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NADFAS

(8 Posts)
rosequartz Fri 18-Sep-15 11:23:09

A group I belong to was told they were 'cliquey' - the committe and their 'special friends'.
(My friend and I were not in 'the clique' btw - and were not the ones to tell them)

They were shocked and have been so much more welcoming and friendly to everyone since then.

Tegan Fri 18-Sep-15 11:20:44

People can behave most oddly when in a group. We met someone whilst out walking a few weeks ago and went to a pub that evening that she'd recommended. She had said that the local councillors were meeting there [she was involved]; when we got there they were all crowded round the door so we had to push our way to a seat, then had to push our way out of the pub when we left [no one would move from the door to let us through; they then glared at us..we only pushed because our 'please can we get past' comments had been ignored]. The woman who we'd been chatting to for @ an hour that afternoon completely blanked us. I didn't go back to u3a after going on a walk and being left with another new member with none of the other members speaking to us [I don't think she went back, either].

janerowena Fri 18-Sep-15 11:09:39

Have you tried turning to people, smiling, and introducing yourself, and asking them about the group? Some people are just a bit shy with strangers, maybe you were unlucky. I dive in with newcomers, but I notice that not many of my choirs do so and I know that we have lost a couple of new singers who found the (very shy by comparison) sopranos unfriendly. When I started, I sat next to a woman who didn't speak to me at all the first week - but the second week she brought me in a CD to listen to. I don't think you can make snap judgements like that.

Matella Fri 18-Sep-15 10:31:08

Oops. What I was going to say was that eventually the cloggers ended up being great friends and when I brought the problem up at the AGM they were highly embarrassed. It was shear laziness as it was much easier to talk to people they were familiar with than think of something to say to me.
If you are passionate about the subjrct don't let them get in your way. I'm sure the secretary will have told them. Let them feel uncomfortable but hopefully make more effort!
Sorry for long post. One of my pet hates i'm afraid.

Matella Fri 18-Sep-15 10:15:06

It is a shame that some people can be so rude and unwelcoming. It is an even greater shame when they stop you taking part in your hobby.
Twice in the past I was faced with this. One was a rounders team. They did not ever accept me and I left after one season because frankly I was not that passionate about rounders.
The other was a clog team and I loved the exercise and dancing.

aftrr one season

Indinana Fri 18-Sep-15 10:04:47

What a disappointment. I'm glad you let the membership secretary know of your dissatisfaction. It would be nice to think that he/she would read your letter out to the membership!

Anne58 Fri 18-Sep-15 09:59:27

That's a shame Teetime, you would expect groups like that to make new members feel welcome! I'm afraid that sometimes these organisations can be very "cliquey".

Teetime Fri 18-Sep-15 09:33:24

We had heard from friends how good the arts lectures and trips were with NADFAS (National Association of Decorative and Fine Arts I think) and recently attended a local group. The lecture was indeed first rate with a Oxford professor being the lecturer. The membership secretary greeted us and took our £10 for the one hour lecture but after that not a soul spoke to us even though we gave them ample opportunity and did our fair share of nodding and smiling. At one point a woman sat down next to me (having got us both to stand up and let her pass to get to her seat in the lecture theatre without a thank you) and turned her back on me to talk to the people in the row above. We are not going back but have let the membership secretary know why. I am very disappointed about this.