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AIBU

My friend has multible support bubbles

(122 Posts)
ExD Mon 19-Oct-20 12:26:36

Have I got it wrong?
My friend says she has three bubbles, one with each of her three daughters and their families, so she can have all three in her house at the same time and not break any rules? (We ate tier 2).
Have I been restricting myself all this time by visiting only my married daughter but not my married son who is in a bubble with his in-laws and who we see only in his garden?

EllanVannin Mon 19-Oct-20 12:29:52

Blimey, there's not a soul about here--we're 3 tier so it's not surprising and to my knowledge there aren't many, if any, bubbles.

HootyMcOwlface Mon 19-Oct-20 12:32:01

I think your friend needs her bubbles bursting! As far as I know you are allowed one bubble. And then there is the rule of 6 which you can’t exceed unless your household is already more than 6, so she wouldn’t be able to visit them if that bubble has more than 5.

Teacheranne Mon 19-Oct-20 12:32:37

You are correct, your friend is just wrong! But I also have a friend who has several bubbles and really does not understand when I try to explain what a support bubble is!

Gwenisgreat1 Mon 19-Oct-20 12:34:45

I believe it's just one bubble we are allowed? But sadly we can't all get together because that will make 7. I possibly depends on hw she defines a bubble?

Jaxjacky Mon 19-Oct-20 12:38:30

ExD she’s wrong, it’s singular, a bubble and you can’t flip flop between others.

harrigran Mon 19-Oct-20 12:40:38

Your friend has one bubble and breaking the rules to please herself.

Toadinthehole Mon 19-Oct-20 12:42:34

She’s breaking the law...unless all her kids/ grandchildren live in one house!! Doubt they do.

M0nica Mon 19-Oct-20 13:55:12

You can only have one support bubble and you cannot change it. Here is the link to the government website that makes this quite clear. www.gov.uk/guidance/making-a-support-bubble-with-another-household

suziewoozie Mon 19-Oct-20 14:33:58

Your friend is completely wrong - she needs telling and to take her responsibilities as a grown up seriously. Her 3 dd are also equally wrong - I actually don’t buy that all 4 don’t understand - are they being deliberately disingenuous? Stupid selfish - I’m just fed up of people like this .😡

felice Mon 19-Oct-20 15:05:12

We have gone back into lockdown today(Belgium) DGS school is closed teacher positive, we are all being tested tomorrow morning.
The bubble here is now immediate family at home, and one person per month visiting, same person for me if I want to visit them, not one person from different homes visiting whoever they want.
A Shisha bar which held a party for 200 at the weekend have been charged with rebellion!!!!!
I do not want to sound racist as I am not, but it seems to be the Arab and African residents who cannot stay at home, a friend lives in a migrant area and says the Women in particular are visiting each others homes in groups of up to 12. I see them at the school gate every afternoon and they are still hugging and kissing each other.
The only time I went to a SD service at Church a very dear friend insisted on sitting next to her DIL she had to be told 3 times not too, turns out she had been visiting all her family everyday, 4 children and families and assorted siblings all over the city. They were just going on as normal.
We have been so careful, I have one friend in my bubble, upstairs none, just the family in fact as they both work outside the home I have never been close to DD or SIL at all.
Sorry bit of a rant but needed to get it off my chest.
I have a lot of friends in the hospitality industry and I know some will not cope, even with quite generous help from the government and banks, very sad today, and DGS playing up a bit, as he was finally enjoying school.

ExD Mon 19-Oct-20 15:27:36

Thank you.
M0nica's link spells it out in plain English and its as I thought. I, like suziew, am fed up with people searching out ways to avoid sticking to the rules.

NotTooOld Mon 19-Oct-20 16:34:01

Hear, hear, ExD. And these rule flouters seem to think it's funny as well.

MaggieTulliver Mon 19-Oct-20 16:37:56

More and more people are breaking the “rules”. It’s human nature. And the rules aren’t working anyway; impose a lockdown infections decrease, come out of lockdown and they go up again.

suziewoozie Mon 19-Oct-20 17:00:29

It’s the mean selfish side of human nature then. Saying the rules don’t work is a cop out as is saying you don’t understand them. Anybody would think they were written in double Dutch.

NotTooOld Mon 19-Oct-20 17:22:58

Well said, suzie.

ValerieF Mon 19-Oct-20 18:02:11

Your friend isn't correct ExD but what do you want to do about it? Report her? Or see your family as she does hers?

Personally I would keep out of it. Do what you think is right. Our only obligation is that we try to curtail this virus as much as we possibly can. These 'bubbles' are ridiculous imo, because even with only seeing one person, that one person (in a bubble) can get infected if they go out shopping or to work and pass it on. Nothing is a certainty.

suziewoozie Mon 19-Oct-20 18:08:52

Of course nothing is a certainty but I object to others deliberately breaking the rules and the potential impact on my life in various ways. The friend is not meeting her obligations and if she were my friend, I’d tell her. The bubbles are not ridiculous - they were brought in to give emotional / psychological/ practical support to someone living on their own or a line parent. Of people abuse them, they are putting what is a great idea in jeopardy.

Georgesgran Mon 19-Oct-20 18:13:00

Thankfully my SIL lives in a different area - she’s lovely, but has bubbles with both sons, one’s married and the other has a partner and children he doesn’t live with and their families, 5 other ladies who she meets almost daily for coffee/meals and has met up regularly with groups of ladies she used to work with. I’ve tried to explain things but she says they are all in the 70/80 age group and have taken the view that their time is limited, so they’re going to make the best of it. I give up!!

Grammaretto Mon 19-Oct-20 18:20:15

Your friend is wrong, plainly.
There has to be some leeway though to save peoples' sanity IMO.
My friend has gone to see her mum who she hasn't seen since February because her mum has just been diagnosed with a terminal illness. They are both sensible people and won't be partying any time soon.

I think there is a case for exceptional circumstances - don't you?

Sparklefizz Mon 19-Oct-20 18:25:45

I have an acquaintance who has just about everyone she knows in her bubble. Every time she mentions a name, she adds "She/they are in my bubble as I live on my own."

With people like this I give up!

Oopsminty Mon 19-Oct-20 18:27:50

I know a couple of people who do this

They are baffled when it's pointed out to them that they shouldn't be having multiple bubbles.

Not much you can do really.

But you are in the right, ExD

Hetty58 Mon 19-Oct-20 18:58:41

So many people are just making up the rules as they go along - always to suit themselves.

Obviously, this second wave is going to escalate out of control - directly due to this stupid behaviour.

Last time, fortunately, the NHS was severely tested - but not overwhelmed. It was summer, now it's winter.

Don't they realise that there won't be any spare beds in ICU when they need them?

maddyone Mon 19-Oct-20 19:09:54

ExD, your friend cannot have anyone in her house as you say she lives in Tier Two. She could, as I understand it, be in one support bubble and then mix with that family, but she certainly cannot be in three. Does your friend not understand the rules or is she deliberately flaunting them? I don’t think my 93 year old mother properly understands the bubble concept (my husband and I are in a bubble with her) but it’s not so crucial as we are in Tier One, so only the rule of six applies here at the moment.

ExD Mon 19-Oct-20 20:08:44

My daughter and her DH (she's not in my bubble) need to travel from the lowest tier (is that 1?) for the funeral which will be held here, and will need to stay overnight as they will be travelling over 200 miles ).
My friend can't understand why they won't be sleeping over at my house, but have booked a self catering holiday nearby. We will meet them at the funeral, where there'll be named seats in the church, and afterwards for a brief 'wake' - and that's all.
I would dearly have liked to have then stay with me, and it was this friend's reaction to what she thinks is my 'callous behaviour' in what she sees as 'not welcoming' my own daughter into my own house that prompted me to ask this question.
She had me convinced DD and I had got it wrong and my daughter and family could stay with us as they would have done had times been normal.