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AIBU

Parents stop mollycoddling your children!

(105 Posts)
Sago Mon 07-Jul-25 12:08:14

Our local FB page has daily requests for work for 16-19 year olds, these requests unfortunately are from the parents!

On principle I would not employ someone who relied on a parent to job seek.

My three always found jobs in the summer/weekends etc.
They knocked on doors/emailed/telephoned.

AIBU?

Allsorts Tue 08-Jul-25 06:05:36

I helped both mine make the step into work. At sixteen many lack the confidence, it doesn't mean they are work shy. Both are very successful in their chosen careers. Have far exceeded my expectations, it took time. What I looked for was honesty, punctuality and a willingness to learn.

mabon2 Tue 08-Jul-25 13:56:10

Our three lads always had holiday jobs. We live in a World Heritage Site town, so plenty of restaurant, cafes etc. But these days it is very difficult for youngsters to get holiday jobs, o wonder the parents are enquiring.

Babamaman Tue 08-Jul-25 14:12:29

Totally agree! My grandchildren have always worked as soon as they reached 14! They never ask their parents to buy stuff!
Nor me!
I’m so very proud - Dylan who is 16, finished his GCSE’s no school until September! He is working full & extra time at a restaurant. Doesn’t like the public so is in the kitchen doing whatever is required!
He’s paid for Reading festival himsel
He is saving for driving lessons a car and insurance!
He bought his own Vespa!

SiobhanSharpe Tue 08-Jul-25 14:42:41

At 16 DS got his first holiday holiday/part time job at Waitrose by going into the store and asking.
There was a short interview and he was asked what he would do if a customer told him her dinner party was ruined by poor ingredients from Waitrose. He said he would apologise to the customer and he would fetch someone higher up who could help her further with her problem.
He got the job and stayed with Waitrose (weekends and holidays) until he finished university. They are a very good employer, he even got payouts in the employee profit sharing scheme.

Marjgran Tue 08-Jul-25 14:47:28

In a word, yes you are making assumptions and being judgmental. Others have pointed out that many young people are not on Facebook, but many companies a d organisations and adults are. You don’t know that other avenues the young folk are pursuing. The press is full of stories of how temporary and part time work has dried up. All power to those caring parents! If you don’t know the back stories, give folk the benefit of the doubt.

Greenfinch Tue 08-Jul-25 14:55:58

Good post Marjgran .

Jaxjacky Tue 08-Jul-25 15:00:50

Marjgran

In a word, yes you are making assumptions and being judgmental. Others have pointed out that many young people are not on Facebook, but many companies a d organisations and adults are. You don’t know that other avenues the young folk are pursuing. The press is full of stories of how temporary and part time work has dried up. All power to those caring parents! If you don’t know the back stories, give folk the benefit of the doubt.

Totally agree with you.
So yes Sago I think you are.

Hithere Tue 08-Jul-25 15:50:07

Many businesses may not find time worthy to hire a person who is going to be there for such a short period of time- training wise has a cost (in £, time, training requirements, etc)
Scheduling wise may not work either

There could be laws that may make it also very hard to offer those positions, depending on what industry

AuntieE Tue 08-Jul-25 15:59:30

I honestly cannot blame any parent for not wanting a sixteen year old to take a job unless the parent has spoken to the perspective employer.

That said, I do feel the youngster should try to find the job and then take a parent with him or her to talk to the employer.

kjmpde Tue 08-Jul-25 16:29:58

My issue with parents is them ferrying their kids around. Most kids do not have any idea of how to catch a bus. They just stand at the stop and stare - no arm out to indicate they want the bus. Then if the driver stops, they think it is a taxi and will wait for them to go to the shops - yes I've been on that bus when somebody was shocked that the driver wanted to drive off rather than wait for her friend to buy a cake!
the situation is so bad now that many vehicles have posters on " how to catch a bus" .

Suzieque66 Tue 08-Jul-25 16:52:58

Well .. I was 15 and very un self confident , as I had no decent clothes or money for train fares. My parent expected me to go out and get a job , I finally got an awful job in a Hairdressers washing old peoples head as they had no hair ! No training or any help to me at all. I hated it. I had no winter coat and had to pretend I was not cold in the snow .. my Mum said stop moan ng and wear your school mackintosh ! Can You Imagine ?

Greenfinch Tue 08-Jul-25 17:00:03

Another assumption here that everyone lives on a bus route. Well we did until the bus company went bankrupt. My granddaughter is lucky enough to work one day a week at a garden centre, the result of her doing her work experience there at 16. The garden centre is very rural and all the youngsters working there have to be ferried by an adult. My son in law takes my granddaughter unless he is working and then we do it and her uncle will pick her up in the winter as we no longer drive in the dark. It is not easy but she does have a little job and we all support her. This is not mollycoddling.

WelshPoppy Tue 08-Jul-25 17:02:59

I had a Saturday job at 14 in a local greengrocer shop. I was there for a year but as a member of St. John Ambulance I left the job to do voluntary first aid duty almost every weekend. My daughters both had part time jobs at 16, one in a sports shop and one in a department store. Regarding apply for jobs, one daughter wanted to do veterinary nursing so wrote a letter and researched all veterinary practices within a reasonable radius of home. I did type the letter for her and mail merged the practice details to help her out (I was a secretary so it was quick for me to do). She applied to over 30 practices and had 3 responses, all no. She's now achieved her dream of veterinary nursing and is Head Vet Nurse.

janeainsworth Tue 08-Jul-25 17:18:19

I've even heard a couple of cases where a parent (in both cases, the mum) actually accompanied their child to a job interview!

That’s nothing new. When I was at university in the late 60’s, it was somehow discovered that a boy in our year had been accompanied to the interview by his mother.
He was immediately labelled as a wet and never lived it down.

leeds22 Tue 08-Jul-25 18:06:14

My Mum actually got me a Saturday job in the local Woolworths - I refused to go! I wanted to pass my O levels (and muck around with my friends).

mokryna Tue 08-Jul-25 18:06:51

I was 12 when I went solo job hunting for a paper round, 15 (‘65) for a full time job. At 16 changed jobs for one in London which meant a bus trip to the next town’s railway station, catching 8.10 to London Bridge and then a tube to Trafalgar Square.

Cateq Tue 08-Jul-25 18:21:45

My mum got me my first Saturday job when I was 14 years old. She was a collection agent for department store that allowed customers to buy things on credit, this was before most people had credit cards. In fact most women couldn’t open a bank account with a male guarantor. The store manager asked my mum if I’d be interested in the job, my mum replied it would’nt matter if I was interested in doing it I would be doing it. I was assigned to the jewellery department, which resulted in me spending my wages as soon as as the brown envelope was handed to me. I had a great collection of silver bangles and rings when I finally gave it to focus on my exams.

My own children all found their own part time jobs.

Cossy Tue 08-Jul-25 18:40:54

Not sure it really matters, I got my daughter her first paid role on a “friends and family” referral and arranged my other daughters work experience in her old Primary School, where I was a school governor.

Didn’t harm them at all.

Kate1949 Wed 09-Jul-25 00:13:06

My teacher got me my first job. I am eternally grateful. She recently died. RIP Miss Shepherd and thank you.

Frogs Wed 09-Jul-25 00:13:28

I can’t see why it matters how a youngster gets a job, people have been using their connections to do this for years. One of my friends told me her partner was lucky enough to get both his children into good jobs just by speaking to his friends at his golf club.

Franbern Wed 09-Jul-25 08:45:26

I was just 13 and half years old, when my Mum got me up early one Saturday morning, telling me I was accompanying her to the local High Street.
This was back in the early 1950's, part time employment was allowed from 14 years of age. Mum took, to a large very posh shop selling good class glass and crockery. On their door they had a notice saying they were looking for Saturday staff.
I had no say in this, Mum & Dad had decided I was wasting my Saturdays lying in bed, she happily lied about my age and by 9.10 am she left to go home leaving me employed.

I had no desire for this job, but once I got used to it, did like the 15 shillings I received for a 9.00 am - 5.20 pm day. Also worked there in school holidays 5 and half days a week for the grand sum of £3.10s.
Mum & Dad still continued with my pocket money and I used my earnings to purchase shoes (mainly). A couple of years later the small tobacconist/newspaper shop opposite towhere I lived asked me if I would help them out on Sunday mornings for a couple of hours. They had a rush when the local Catholic Church came out. The paid me 10 shillings for that, so, at under 15, I was getting 10 shillings pocket money plus my earning for weekends of £1.5 shillings.

Gave me an insight in working, and the enjoyment of having money for myself.

petra Wed 09-Jul-25 08:59:13

Hithere

Many businesses may not find time worthy to hire a person who is going to be there for such a short period of time- training wise has a cost (in £, time, training requirements, etc)
Scheduling wise may not work either

There could be laws that may make it also very hard to offer those positions, depending on what industry

McDonalds with a turnover of $25 billion don’t appear to be doing too bad with employing millions of teenagers worldwide on short term contracts.

M0nica Wed 09-Jul-25 09:01:56

Why would a teenager not have confidence to reply to an advert aimed at teenagers?

My first holiday job was at Harrods. They put an advert in the Daily Telegraph for holiday staff. I saw it, we lived within commuting distance so I asked my parents whether I could apply and they said yes, so I did, and spent 8 weeks as a junior in budget coats.

This was in the early 1960s, so long before Mohamed Al fayed came on the scene. As a result of my first year I then got other holiday jobs there, in the pay office and then in purchase accounts. (I was studying economics and accounting at university).

DGD didn't even need to look for a job, first a friend of her mother asked her if she wanted a waiting job in her cafe (mainly, I think because as a 16 year old, she could pay her very little) then her dance teacher offered her a job teaching the toddler class at her dancing school, DGD is a highly qualified dancer and ery good with small children.

PoliticsNerd Wed 09-Jul-25 09:03:23

Sago

Our local FB page has daily requests for work for 16-19 year olds, these requests unfortunately are from the parents!

On principle I would not employ someone who relied on a parent to job seek.

My three always found jobs in the summer/weekends etc.
They knocked on doors/emailed/telephoned.

AIBU?

This sounds like a post from someone very out of touch with young people and current parenting.

David49 Wed 09-Jul-25 09:16:16

janeainsworth

^I've even heard a couple of cases where a parent (in both cases, the mum) actually accompanied their child to a job interview!^

That’s nothing new. When I was at university in the late 60’s, it was somehow discovered that a boy in our year had been accompanied to the interview by his mother.
He was immediately labelled as a wet and never lived it down.

We did have one girl accompanied, parent wanted her to do something useful, she lasted a week and was determined to not to do anything useful, sympathy with parent.