Parents stop mollycoddling your children!

I have long thought kids are molly coddled.
A prime example recently was someone in my extended family whose teenage daughter rang her mid morning to ask if she could drop her a jumper in to school as she was cold. It was 22C! She was at our house which is 14 miles from the school but she lives 24 miles in the OTHER direction.

I told her not to and tell the girl next time make sure you have a jumper with you. She was daft enough to do it though! I could not believe it. 🥺

Primrose53

I have long thought kids are molly coddled.
A prime example recently was someone in my extended family whose teenage daughter rang her mid morning to ask if she could drop her a jumper in to school as she was cold. It was 22C! She was at our house which is 14 miles from the school but she lives 24 miles in the OTHER direction.

I told her not to and tell the girl next time make sure you have a jumper with you. She was daft enough to do it though! I could not believe it. 🥺

Now that I totally agree is molly coddling. I would have felt exactly as you do about it.

I am in the US, not the UK, so I am not sure it can be compared. But I do have a teenaged job seeker, aged 18, who can not find a job through traditional methods. AI now reviews applications and resumes and weeds the majority of people out before the hiring company even sees it, leading to lots of open jobs and employers saying no one wants to work, and tons of job seekers saying no one is hiring despite for hire signs at the business.

Here is what this has led to:

- The best way for teens to get jobs in my area is networking.
- Teens do not typically have the networking outreach that a parent has, and most do not have Facebook accounts. Facebook is where the local groups are for networking purposes. Snapchat, Instagram and the like do not use the group set up nearly as well as Facebook does.
- I myself have considered putting the word out my teen is looking on Facebook, because he has been looking since January and is not getting hired. This is happening to teens all over my area, not just my child.

I live by the saying that everyone should Mind Their Own Motherhood. We have no idea what these teens have done to find jobs. We have no idea what happens house to house. Some parents could be coddling their child, others, like me, are doing everything we can to help give them a step up to become established adults that are not a drain on the system. We are not coddling our children, we just don't want them to live with us forever.

And, I suppose, that the people complaining the most loudly would complain even louder if these teens were a drain on the system due to not being able to find a job in the first place.

Simply put, how does a parent who is helping their child become a responsible adult due to market conditions affect you really? Unless you are a hiring manager, I cant think of how it would.

I should also mention that these teens ARE going into businesses and knocking on doors, only to be told they must fill out applications online. No one in the businesses will even speak to them without that online application.

So basically, the youth of today are dealing with a different experience then we did even 10 or 20 years ago due to technology. Maybe we could remember that instead of judging the parenting of strangers.

Back in the 1940s, my mum left school at 14, like almost all of her contemporaries. Her mother had a job lined up for her.
Was she molly coddled?
Knowing what I know about her upbringing, I can categorically say that she wasn't!

Your comments are noted imaround.

I suspect though the OP was referring to casual jobs during holidays etc as that age group would be in further education before looking for career positions.

CVS/Resumes would be OTT for washing up, clearing tables, cleaning and simple act of asking if there was any casual work available at an establishment would show they wanted to work.

Primrose53

I have long thought kids are molly coddled.
A prime example recently was someone in my extended family whose teenage daughter rang her mid morning to ask if she could drop her a jumper in to school as she was cold. It was 22C! She was at our house which is 14 miles from the school but she lives 24 miles in the OTHER direction.

I told her not to and tell the girl next time make sure you have a jumper with you. She was daft enough to do it though! I could not believe it. 🥺

I knew several sahms who would regularly take PE kit, homework , cooking stuff etc to their DC schools , because their kids had forgotten stuff . I was a working mum and if mine had forgotten something, tough ! . And this was 20-25 years ago .

Elowen33

Young people do not use Facebook so it makes sense that parents are asking via their accounts.

I think this has a lot to do with it. The oldies with the jobs to offer are likely to be on Facebook, the youngsters not so much.

It does give a much better impression if they make the enquiries themselves though.

We do have a couple of budding entrepreneurs on our street though. One is doing a roaring trade cleaning cars for a few pounds (and doing a very good job), another has persuaded his parents to let him have some chickens and is now selling eggs from his garden, with a homemade honesty box for payments.

Tenko

Primrose53

I have long thought kids are molly coddled.
A prime example recently was someone in my extended family whose teenage daughter rang her mid morning to ask if she could drop her a jumper in to school as she was cold. It was 22C! She was at our house which is 14 miles from the school but she lives 24 miles in the OTHER direction.

I told her not to and tell the girl next time make sure you have a jumper with you. She was daft enough to do it though! I could not believe it. 🥺

I knew several sahms who would regularly take PE kit, homework , cooking stuff etc to their DC schools , because their kids had forgotten stuff . I was a working mum and if mine had forgotten something, tough ! . And this was 20-25 years ago .

My DD regularly 'forgot' her cookery items for Home Economics. It was me that got told off on Parents' Evening! 😁
Despite that, she's an excellent cook now.

Good post imaround. Not only do applications for part time temporary jobs have to be made online but have to be made through faceless agencies often lacking in empathy. My grandson applies endlessly but generally receives no response or else finds the vacancy has already been filled. Jobs are often handed out to relatives of employees so it is no wonder parents try to help out. I wouldn’t call it mollycoddling.

It is sometimes a case of not what you know but who you know.

My mother got me my first Saturday job in the restaurant she worked in, When I was at college I found my own holiday jobs, but my father got me an interview for my first job when I left.

My daughter got a job in the cafe I was working in - we all tended to get our children in if something needed doing. When she went away to university she organised her own jobs. I went with my son to his first job interview when he was 17. If I hadn't gone he would probably still be sitting at home now! After that he sorted his own jobs out.

Spot on, iamaround

There really isn’t any comparison with our experiences, possibly sixty years ago and those for youngsters now.

I dislike these attempts to suggest they’re mollycoddled by soft parents. That isn’t my experience.n it’s also tedious to divide and rule. Are we really saying our children are mollycoddling our grandchildren? We are dooooomed I tell you, doomed

Pantglas2

Your comments are noted imaround.

I suspect though the OP was referring to casual jobs during holidays etc as that age group would be in further education before looking for career positions.

CVS/Resumes would be OTT for washing up, clearing tables, cleaning and simple act of asking if there was any casual work available at an establishment would show they wanted to work.

The teens I am talking about here in the US are looking for the same type of work. Part time during school holidays, seasonal work, and even part time year around work. We have 12 weeks off of school through our summer, so tons of teens are looking for summertime work.

How does the application process work in the UK? Do they typically just go into a business and enquire or are there applications to be filled out online?

I miss the old days when you could just walk into a business and say you want to enquire about a job and got to talk to a real person. It was so much better and more personal. Sadly, that will never be the case for today's teens as AI continues to roll out. It will get worse, IMO because a lot of those teen jobs will be automated.

The next generation is going to hit a crisis wall we have never seen, IMO.

Elowen33

Young people do not use Facebook so it makes sense that parents are asking via their accounts.

This was my immediate thought too.

You have to apply online now

My son can’t get a job because the buses end too early and he can’t afford a taxi on the wages promised. He can’t walk home in case he gets stabbed

We’ve applied twice for a provisional driving licence but they keep sending it back with a cheque. He doesn’t have a passport, which seems the excuse

I got my daughter her first job. My company (government department) were looking for temporary staff and she came as a casual. It started her on the road to employment. I also helped my nephew, who was lost having lost his mother and his 16 year old brother. Some folks need a helping hand.

Sounds a nightmare. I do sympathise. I worked as a cleaner for two American engineers in Kuwait when I was 14. Back in the UK I enrolled in college with peers three years older than myself and got Saturday jobs in the Scotch Wool shop in Southend, followed by a cushy number in Woolworths closer to home in the posh village of Hadleigh. I sold shampoo and earned about 75p a week. I have one son and encouraged him to deliver papers. He did it all by himself and went out rain or shine and sometimes snow. He made £100 tips at Christmas and hasn’t looked back. I just wanted to make sure that when I am gone, he will manage somehow. I understand things are different now and if parents can help, then why not?

Agreed. Why not? Life is tough.

I watched 15yr old DGD asking if they needed help at a busy Edinburgh restaurant, last week. We had been waiting too long to be served.
She was told to apply via their website.
I haven't heard if she did.

I remember writing letters to ask for work back in the 1960's. I had a Saturday job from age 15 and holiday jobs throughout Art college but I also did baby sitting. Those jobs were word of mouth.

My DC used the telephone to enquire about work. At one time all my 3 sons were working at a Frozen fish processing factory on the night shift.
They were paid badly and promised better wages after 6 weeks but if they stayed that long somehow they were no longer needed. A scam of the time.

I volunteer at a community store which is run by a mix of paid staff and volunteers, including many who have additional needs. One of our "successes" has just been accepted at catering college. She has grown in confidence - a joy to see.

Mine found their own jobs and my grandchildren are doing the same.

Some people need a little help to get started. I agree that the parent who drove to school with the extra jumper is extreme but if our DC were late and we had time, we would drive them to work and help them to find work if they had asked us.

My children found there own part time jobs at 16. They did their own CVs and trawled the papers and stores to get a job. If a 16 year old can't find their own part time job . How are they going to manage when they want a full time job what until mommy and daddy do it for them 🤦.