine if you hadn’t gone on about it
Troy s not exactly way out I thought you meant something like ‘Toilet’ or ‘Greenforest’ or something but even if it was nothing to do with you at all

My DD wouldn’t tell us their chosen name for ourGD until the day she was born. She said she wanted it to be a surprise. In the event she had a lovely name that suits her really well but I wouldn’t have cared what name she was given I would still adore her.
Just think yourself lucky that the father isn’t Elon Musk. Goodness only knows what name he’d be given then!

First law of grandparenting, keep your mouth shut. It's up to the parents to name their child.
I hope you are soon reconciled and all will be well. But just take a step back..

It isn’t out there at all.

A quick check of the genealogy site FreeBMD shows it’s been given as a name in England and Wales since civil registration first began in 1837 (and so before that) albeit usually the longer version.

The short version was extremely popular in the 1960s and 1970s, I suspect after a certain American film and TV actor and other media personalities, and continues to be popular.

Frre BMD records over 3000 boys in England and Wales were given the name between 1960 and 1990.

Ancestry records 115,000 births worldwide between 1970 and 1990, 165,000 between 1980 and 2000.

There are even 564 in Sweden that have Troy as a first name ... more than have my (more traditional English speaking name) name

Tbh it was extremely foolish and quite rude to comment.

Maybe she didn’t like any family names!

I couldn’t care less what names my children give their children, it makes no difference whatsoever. Their child, their choice!

Must say I have sympathy for anyone who really doesn’t like a name chosen for a grandchild. I’m still thankful that dd didn’t choose to call Gds anything like Otis, which a friend had to pretend (glued-on smile through gritted teeth) to like.

It seems that the lovely traditional names have all but disappeared. Most children now seem to have ridiculous made-up names. Troy is far better than some I’ve heard of lately but I’d find it hard to hide my feelings just like the OP.

Cold

There are even 564 in Sweden that have Troy as a first name ... more than have my (more traditional English speaking name) name

There you go! It's a good, strong name. All the Scandi dramas I watch on TV seem to star male actors who look at though they have been carved out of granite.

I hope all this positivity is making OP think again that this is good name that her daughter has chosen and that the rift can be healed.

I don’t know why you need to like anybody’s name. I don’t like the name of one of my friends. That is neither here nor there.It doesn’t make any difference to how I feel about her.

BlueBelle

Most of my grandchildren have out of norm names not way out but not average either I think that’s great none have family names
Absolutely nothing to do with you at all and you would be fine if you hadn’t gone on about it
Troy s not exactly way out I thought you meant something like ‘Toilet’ or ‘Greenforest’ or something but even if it was nothing to do with you at all

😂😂😂

Skydancer

It seems that the lovely traditional names have all but disappeared. Most children now seem to have ridiculous made-up names. Troy is far better than some I’ve heard of lately but I’d find it hard to hide my feelings just like the OP.

My DM used to say this all the time, made up names and then would get cross when I pointed out, with a wry smile, that all some point all names were made up

keepingquiet

I really don't know if this is a wind-up? Only parents have the right to name their child... you had your turn.

I am very close to my granddaughter and very involved with her life. She is expecting a baby soon but I wouldn’t dream of getting involved with names unless asked. It’s entirely up to the patents, definitely not the grandparents.