Naughty knitting (⚠ not for the easily shocked)

This has made me chuckle

Pattern book has arrived already!
A bonus I hadn’t thought of, the pattern book includes a lovely little Westie dog, just 5 inches nose to tail. He’ll be a perfect insert for the sack of my 3rd Big Fat F*** C********, nearly finished.

Though what I’m going to do with all my C-word makes (intended for Gdcs and their school C-word fairs) now I don’t know, since sadly I can’t see those fairs happening this year.
Keep them for next year?
Give them all away?

Knitted poos!!!! Nooooo

There's no end to your talent!
By the way, I saw some VERY graphic knitted "things" when I was searching for the poo. (please let nobody find my search history!)

I suspect that my elder Gdcs (4 and 5) would love that knitted poo!

Actually I have knitted poo before - it was donkey poo, after my naughty little sister (she’s 60 odd) said I ought to, to add authenticity to my Nativity stable scene.

So I duly knitted 3 of Jean Greenhowe’s holly berries, only in brown, and stitched them together to make a nice little pile of donkey poo.
Gdcs enjoyed it!

Anatomically correct knitted Dolls have been used for many years by therapists working with abused young children, who find it easier to express their problems via playing with a doll rather than just telling a therapist what is really bothering them. They allow a child to act out a scenario through play and actions, rather than speech, and can be useful when working with very young children simply be watching them play.

Personally, all the men in my family wore briefs under their kilts.
grandtante Why!?

Too late.

?

Grannynannywanny! What a thought. Mind you, have you seen the Bristol Stool Scale?
Note to all Grans - never try to knit a poo. Nobody wants to see that!

Jane10 Phew, that’s a relief. I’ve just read a post on a thread about a poor soul suffering severe constipation while camping. She’s posted an update saying she’s now “relieved”back home in her on loo.
I thought for a minute your request to post a picture when it’s done was to her ?

Post a picture once it's done Witzend. We'll all need cheered up in January.

A dd still has a boy baby doll that was passed on to to her in the early 80s. Gdd enjoyed playing with it when she was into baby dolls. She’s more into Barbies ?now.

Having thought I wouldn’t bother, I found the piper pattern for a very reasonable price the other night, and ordered it. Once I’ve finished the current projects I will probably have a bash at it - very likely during the long, dark, January evenings.

Maybe there will be a charity sale or auction somewhere that would like it - and if nothing else it’ll use up lots of bits of my stash! For once I wouldn’t need to order so much as a 25g ball of anything.

Did you get all hot and bothered when baby dolls were marketed in the 1960s as little brother with a willie?

Personally, all the men in my family wore briefs under their kilts.

Well I would love the piper myself, I like a good laugh

Wow Elegran I'm impressed. Looking forward to seeing the finished erm article.

My memory is a bit woolly on the subject matter

It’s given me a laugh and have sent it on to my daughter knowing she would also appreciate.

Knit it from a model or memory ?

That’s very kind of you, @Elegran, thank you, but I’ve still got a lot of C-word knitting on the list, and I can’t see condition B being fulfilled for quite a while yet.

I do hope you’ll post a pic when you’ve finished yours!

Witzend I have just bought it (for "only" £9.50) so if you solve your second condition, I can scan it and send you a copy.

Actually, @Billybob, I might be tempted to knit it, if a) I could find a pattern for less than about 17 quid, and b) if there was anybody I could give it to who I know would really appreciate it.
Not that any of my lot would be remotely shocked, they’d just wonder what on earth they were supposed to do with it, after the initial giggle.
Though given a few years (he’s only 4) I dare my grandson would find it hilarious!

MissAdventure

Ouch! At both the cost, and the thought of you "going for a burton" trying to earn some cash.

Yes, it's too much for an extra little gift.

put a stop... not an stop...