home alone

And a fake. Cheerio.

sorry?

sorry? fake? dont understand? is that normal and i am overreacting?

greyfur Why are you calling the OP a fake please?

thank you

So let’s assume this is a legitimate post and this GParent is concerned.

It’s not the age, but the sense and character of the child being left alone.

At 12 many “children” are quite responsible and neither want or need a childminder.

However, it’s a long day, but I’m sure parents keep in touch and maybe she has a friend round and I’m assuming she has a mobile phone.

I guess if she is ok with it and her parents are too, you just have to understand it’s their child and their rules.

Not sure what else to add, it’s not unreasonable to care, but it’s not really your concern.

So long as you still see her and can contact her and she seems safe and happy, I guess job done!

I guess it doesnt help as due to my work I receive alerts from the local Safeguarding Board. There has also been a huge flood of newcomers in the area that hang about on the street corners. She is sensible but for me its the unknown situations. Guess i am just far too concerned. Quite rightly you said its not really my concern. Very nicely put Cossy, thank you. I appreciate your input.

It depends on how mature she is, how comfortable and safe she feels. How well she is able to deal with an emergency. How many immediate contacts she can call upon and the frequency and length of time. Does she have a close friend with her? I can understand your concern if it is excessive.

deanswaydolly

sorry?

Take no notice. Carry on with what you want to post.

Not tonight she doesnt, and not much during the day. Its just a new school year tomorrow and she isnt looking forward to it. I was just annoyed they have gone out and left her tonight in particular. I am imaging her just sat there on her phone alone. Her mum is fond of saying things like " she is in charge of her own body" when she didnt want blood tests. "She is responsible for her own self". Obviously i dont say anything but i want to shout " she is 12 not an adult and thats what parents are for!! To be fair an actual night out is a rare occurance. We are only 5 mins drive away so could have gone down.

I am sure a 12 year old will be safe at home on her own. My “mother” cleared off when I was 6 my father had to work so he had no choice but to leave me alone. He laid down very strict rules and I was fine. I don’t think he would get away with it nowadays.
I am sure deanswaydolly your granddaughter will be fine.

It's a bit grim, I think.
Certainly not ideal, and as you say, the night before she's due back at school.
It just seems sad.

I'm all for supporting independence but it does sound a little lacking in supportive parenting. Blood tests etc are important and at times necessary. However it is difficult if a 12 year refuses a blood test. And hopefully the parents can help her to understand the need for one, a bit of dereliction of care to say it's her body, her choice.

Ofcourse deanswaydolly is concerned.
Just stay at the end of the phone, in case she needs you. I have a granddaughter and a grandson who are both nearly 12. I have not known either of them to have ever been left alone. Or maybe they have , but I don’t know about it 😂

I'd be concerned, too, at a child of that age spending so many hours with just her phone for company.
How could you possibly know who she is speaking to, what sites she is accessing, and that the people she chats to are all kindly intentioned?