My daughter has excluded me because I did not like the name she chose for her new baby.

It’s so hard when children are naming babies and choose names you don’t like. But I would never interfere.
My granddaughter was named after my grandmother and my Mums name is her middle name - I loved both.
My grandson was a month old and still hadn’t got a name, my daughter said these are the four names we like and asked we what I thought. Two I hated, one I wasn’t keen on and one I liked. I only said I particularly liked one name but told her I would love whatever they chose.
Luckily they chose the name I liked and his middle name is my late husbands name.

grumppa

And sometimes parents choose unusual names because the family name is very common; e.g. Achilles Smith would stand out a lot more than John Smith.

It sure would, but a def way to get beaten up at school, unless it’s Eton of course.😁

AmberGreen

Imagine you are driving down the motorway and a car in front suddenly changes lanes with no signal. You would be surprised, ok. ? Well that's what we were at that lunch. For months it had been a couple of very different names and now it was all change. When people change lanes minus a signal others react because they have not had time to consider the matter fully. Just think about how you would swear at the person who almost caused a pile up. The metaphor is about lack of consideration, misjudging situations. By the way we were asked for our opinion about names right at the start of this fiasco.
We are now all fine. Some people who responded to my post should absolutely never under any circumstances consider taking up counselling.

😂
Glad it’s all sorted out amicably now anyway.

We have a new grandchild due in June. Recently I asked my son if they'd discussed/chosen names.
"Oh yes, that's been decided for a while now."
We're happy to wait 🥰

Oreo

grumppa

And sometimes parents choose unusual names because the family name is very common; e.g. Achilles Smith would stand out a lot more than John Smith.

It sure would, but a def way to get beaten up at school, unless it’s Eton of course.😁

Fine, as long as the surname wasn't Heale.

Of course, as women might choose to change to their husband's name when they marry, a common forename could cause difficulties if the new surname is a common one.

My birth surname was fairly unusual but my married surname is dead common 😁

What horrible assumptions you make about others. Have you thought about becoming a counsellor? don'/t.
This was a sudden change of heart on D's part, she had formerly asked what we thought, a combination of hormones and surprise caused this incident, and yes we all understand each others faults in our family, do not like but love each other, and you have been no help in healing this, but healed it is.

V3ra

We have a new grandchild due in June. Recently I asked my son if they'd discussed/chosen names.
"Oh yes, that's been decided for a while now."
We're happy to wait 🥰

As it should be. Asked and answered!

“Do not like but love each other”.

Can’t always be helped can it? It happens. But a good way to avoid these little tiffs is to not be so openly judgmental. Only you can heal rifts you create. Our job was to answer honestly about whether or not you were being unreasonable. You were. Today on this Mothering Sunday you have your daughter back to a place where she can overlook your judgements and simply embrace her mum as a new mum herself. It’s a great blessing. One to be thankful for. Lessons can be learned from mistakes. If I were you I’d forward now having learned how judgement and trying to control their choices pushes our children away. I would keep my daughter and grandchild close by keeping my mouth closed on matters that remain up to the parents. Believe me, life is easier that way

I’m kind of surprised by how many people responded by telling the OP to shut her mouth! She is entitled to have an opinion. Sure the parents have the final say, however there’s nothing wrong with wanting to participate in helping choose a baby name. Good grief! My grandma had wishes and suggestions for my kids. My mother-in-law did too. Ladies at church suggested names😄 My daughter and son in law chose their kids names, with all the same helpful participation including from every member of my son-in-law’s massive family. The daughter’s response seems rather thin skinned to me.

Wait4it

I’m kind of surprised by how many people responded by telling the OP to shut her mouth! She is entitled to have an opinion. Sure the parents have the final say, however there’s nothing wrong with wanting to participate in helping choose a baby name. Good grief! My grandma had wishes and suggestions for my kids. My mother-in-law did too. Ladies at church suggested names😄 My daughter and son in law chose their kids names, with all the same helpful participation including from every member of my son-in-law’s massive family. The daughter’s response seems rather thin skinned to me.

When a friend of mine had her son she sent a letter to loads of her friends with a list of boys names for us to choose from.. The most popular one was used.. He is a lovely young man and we all followed his progress through life with interest.. She was very keen on community..

Goodness me! It's up to the child's parents isn't it? What a tiz

Athrawes

Goodness me! It's up to the child's parents isn't it? What a tiz

Indeed it is up the child's parents and that's the way they chose to do it.. there are many different ways to live..

Wait4it

I’m kind of surprised by how many people responded by telling the OP to shut her mouth! She is entitled to have an opinion. Sure the parents have the final say, however there’s nothing wrong with wanting to participate in helping choose a baby name. Good grief! My grandma had wishes and suggestions for my kids. My mother-in-law did too. Ladies at church suggested names😄 My daughter and son in law chose their kids names, with all the same helpful participation including from every member of my son-in-law’s massive family. The daughter’s response seems rather thin skinned to me.

There is everything wrong on insisting on participation against the parent’s wishes. This isn’t a hard concept to grasp. What a grandparents wants for their grandchildren is not equal to what the parents want, so if/when told to stop the suggestions it shouldn’t be difficult unless gran has impulse control issues, or a controlling personality. Your experiences have nothing to do with what the OP’s daughter wants.

Well we know that neither the OP or her daughter want this to damage their relationship because she told us a week ago that it has now been sorted.

Smileless2012

Well we know that neither the OP or her daughter want this to damage their relationship because she told us a week ago that it has now been sorted.

Agreed.

OP told us this tiny non-problem is sorted, do not like but love each other, and you have been no help in healing this, but healed it is.

Sorted. Give no further opinions, done and dusted.

My son and his partner chose a name for their baby. My husband wasn't impressed because he thought it was a name you'd give a dog. However he did have the sense not to say anything to the parents and the baby is 11 now and his name has become part of him. One of his middle names is a family one that all the children have.

When my neighbour told me they were calling their daughter Megan I almost asked her why they were using a sheepdog's name, but I managed to stop myself! I think she would have laughed but her husband probably wouldn't have been amused.

There seems to have been a few posts here recently from people who are disappointed at the level of involvement they have regarding grandchildren.

Redblueandgreen

There seems to have been a few posts here recently from people who are disappointed at the level of involvement they have regarding grandchildren.

Mmmm. I'm waiting to read a report in the printed media about whether grandparents should be involved with their grandchildren.

The self importance of the OP is stunning.
Or else just a ploy ie click bait.
If genuine no wonder parents keep grampies at arms length.

Redblueandgreen

There seems to have been a few posts here recently from people who are disappointed at the level of involvement they have regarding grandchildren.

Expecting considerably too much, no self reflection.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

This is in yesterday's Guardian. It reminded me of this thread, and made me laugh - enjoy.

Ugly, old-fashioned, weird’: the baby names that set grandparents’ teeth on edge

One in five grandparents has struggled to come to terms with a grandchild’s name, according to a survey from Gransnet. Poor old Aurora, Tabitha, Elijah and Finn

Wed 30 Apr 2025 17.22 BST

Name: The baby name generation gap.

Age: Hopefully it wears off by three or four.

Appearance: Thin-lipped disapproval.

Is this about changing tastes in baby names? It’s about differences of opinion.

Between whom? Parents and grandparents. One in five grandparents say they’ve hated one of their grandkids’ names.

That sounds a lot. Luckily, only 4% say they still hate the name – 15% have got used to it over time.

It’s certainly a fraught topic – ask my son, Olaf. You called your son Olaf? Why?

It seemed like a good idea at the time. Not to my parents, though. What about your in-laws?*

Grandpa Olaf was OK with it. According to a new Gransnet survey, that’s a common complaint: grandparents objecting to names honouring other grandparents.

What are their other complaints? Names they think are ugly (28%), or old-fashioned (11%), or weird (17%). Six percent were OK with the name but didn’t like the spelling.

I understand their misgivings, but frankly it’s none of their business. Well, 31% of grandparents agree with you; 69%, however, think it’s fine to give an opinion if asked.

So the smart advice is: don’t ask. Always.

Is this a bigger problem than it used to be? It could be, now that our cultural obsession with individuality has given rise to the position of baby name consultant.

You mean people pay someone to tell them what to call their baby? It’s not exactly universal. Grandparents’ objections aside, naming a baby does seem like something parents ought to be able to manage by themselves.

Try telling that to Olaf. He may grow into it.

How old is little Olaf now? He’s 34.

Did the surveyed grandparents list any specific names they disliked? They did. Their top hated names were Aurora, Charlotte, Elijah, Finn, Jack, Lindsay, Noah, Sally and Tabitha.

Are you kidding? That’s about the most inoffensive list I’ve ever heard. No one is saying the grandparents are right.

You could walk into any reception class and find two each of that lot. I guess that’s the point: fashions change.

No, the point is: stay in your lane, Grandad. And also: are you still OK to babysit Tuesday? You mean Tuesday this week? Or is the kid called Tuesday?

Do say: “Your bespoke grandchild names are Wheatberry, Dusty, Mushroom and Candle. That will be £800 please.”

Don’t say: “Sorry, I sent you the wrong list. I also do names for white paint.”

Doodledog, Thank you. Quite a giggle.

The best bits, imo.

Do say: “Your bespoke grandchild names are Wheatberry, Dusty, Mushroom and Candle. That will be £800 please.”

Don’t say: “Sorry, I sent you the wrong list. I also do names for white paint.”

My husband and I never asked, but were mildly curious, knew it was not our business. However, we do have GGC named paint colours!

Who knew?!?

Thanks Doodledog that made me laugh especially *No, the point is: stay in your lane, Grandad. And also: are you still OK to babysit Tuesday?* You mean Tuesday this week? Or is the kid called Tuesday? .

I liked the Olaf bits