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To discourage self employment for adult daughter

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TopsyAndTim Fri 16-May-25 21:29:38

I am very worried about my 40 year old daughter.
She works as bank staff in a care home but is struggling as she has rheumatoid arthritis and feels she gets treated badly. She is also getting less and less work due to the homes cutting back on staff due to the national insurance increases.
She does Self employment work too but I've told her this will impact on her pension as she won't be making weekly contributions.
She still lives at home as has no partner and as we are wealthy, she will be fine once we pass but it is a real worry for me.
She says she can't cope with being treated badly and the physical strains of the job. The other day she came out with a migraine and vomited all evening due to stress but as I say, it is her pension that she needs to be thinking about.
Can anyone advise ? She has a lot of savings as is very careful with money. She contributes financially and to the home too but the future is a concern.

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Doodledog Sun 18-May-25 09:47:59

Perhaps quit talking about your concerns and focus on her concerns?
Norah is wise. You are living your life and your daughter is living hers. They don’t have to be lived by the same rules. We all have different tolerances of risk, and imposing yours on your daughter won’t end well. Be there for her if things don’t work out, but don’t stop her trying.

If you are in a position to help financially, think yourself lucky that you are able to do so, and underwrite her as much as you can. If you can’t do that, it might be frustrating but you can offer encouragement and emotional support.

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Norah Sun 18-May-25 13:54:49

Madmeg gave excellent advice.

My husband is self employed, has been for over 55 years. I keep every receipt, every detail to his transactions - and pass it all to our accountant. Money well spent, she does all the forms correctly following latest rules.

Perhaps consider using your excess money hiring an accountant to set up all the process for your D's business to flourish?

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TakeThat7 Sun 18-May-25 14:32:23

I think making your own decisions is very important to confidence If she finds working for other people difficult why try to stop her doing what she feels is right for herself

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David49 Sun 18-May-25 20:23:31

As we are now discussin* being self employed in general when it comes to financing an adult child you have to be realistic what is likely to succeed, because 3 out of 4 new businesses fail within 3 yrs. I have seen many invest inheritances and savings wasted on projects that have a very low chance of success, in particular High Street shops and Pubs. If you are working from home without overheads you have a much better chance of success.
In 50+ years of being self employed I’ve found it’s easy to make money, the difficult part is controlling costs, you will also work a lot more hours than an employee too.

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Allsorts Sun 18-May-25 21:37:37

I wouldn't want her unhappy at work thats the main issue, secondly why cant a 40 year old make her own decisions? You should back her up, just because she has a condition doesn't make her incapable. She needs you boosting her confidence and backing her up and not undermining her.

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