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AIBU

Is it me?

(44 Posts)
Ziggy62 Tue 18-Mar-25 12:15:05

This Morning as I pulled into the car park of a village shop I stopped my car to allow an elderly man to cross. I would have said thank you or raised my hand.
Then I held the door open for another man, again not a word.
Then another man almost bumped into me not looking where he was going, I side stepped him and said sorry, even though it wasn't my fault. He just grunted

Are people becoming more ill mannered or AIBU?

Coconutty Wed 19-Mar-25 21:19:53

welbeck

Please don't flash headlights at night.
I know people mean to be polite but it is massively dazzling and causes actual eye pain sometimes.

Don’t get me started on headlights. I’ve had to stop driving at night. Some of them are blinding.

Indigo8 Wed 19-Mar-25 21:28:49

The bus was quite full the other day and I was sitting in a bay (it's OK this is not the start of a poem) that is for wheelchairs or prams. I saw a young women with a baby in a pram and a toddler about to get on so I moved further back.

Quick as a flash Mr and Mrs Smug moved down the bus and plonked themselves in the bay. The poor women with a pram had to squeeze in sideways and had to stand while carrying the toddler. I was sat too far at the back of the bus to say anything unfortunately. I have noticed that it is quite often the senior bus pass holders who are bad mannered. Many of them seem to think they have the right to occupy two seats with their bags when they haven't even paid for one seat. And don't get me started about shopping trolleys. I am well into my 70s and a lot of these people, though seniors, are quite a bit younger and fitter than I am including the afore mentioned Mr and Mrs Smug.

TanaMa Wed 19-Mar-25 21:29:46

Taking my trolley to my car with a very large, unweildy, bag of dog biscuits, a smaller - but still heavy - bag of cat biscuits and various other shopping, I was surprised by a gentleman, who had just got out of his car, who came and offered to lift them into my car. At almost 90** and with a painful shoulder, I was thrilled with his kindness. **As everyone, incl my Dr, tells me I look nowhere near my age, I don't think that was the reason for his kindness!!

hollysteers Wed 19-Mar-25 23:17:38

I was paying for my shopping at the supermarket till, getting my card out etc. The woman behind me had pushed herself forward practically under my arm. I felt rather harassed by her, so I had momentary fall backwards which threw her back rather😁

Mollygo Wed 19-Mar-25 23:41:07

On the other hand, every time I’ve been to the gym this week I’ve either had the door held open for me (and thanked them) or held the door for the next person and been thanked. That’s by people of a range of ages and by men, women, and tonight, by a child.
So courtesy isn’t dead everywhere.

Franski Thu 20-Mar-25 01:42:37

Funnily enough as someone who uses public transport i am constantly surprised to hear passengers thank the driver as they disembark. Its the driver who is usually the grumpy one. Honestly i find Brits a polite bunch most of ths time. I tend to presume the rude ones are stressed amd preocupied. What a Pollyanna I sound...

Macadia Thu 20-Mar-25 02:37:36

Growing0ldDisgracefully

I let the door go on people who expect me to be their unacknowledged door holder!

Crimey ! grin

Trisha99 Thu 20-Mar-25 07:17:11

A small thing - my husband can’t stand people who don’t put the ‘next customer’ divider behind their shopping when at the till.
He plonks it down noisily and says things like ‘don’t worry yourself’.

Mollygo Thu 20-Mar-25 08:33:44

Trisha99

A small thing - my husband can’t stand people who don’t put the ‘next customer’ divider behind their shopping when at the till.
He plonks it down noisily and says things like ‘don’t worry yourself’.

But it’s his job to do that. The person in front isn’t the next customer. They’re the preceding customer, and they’ve probably already put a divider down to separate their shopping from the person in front of them.

Indigo8 Thu 20-Mar-25 08:46:09

Franski

Funnily enough as someone who uses public transport i am constantly surprised to hear passengers thank the driver as they disembark. Its the driver who is usually the grumpy one. Honestly i find Brits a polite bunch most of ths time. I tend to presume the rude ones are stressed amd preocupied. What a Pollyanna I sound...

I always thank the driver when I get off the bus. It's common courtesy isn't it? Very un-Pollyannaish not to.

Sara1954 Thu 20-Mar-25 09:06:55

I don’t share this experience at all.
I find people generally polite and friendly, I would always hold a door open, and have always received a Thankyou, likewise. I always thank any gentleman kind enough to open a door for me.
At work, between two buildings, doors are constantly hold open for me by customers, and I am always polite and thankful.
I’m sure there are some rude people out there, but fortunately, I haven’t encountered them.

TheWeirdoAgain1 Thu 20-Mar-25 09:24:09

Ziggy62 I know what you're saying!

The amount of times I'm walking along and there's someone with their head on their chest worshipping their mobile, not looking where they're going and zigzagging/stopping/starting over the pavement so I stand still and they almost collide with me and I get snapped at ''MOVE!'' No I won't!

Opening doors etc. etc. to be either ignored or abused.

Even in restaurants/cafe's with staff, I've said please and thank you and have been given really weird looks!

pascal30 Thu 20-Mar-25 09:24:10

Indigo8

Franski

Funnily enough as someone who uses public transport i am constantly surprised to hear passengers thank the driver as they disembark. Its the driver who is usually the grumpy one. Honestly i find Brits a polite bunch most of ths time. I tend to presume the rude ones are stressed amd preocupied. What a Pollyanna I sound...

I always thank the driver when I get off the bus. It's common courtesy isn't it? Very un-Pollyannaish not to.

I use my local buses regularly and find the passengers are normally friendly and pleasant.. almost all of them thank the driver including the children..

Churchview Thu 20-Mar-25 09:25:00

ddraig123 Your gentleman comment made me laugh. Very good.

I'm from Bristol where there's an actual phrase for thanking the driver, "Cheers Drive".

Now I live in a small market town where pretty much everyone I encounter is ultra polite and well mannered.

Athrawes Thu 20-Mar-25 11:05:04

I now walk with a 3 wheeler as I can fall without something stable to hold on to and boy, does it make a difference. Cars stop promptly on the crossings and people move to one side to let me pass. If younger people walk towards me with their eyes glued to their phones I just stand still and they seem to get the message. It's amazing!

Overthemoongran Thu 20-Mar-25 11:22:24

My go to phrase if met with silence after holding a door open is “Pardon?” which is usually answered with “I didn’t say
anything”, to which I reply, “Oh, sorry, I thought you said thank you.”.

Madmeg Thu 20-Mar-25 20:25:13

I find people locally are polite and friendly. Maybe it's because I live in a small town (we still say we are going down to "the village) and we all look out for each other - even the ones we don't know!

Thanks for the heads-up re Bristol, our DD went to Uni there 23 years ago and never came home again so we visit often - and use the buses cos the parking is horrendous. I find folks there also polite and friendly. The only exception is that being a city lots of younger people are in a terrible rush to get from A to B.

Ali08 Fri 21-Mar-25 19:22:18

I have found younger people to be more polite these days!!