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AIBU

Are we ladies or women?

(72 Posts)
dragonfly46 Sat 08-Nov-25 15:11:49

The latest ‘lovely ladies’ thread resonated with me.
I was recently in a meeting of females and addressed them collectively as ladies. One of the group objected strongly to this saying she was not a lady but a woman.

She hated the term lady.
Does anyone else feel this and am I being unreasonable referring to myself and others as a lady?

Grandmabatty Sat 08-Nov-25 15:15:16

I answer to either. I think the person who took you to task was rather rude!

JamesandJon33 Sat 08-Nov-25 15:19:20

Ladies, women , I don’t mind either. Only thing I object to is guys. I am not a guy in any sense of the word.

kittylester Sat 08-Nov-25 15:22:54

I think women is quite an ungainly word of you addressing a crowd. And I also think whoever took you to task was being rude.

FriedGreenTomatoes2 Sat 08-Nov-25 15:23:41

When I’m with my friends we call ourselves’girls’ as in ‘right girls who’s for another round?’ etc.
delusional or what? No matter. 😂

Greyduster Sat 08-Nov-25 15:24:24

I think ‘ladies’ trips off the tongue better than being addressed as ‘women’! I for one prefer it, though whether others consider me to be a lady is a moot point😂. I remember, as a new Army recruit in basic training being addressed by our terrifying sergeant in a very loud voice as “Youse women!” Hmm!

Jaxjacky Sat 08-Nov-25 15:25:02

I’m happy with either and I don’t mind guys either, but addressing a group ‘good afternoon women’ sounds clunky to me.

FriedGreenTomatoes2 Sat 08-Nov-25 15:25:59

I don’t mind ‘guys’ either Jax.

Suzieque66 Sat 08-Nov-25 15:27:29

I am a woman ...

HowVeryDareYou2 Sat 08-Nov-25 15:30:14

I don't mind ladies or women, but really dislike "girls" (at 66, I haven't been a girl for many years), and "guys"

rafichagran Sat 08-Nov-25 15:30:26

I don't mind ladies, guys, or woman, but then I don't choose to be offended.

MG55 Sat 08-Nov-25 15:34:06

I’m with FGT on this.
I talk about going out with the ‘girls’ ( who are in their 60s and 70s!).
Ladies is also fine with friends, “Ladies, what are we having to drink? …”

I do remember however, years ago being told off for referring to my work team as, “ladies” by an outsider and I never worked out why they thought it was wrong.

AGAA4 Sat 08-Nov-25 15:41:51

My group are 'the girls' even though it's 60 years since that was true.
If I'm referring to another woman I will call her a lady.

winterwhite Sat 08-Nov-25 15:45:56

I agree that the objector was rude and silly but I wouldn’t address a group of women as ladies myself, somehow sounds a bit coy. And I wince at expressions like ‘she is one clever lady’, or even ‘she is a clever lady’.

Visgir1 Sat 08-Nov-25 15:47:55

I'm in the don't care group, I too refer to my chums as the " Girls" and my DH goes out for a pint with the "Boys"
If I was corrected by someone who objects to Girls /Ladies I would tell them in totally unlady - like language what to do!

Magenta8 Sat 08-Nov-25 15:54:30

I personally prefer to be called a woman, rather than a lady or a girl. I don't bristle with indignation if I am called either and I certainly think it is rude to overreact and say anything about it.

There are many much worse names that female human beings are called.

Kate1949 Sat 08-Nov-25 15:56:01

I don't like women when addressing a group. For instance in a bar or something, I like it when the server says 'What can I get for you ladies?'. 'What can I get for you women?' doesn't sound right at all. I like 'guys' too.

lixy Sat 08-Nov-25 16:00:08

No offence taken here by being addressed as women, ladies or girls. Just as long as no-one calls me duckie!

PaynesGrey Sat 08-Nov-25 16:14:20

In the plural, it's just a polite form of address to a group of women. Were we to be addressing a group we would say Ladies and Gentlemen not Women and Men.

However, the OED does say: 1.5.a: Originally the female equivalent of lord. Now frequently used as the female counterpart of gentleman and regarded as more polite or genteel than woman; in some contexts, however, this usage may be considered sexist or patronizing. but note this is only referring to lady in the singular so old lady, young lady compared to old woman, young woman.

Madmeg Sat 08-Nov-25 16:53:39

I think "ladies" is a more respectful or genteel word, but I would feel fine with "women" for most things. I am not very ladylike or genteel!

I agree that "girls" is nice and comfortable with people that you know well.

Ladyleftfieldlover Sat 08-Nov-25 17:03:15

When I was secretary of our local WI, I wrote a monthly email to the members: Dear Ladies…

eazybee Sat 08-Nov-25 17:31:14

I don't mind women or ladies, although Good Afternoon Women just sounds wrong. I admit to disliking 'girls' when the youngest in the group, who uses it constantly, is 71. Even worse she refers to the 'boys,' and I genuinely thought she meant her sons.
A gentleman of 85,and I use the term deliberately, referred to the females working in the Library (no longer assistant librarians but customer service advisors) as 'girls,' and was soundly reprimanded by their boss, (Library co-ordinator) and told to refer to them as The Team.

NotSpaghetti Sat 08-Nov-25 17:38:25

I feel exactly the same about "girls" as HowVeryDareYou2 and some others here.

Ideally I'd prefer not not to be introduced as Ladies or Guys or Women.
What is wrong with "good afternoon" on it's own - or "welcome fellow knitters" or similar?

watermeadow Sat 08-Nov-25 17:43:20

I think of us all as women and only some as ladies. I also object to the press calling a vicious criminal a gentleman and the police talking about Males and Females. I suppose now there are also Males Who Used To Be Females and the other way about.

AN41 Sat 08-Nov-25 17:43:35

All ladies are women but not all women are ladies, so there is a difference.
I think either is fine for me but "ladies" is the more formal or respectful way to address a group of women.
Other than noticing that, I don't mind hearing whatever pleases the speaker and suits the company being addressed.

Grey duster's " Youse women" made me laugh. grin
We had a corporal who greeted us each morning as we opened our eyes, with "Feet on the flair".
.