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My friend let me down because of rain

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Contraryme Mon 12-Oct-26 14:51:50

I have a long standing friend who I have had a very close relationship with for many years. She lives a few miles from me, she is single, lives alone but goes out singing at least twice a week. She refuses to use the telephone and expects people to contact her via email, she also doesn't like people visiting her, although she has a lovely home. Until last November when she broke her hip we met up quite often or she would come to my house, if she has a problem she will use the phone and my husband and I will do all we can to help her. I've only seen her about four times over the last 12 months, apart from visiting her in hospital - her choice. When we do meet it's just like old times.
Last Friday we were supposed to be meeting at 2pm. At 1pm she said that she didn't want to go out because it was raining! Her car is parked just outside her front door and the place we were meeting at is a very short walk from the car park. Am I being unreasonable to be very disappointed and maybe even a little angry at being let down for such a weak reason? She is younger than me and fully recovered from her hip replacement. I have put a lot of effort into this friendship but I am wondering if it has run its distance. About cancelling she said 'is this alright?' I replied 'if you don't want to come out it has to be, let me know when you are free'. I feel a bit bad about my attitude - but should I?

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Jaxjacky Mon 12-Oct-26 15:04:02

So she used the phone to cancel then?

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rosie1959 Mon 12-Oct-26 15:09:00

I agree with you refusing to meet as arranged just because it was raining is a very lame excuse

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MarieElla Mon 12-Oct-26 15:12:27

Did you suggest you come to hers?

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greyfur16 Mon 12-Oct-26 15:16:15

I have put a lot of effort into this friendship but I am wondering if it has run its distance

It's a horrible feeling.

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Baggs Mon 12-Oct-26 15:34:22

Perhaps using the rain as an excuse was to cover something else. Perhaps she feels attacked by the Mental Elf and can't explain things to anyone else.

Just a thought.

It sounds as if she is restricted by all kinds of odd ideas, and maybe being out in the rain is the newest one.

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MarieElla Mon 12-Oct-26 15:46:53

Some friendships do run their course.
By you saying ''let me know when you're next free'' you've put the ball in her court. And if she makes no further plans, you'll have your answer. Difficult thought this will be for you (for a while) it will be for the best in the long run.
Who needs flaky friends?

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Erica23 Mon 12-Oct-26 15:53:01

I would have challenged the rain excuse, as it’s so feeble it’s obviously not the real reason. I would have been annoyed and disappointed too.
It’s difficult to know what’s going on, unless she tells you more.
I have a lifelong friend who since her DH retired has asked to meet at a local coffee shop instead of going to each others houses, I’m finding it very odd as her DH is out quite a lot too, she’s also ready to rush home after 45 mins. Maybe it’s me 🤷‍♀️

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Shel1951 Mon 12-Oct-26 16:01:58

I agree with Baggs, something other than the rain.

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Casdon Mon 12-Oct-26 16:09:00

Is she the nervy type, she sounds to me like she is, I just wonder if she is worried about driving in the rain? I know it sounds a bit lame, but some people are very uncomfortable doing anything which takes them out of their comfort zone.

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YorkLady Mon 12-Oct-26 16:14:02

Did she have a fall when she broke her hip?
Maybe that’s dented her confidence and she was worried about the wet and it being slippery underfoot?

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